so hilarious
I was at this girl's house the other night and didn't have any condoms. She goes, "That's OK." She hands me a Magnum she had in the drawer. A MAGNUM! The fucking package looks like a CD case. I said, "Thanks. If i go fly fishing, i can stand in it, like sea boots. Have you ever been out all night and woken up next to some chick only to realize she's got a goatee and a dick? Then you realize he's dead, and you're thinking, "Not Again, Man. Not Again." Yeah. i need to stop drinking.