A new icon, and it was quite a journey to get there.

[dear_life______]

It's weird because it wasn't what I had in mind. You know, this stupid and insignificant icon decision I went through seems to concisely depict how I should handle most situations in my life.

I was going to use half my face. Then tiresias2 mentioned those body photos on my user info(particularly the GEB one). I liked them as well, but thought it was kind

Comments

[secretsquirrel2]

I'm always impressed by how similar your reasoning is to mine. I had a therapy appointment last tuesday, my first time back in a year. One of the things that it made me think about was why I seem to find it so difficult to change when other people who also have difficulty manage to

[dear_life______]

New ideas are more "shocking" and consequently more likely to change us than ones we already know.

A new idea is untested and provides "Shock value". It's something we haven't thought of before and therefore it hasn't been subject to our emotions, perceptions,...

Yeah, that's true. I probably haven't changed how I live my life because I'm afraid of new ideas. I've never experienced them, so they never went through my emotions/perceptions, and I don't know what to expect as a result.

Now you lost me after that. I'm having a difficult time understanding what you're saying here:

..and all the filters we put shit through when we incorporate it

[secretsquirrel2]

no that isn't what I meant... Sorry I'm having a hard time of explaining it simply since this would otherwise probably take me pages just to explain all the indvidual terms I'm using in this particular context

[dear_life______]

oh great, my comment just disappered. I hate when that happens, especially when it's long and you don't remember what you wrote.

anyways. I understand a bit more of what you're saying. It seems to make sense for why I can't do things that other people easily accomplish and have no problem doing so.

It's interesting that you gave that example because I've experienced it before. I see people advised to write a note to the person if they're afraid to talk to them, and they readily go along with it, having little difficulty. But when that same idea comes into my head, I have to carefully think over it and wonder if it's really a good thing to do.

That guy in HS who I was too afraid to speak to, I assumed he was too afraid to talk to me since he seemed to lack some confidence, which I unfortunately did as well. I thought about writing him a letter(here is one of them), and when I finished, I read over it. I tried to imagine what his reaction would be to each sentence, carefully trying to make sure it sounded fine

[dear_life______]

"...maybe he would be glad to know I'm thinking about me him."

[secretsquirrel2]

Believe me I understand as well as I think it's possible for anyone to understand. What you're talking about is displaying a very Avoidant style

[tommypop]

Man, this is a real interesting discussion.

I have often found myself caught in that analysing trap, where you care so much about external perceptions of you, it's often easier to numbly drift along trying desperately hard to avoid conflict or criticism, but never fully opening up and being yourself.

It seems there are some people who never fall into this trap by just not caring what people think of them. I don't think this is the answer though. Maybe it's more to do with recognising the difference between "caring" and "worrying."

I don't know.

Anyway it was a pleasure stumbling across your journal in the mire of text-speak pages so I'm gonna add you.

[dear_life______]

ok, you're added. But my journal is a bit slow recently due to finals.