I am Princess on the way to my throne~
Click to viewI don't have any complaints.
I don't know why I've been feeling so...
so... sulky.
I don't want to start thinking through and wondering what might be 'causing' these feelings. Every time I do I end up no where good. There are facts of my life that just kinda suck, gotta work around 'em.
With that being known, I really feel like I need to learn how to make the best out of this incredibly stagnate situation. Keep on the hopeful side. Seems everyone around me is a Negative Nancy though. I keep absorbing it. I hate it.
I don't know how to inspire Jon.
It's most frustrating.
My life is directly attached to his and with him being so lost I'm in turn getting lost with him.
He has said it himself - that our relationship is headed in a similar direction that my relationship with Rob did. I know that doesn't have to happen. But I also know if I don't move on from living in this bedroom soon I'm going to lose it entirely... again. Already I'm wanting to get out the house less and less. I'll drive home from work and remark to myself how nice the weather is and how great it would be to take Hiro for a walk. I get home, and any desire to get out vanishes.
So I'm trying to tell myself that if I want to do something, I need to just do it. But alas, I am not an independent person. I can think independently and I adapt to change better than a chameleon. For all my self-confidence and self-centeredness in the end I live for others. To do things by myself for myself alone is of little interest to me. If I ever do something alone it's fueled by connecting the thoughts to those in my life-or those who I don't know yet but want in my life. (Not that I dislike doing things alone, I love it... but I'm digressing.)
I wish Bret would be less mean towards his absurd, demanding mother. :(
Or I hope I'm wrong in thinking that and she takes it all openly and becomes a better person.
Otherwise I feel like it's similar to yelling at a child for something it can't comprehend yet.
You just make the child cry and hate you.
What good is that? =\
Trying not to get involved on a "This is what I think." level. I know he reads this and this is the most neutral-thought place I can say anything like that.
Really, life is still very good to me.
My birthday was wonderful and I was able to gift Bret well.
<3
I've written a letter to my Mom saying thank you and explaining why I haven't been talking to her and probably still won't for awhile.
Oh, Bret hit me on the side of my face that my industrial was on in... good fun ^.~. It ended up bleeding... a shit ton. So I took it out the other day to clean out the dried blood. (omg there was so much x_x you should see my pillow) Turns out that was the worst idea ever - maybe not ever because I'm thinking that if I didn't clean it like I did it would've just ended up horribly infected so... probably just a catch 22. Heh heh heh. Well. I couldn't get it back in. Read that you're suppose to leave it in and untouched for ~8 weeks. Haaaaaaaa. It scabbed/sealed up in just a couple hours. Gotta call the tattoo place and see what I need to do now. I miss it a whole lot :( gotta get it back.
Hiro's fleas are gone!
He's getting the fur back on his tail and butt~
^____^
I want to watch FMA with Bret :V
lalala
I swear I'm fine. XD
This funk is dumb ^_^ too much to do for it to last much longer. These things happen~
/dance
<3<3<3
NEKO
P.S. Love you Bret ;P