:)
It's kinda weird how spending time with friends, sleeping, making art, and having time off of work can completely turn a frown upside down. Who woulda guessed? But seriously, I do feel a whole hell of a lot better just from having what I've termed "a normal life." For me this means not being stuck at a camp all week long. I never would've thought that being a camp instructor would make me hate life. I mean I'm out in the wilderness except I'm surrounded by little children.
I have come time and time again to realize how much I hate kids and people sometimes. Other times there's a really awesome group of kids who consisted of a depressed jewish cutter, yuppy emo poser, dead baby joke lover with Vietnam flashbacks, and other kick ass awesome outcast wonder campers. That's what sweet. Those kids... hell yeah man. I liked those kids. Other campers though could fuck themselves up their a-holes for all I care about. But yeah...I'm totally disliking the children. So now after my wonderful time off, I feel like I can face the world with hope, try to find a new job or college, and actually start enjoying my me time. I'm actually reading a book!!!! I haven't had time to read since February :( But now!!! Yeah for Edge-a-ma-cay-shun! I'm reading about Ishi, one of the last 'wild' Native Americans who mysteriously returned to 'civilization' in California 40 years after people thought his whole tribe had been killed off. Also reading Strenghts Finder, about finding what the hell my natural strengths are and taking a sweet ass test about it. And I got a new High Fructose Magazine, awesome new age art mag. Very sweet.
Still having problems being sleepy, sick, but not so much sad about the break up stuff. I think since I started to right a kid's story kinda thing (just in a journal) about my fucked up life, I have kinda a better prespective on how this really isn't that bad. It's nothing to compare to my childhood which I actually survived without trying to kill myself. It wasn't like I was beaten to a bloody pulp by family members daily or anything like that, but it was hard when daily I was verbally abused by my father and continually picked on at school by the majority of my peers. Nothing terribly uncommon, but hey, no one deserves that. Anywho, my story is helping me remember who I am, why I'm still here, and how I can take on almost anything in life. I'm digging it. I keep thinking of Tim Burton, Roman Dirge, and Jhonen Vasquez as I write it.
SO I figured I'd post on a good day and smile about how life is kind of turning around, maybe :)
Btw, I love the TV show Big Bang Theory.
I have come time and time again to realize how much I hate kids and people sometimes. Other times there's a really awesome group of kids who consisted of a depressed jewish cutter, yuppy emo poser, dead baby joke lover with Vietnam flashbacks, and other kick ass awesome outcast wonder campers. That's what sweet. Those kids... hell yeah man. I liked those kids. Other campers though could fuck themselves up their a-holes for all I care about. But yeah...I'm totally disliking the children. So now after my wonderful time off, I feel like I can face the world with hope, try to find a new job or college, and actually start enjoying my me time. I'm actually reading a book!!!! I haven't had time to read since February :( But now!!! Yeah for Edge-a-ma-cay-shun! I'm reading about Ishi, one of the last 'wild' Native Americans who mysteriously returned to 'civilization' in California 40 years after people thought his whole tribe had been killed off. Also reading Strenghts Finder, about finding what the hell my natural strengths are and taking a sweet ass test about it. And I got a new High Fructose Magazine, awesome new age art mag. Very sweet.
Still having problems being sleepy, sick, but not so much sad about the break up stuff. I think since I started to right a kid's story kinda thing (just in a journal) about my fucked up life, I have kinda a better prespective on how this really isn't that bad. It's nothing to compare to my childhood which I actually survived without trying to kill myself. It wasn't like I was beaten to a bloody pulp by family members daily or anything like that, but it was hard when daily I was verbally abused by my father and continually picked on at school by the majority of my peers. Nothing terribly uncommon, but hey, no one deserves that. Anywho, my story is helping me remember who I am, why I'm still here, and how I can take on almost anything in life. I'm digging it. I keep thinking of Tim Burton, Roman Dirge, and Jhonen Vasquez as I write it.
SO I figured I'd post on a good day and smile about how life is kind of turning around, maybe :)
Btw, I love the TV show Big Bang Theory.