what i put behind!
so every once in a while, i like to kinda look at what i am putting off and not dealing with.... and one of the most important is.....is dance what i want to be doing in 10 years? people are asking me to look in the future, and generally that scares me, cuz i only like to look a certain amounth ahead.... and i think that it is time i make a descion kinda... but i am putting it off. i am to affriad that if i choose something, i will end up dissapointing someone with my descion. is dance what i want to do. i seriuosly need my teachers to be honest and tell me if i have potentail or if i am just wasting my time and money. but i dont think they will....but honestly that is what i need right now. i know that i am young, and only 16 but the way i am trying to do things now is plan ahead, and not "live in the moment"....and i guess i got alot of preasure from ym parents in all. i htink that they are pushing this soo much becasue of heather and kim starting so late and in a way fucking up there oppertunities.... and i honestly dont want to stay here, as soon as i am out of high school, i plant to bolt out of here and go exploring...i just have this bad feeling that i am ganna fuck everyhting up really bad, and it will end bad...i just cant have that. not now, not ever, not me. right now i am just exanimating my life, peice by peice...i want truth, not quick and easy! im sick of Quick and easy!!!!