(no subject)
Dear Self,
I found pictures of you from 6 years ago, pictures you thought you looked disgusting in. I remember looking at them and thinking "this is why no one likes you, you're repulsive". It shocked me to see them now, and see how cute you were. You thought you were the world's biggest loser who no one could ever like, platonically or romantically (despite having friends and lovers). In retrospect, this was just your view of yourself - not reality. It's been a hard pill to swallow, seeing with my (now older) eyes how warped my view was, and can continue to be. My view of who you are has shaped my entire life.
I have operated through the belief that you are unlikable, unlovable and made choices, created my world from there. I have despised you in the past, truly, judged you, berated you. I have never once thought that actually, you're good enough as you are. You're intelligent enough, kind enough, funny enough, interesting enough, attractive enough. Because I still make those judgements about you now.
It is time. It is truly, truly time for this to change. No more thinking you are below second-best. It's time I like you - because you are enough for me, for the right people, for life. I'm sorry it's taken 32 years to accept you, to realise that thinking negatively about you is a mask. The deep truth about you isn't that you're disgusting and everyone who gets close will eventually find that out. The deep truth about you is that you are wonderfully human and you bring joy to the lives of many. There's no competition for you to win - no one else you 'should' be. Liking yourself is the mission now - it's the only way forward.
Love,
Yourself
Dear Self,
And another thing - it wasn't your fault. The opportunities you missed, the guy you pushed away all those years ago, the relationship you've just had with your ex - it's because you believed that everything you touched turned to decay and rot. Because you didn't believe in your goodness. It wasn't your fault, you experienced an intense amount of trauma. Now you have the gift of knowing that this has been infesting your head, and you have the opportunity to change that.
Love,
Yourself
I found pictures of you from 6 years ago, pictures you thought you looked disgusting in. I remember looking at them and thinking "this is why no one likes you, you're repulsive". It shocked me to see them now, and see how cute you were. You thought you were the world's biggest loser who no one could ever like, platonically or romantically (despite having friends and lovers). In retrospect, this was just your view of yourself - not reality. It's been a hard pill to swallow, seeing with my (now older) eyes how warped my view was, and can continue to be. My view of who you are has shaped my entire life.
I have operated through the belief that you are unlikable, unlovable and made choices, created my world from there. I have despised you in the past, truly, judged you, berated you. I have never once thought that actually, you're good enough as you are. You're intelligent enough, kind enough, funny enough, interesting enough, attractive enough. Because I still make those judgements about you now.
It is time. It is truly, truly time for this to change. No more thinking you are below second-best. It's time I like you - because you are enough for me, for the right people, for life. I'm sorry it's taken 32 years to accept you, to realise that thinking negatively about you is a mask. The deep truth about you isn't that you're disgusting and everyone who gets close will eventually find that out. The deep truth about you is that you are wonderfully human and you bring joy to the lives of many. There's no competition for you to win - no one else you 'should' be. Liking yourself is the mission now - it's the only way forward.
Love,
Yourself
Dear Self,
And another thing - it wasn't your fault. The opportunities you missed, the guy you pushed away all those years ago, the relationship you've just had with your ex - it's because you believed that everything you touched turned to decay and rot. Because you didn't believe in your goodness. It wasn't your fault, you experienced an intense amount of trauma. Now you have the gift of knowing that this has been infesting your head, and you have the opportunity to change that.
Love,
Yourself