Nov 14, 2011 02:32
And i mean physically!
Fuck me, I tried to go to sleep at 1am... yea that didn't work so well.
First i kept waking myself up with twitching. Like, my whole LEG kicking out, just as i was getting into proper sleep.
Then it just became a case of 'cant sleep, can feel heartbeat, keep feeling like i'm not breathing enough'
If you dont watch my DA journals then I havent told you about the palpitations yet have I? I cant rememeber, i dont think i have.
So anyway, I've randomly been getting palpitations in the last few days. First it was late one night, then late another night (cant rememeber if it was the next day or a day after) then on and off all day on Saturday during my work shift.
By Saturday night i was kinda freaking out, because i've felt these before, but not so prolonged.
It's not painful, just annoying, and so far I have no idea what exactly is the cause.
All I know is, I should see a doctor, I have no idea when or how i'm going to get there (requires driving in the early morning and then probably getting referred to hospital for e.c.g which requires driving to hospital, and I cant drive)
Today i didn't really get more than the occassional flutter, but because i'm worried about it, i'm constantly stressing and waiting for it to happen again.
Now that i'm getting muscle twitches, i'm wondering if it's a magnesium defficiency causeing it, but then again, it could be that im actually not getting enough oxygen to the muscles when I try to sleep and my breathing changes.
Fuck, it's like trying to sleep when you get a cold, you're so uncomfortable you just cant do it.
So here I am, awake again and deciding to wear myself out into sleep, because it could just be a combination of trying to sleep early (which with me hardly EVER works anyway) and being paranoid.
The worst thing with it is I just DONT KNOW what's going on, no idea if it's nothing and I shouldn't be worried or if i'm on a downward spiral into some kind of unexplicable acute heart failure (which would be odd since i have no family history of this, but hey, that's the thing with innexplicable happenings).
I really, REALLY just want to be overreacting on a massive scale and for this to simply be my body saying 'lose some damn weight'.
I've already had people saying it could be anything from simple twitching of the node that controls heartbeat to atrial fibrilation to whatever other serious shit.
The main thing is, it's not painful, and today it decreased rather than increased.
The only one of the prescription medications that can cause this is e-mycin, and that would be wierd, since I've been on it for a few weeks now and not had any side effects (unfortunately it also doesnt seem to actually be working for the acne though, which is what it's for :/ )
Anyway, this is just me finding ways to get this off my chest and kill time to make myself tired. I don't know if heart is actually havng problems making me feel ill or if i'm just making myself feel ill with worry or what. Low level consistent anxiety probably isn't helping, thats for sure.Especially since my parents dont seem to want to take this seriously >.
fuck