First there is the business of seating himself. Bartleby clearly doesn't spend a lot of time with his wings out or he wouldn't try to sit on a couch. Or a chair. Or anything with, you know, a back. Finally he settles (wobbly, but settled!) on a stool
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"Ok. Not that I really feel guilty about this anymore... ok, maybe I do feel some guilt, it's not the kind of thing you can really easily sweep under the mental Carpet of Denial, right? And it sort of wasn't really me that did it, although it was me... I think... and it wasn't entirely my fault, because I was manipulated. But I guess it was my fault, taking responsibility is important, right? And... um..."
Eyeshift.
"I sort of destroyed an entire solar system inhabited by sentient beings."
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Bartleby will take her hand if allowed, and it's like the moment you step inside from tussling in the snow: not hot (except your face is red) and not cold (although you might be shivering), the transition seems caught in a smarting moment of temperatureless-ness. And it's just as fleeting, in the face of all she is.
"Sometimes, I think we've all been there," he says, lightly, if literally, in his case. "It's only as a representation of something more than ourselves that we reach that kind of moment, but we are there, and we're left with the pieces, too. How's the clean up been going?"
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"Well, not everyone's been there. Otherwise we'd be pretty short on inhabited solar systems. But it sure would be easier for me if that was true. I show a little fire, come back from the dead again, and people get all weird around me. Like I'm going to disintegrate them or something, which I'm not... ok, maybe Emma... I have a grip now, you know?"
Exhale. She assumes he's talking about Operation: Pick Up Phoenix, since he's an angel, and they know everything.
"The clean up has been keeping me pretty busy. That, and dodging Shi'ar battlecruisers. I swear, those people hold a grudge forever."
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"It's funny that you say 'grip', because maybe it's just me, but I try to carry the sentence on to a natural conclusion, and I'm thinking like: a grip on a weapon. A grip on a tree branch so you won't fall. When you're holding someone's hand. To say you have a grip on something is a difficult promise to accept as comfort. Now it's not just that they're afraid of your power, they're afraid of losing you. But the last one doesn't sound so bad, the hand holding. Maybe that's what they need to be shown."
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"Ummm. Well. It don't count if'n I don't feel sorry, right?"
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Victor smiled sheepishly, and nodded. "I curse a lot, sometimes. I don't get along wi' my family, but that's gettin' a little bit better. Ummm. I think mean thoughts at people when 'm upset. I sorta feel guilty 'bout that last one. I'm not really conventional wi' how I love, neither, an' sometimes I feel bad that I ain't really like other folks wi' the lovey-ness. I dunno why, 'cause I ain't sinnin'."
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"Well, I can tell you what you already know, kid, you're no saint. ... Cause, and you know this, it takes forever to become one, and miracles, really not that easy. Like, I can't even do one, I'm just not a miracle-doing kinda angel. I would never get sainted down here, and you know why? Because society is run by cranky old men, that's why, and they're like, family's important! Be nice to people! Have a family of your own! And that's not wrong and it's not a bad idea, but it's not really a rule. It's more like a ... guideline."
Bartleby grimaces at having to use that expression.
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He resettles on the stool, ruffled from trying to explain. "Don't you have your own priest to confess to?"
Absolutely straight face.
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"Nahhh, parted ways some time ago. Fella up 'n' disappeared, actually." Whatever happened, he doesn't seem terribly bothered by it. "This a usual part'a the divine daily routine, or're you just killin' time?"
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