omg
ok so today and the past 3 months have been so damn amazing with ashley. i could ask for nothing more then what has happened and been going on. i love her so damn much. she makes me feel like i am the only one in this world to her. the feelings i get when i am around her are so amazing and it makes me feel so good on the inside. with ashley i know what true love is. i know what kindness is. i know how a real relationship is supposed to be. and i am loving it so much.
me and ahsley stayed up til like 4 am this morning talking and some of the things she told me made me cry happy tears. to know that someone cares for me as much as ashley does. i tell you what there is no greater feeling in this world then that.
the other day she made me have some happy tears in the truck while driving.
i told her that she was a so amazing that she is like a dream cause she is making all my dreams come true with her. i have only dreamed some of the things that has happened and none of those dreams even compare to how it really is in real life. it is so much bigger and better then in my dreams. i have always wanted someone who could make me feel the way i do. like give the same feelings and joy and love back that i give everyday.
i don't know what it is about her yet i know alot but not everything but she is the only person who can make me feel the way i do today.
the things she makes me feel i tell you i feel like i need to go ahead and walk to the ends of the earth for her. i am not sure if that makes sense to whoever reads this but it did in my head.lol.
i told her i would walk to the ends of the earth any day any time just to tell her that i love her one last time.
get this i have been in and out of the hospital for the past 5 weeks for injury's and ashley has delt with my shit/ stuff. lol. no one else i know would have done any of this for me. only ashley.
so we were going to get an apartment. we still might if beril goes in on it. if not i think we decided we would wait a little while longer for that. which is fine. i know sometimes i feel like i am just getting in everyone's way here. and then sometimes i don't.
the other day ashley told me that her parents are dissapointed with me pretty much. i am trying to fix that cause i hate that feeling when you feel like you dissapointed someone.
omg you know what i love doing to ashley. rubbing the hell out of her feat.
she says they hurt all the time and i love making them feel better. i told her i would rub them everyday that i can if it made her feel better.lol.
i would do anything for ashley anything at all. i hope she knows that and isn't affraid to tell me anything at all that she wants. one of the things i love about ashley is that she loves to sit down and cuddle alot. i love doing that so much. i feel like i belong when i am around her. when i wrap my arms around her. when i have my arms around her and i whisper in her ear taht i love her with all of my heart and soul and that i always have amd always will.
i feel like the other night i might have screwed up. i think. i found out not to long ago taht i am starile. and then ifind out that if it gets fixed that it would be harder to have kids. i love ahsley so much and i know that she loves me especialy when she tells me that, thats ok with her. i get to go see a doctor soon and then i get to figure out what i can do about being sterile. i love you so much ashley and tyhe things you tell me make me feel so good on the inside and on the outside. you make me feel so sexy and i love it.
well thats all for now everyone. i will write here later.