Long time, no write.
So it's really been a very long time it seems since I have written here. Life's been busy, and the issue of 'what am i doing with my life' has come up again.
...
How is it that I come here with a lot on my mind, and yet none of it wants to escape out onto the page?
...
Maybe I'll just have to approach this one thing at a time.
1st of all,
Things are better with my roommate. I finally had time to talk to her about how much her openly visible and audible relationship with her boyfriend was bothering me and really making me feel like a bad person since I was having problems with it. We agreed on a few things that seemed very fair to both of us, and I've been sleeping better since. She also has been gone for a few days on a trip, which has also lead to the enjoyment of many cartoons, walking around in the buff, and drawing dirty comics, and very nice masturbation. :) It's nice to have a few nights alone to do as I please, especially when the full moon's been hanging around. Usually that's when I really want privacy.
2ndly,
I had a good night with my friend Ethan, where we walked, talked, laid in the grass and listened to steel guitar music, did shots of espresso, hung out at a bar and drank pop, and ate outside. :) I really do like him. I really wanted to hold his hand, lean against him, and just feel happy. I avoided looking him in the eyes too much because last night was hard. I was afraid he'd see what I was hiding. However, I know he's in an interesting spot and that there's too much preventing us from being an 'us.' So we sat in the bar and both checked out guys. Boy oh boy are our tastes different! We had to leave after awhile because I had been staring down this one guy and was afraid that Ethan would see my loneliness and longing. And... well, I was also getting way too excited just from looking. Darn you full moon!
3rdly,
I have been thinking about the rest of my life, and as scary as it seems to me right now, I think I am ready to move away from my family. I think I am ready to move out of Ohio. I think I need to grow as a person by expanding my scope but still limiting it to the states. Even though with the current economy stuff, Canada might be better. It just seems like it might be too cold for my liking. I don't know. But I'm ready for a change. I'm ready to move when lease is up and I'm out of debt. I need this. I also want to move to see if I am able to grow better as a person and as myself, my honest to goodness self, somewhere else. Who knows if the soils of other lands hold the nurturing energies I need to thrive.
4thly,
I am very grateful for Darkwing Duck and Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers lately. I have been sketching and writing because of them. Sure it's mostly slash stuff including Dale or about Darkwing and Launch Pad, but still. I can't complain. inspiration and creation are what they are. They're nice :)
So I think that's it for now, but I'm doing well. I need to post more and about the good things. :)
...
How is it that I come here with a lot on my mind, and yet none of it wants to escape out onto the page?
...
Maybe I'll just have to approach this one thing at a time.
1st of all,
Things are better with my roommate. I finally had time to talk to her about how much her openly visible and audible relationship with her boyfriend was bothering me and really making me feel like a bad person since I was having problems with it. We agreed on a few things that seemed very fair to both of us, and I've been sleeping better since. She also has been gone for a few days on a trip, which has also lead to the enjoyment of many cartoons, walking around in the buff, and drawing dirty comics, and very nice masturbation. :) It's nice to have a few nights alone to do as I please, especially when the full moon's been hanging around. Usually that's when I really want privacy.
2ndly,
I had a good night with my friend Ethan, where we walked, talked, laid in the grass and listened to steel guitar music, did shots of espresso, hung out at a bar and drank pop, and ate outside. :) I really do like him. I really wanted to hold his hand, lean against him, and just feel happy. I avoided looking him in the eyes too much because last night was hard. I was afraid he'd see what I was hiding. However, I know he's in an interesting spot and that there's too much preventing us from being an 'us.' So we sat in the bar and both checked out guys. Boy oh boy are our tastes different! We had to leave after awhile because I had been staring down this one guy and was afraid that Ethan would see my loneliness and longing. And... well, I was also getting way too excited just from looking. Darn you full moon!
3rdly,
I have been thinking about the rest of my life, and as scary as it seems to me right now, I think I am ready to move away from my family. I think I am ready to move out of Ohio. I think I need to grow as a person by expanding my scope but still limiting it to the states. Even though with the current economy stuff, Canada might be better. It just seems like it might be too cold for my liking. I don't know. But I'm ready for a change. I'm ready to move when lease is up and I'm out of debt. I need this. I also want to move to see if I am able to grow better as a person and as myself, my honest to goodness self, somewhere else. Who knows if the soils of other lands hold the nurturing energies I need to thrive.
4thly,
I am very grateful for Darkwing Duck and Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers lately. I have been sketching and writing because of them. Sure it's mostly slash stuff including Dale or about Darkwing and Launch Pad, but still. I can't complain. inspiration and creation are what they are. They're nice :)
So I think that's it for now, but I'm doing well. I need to post more and about the good things. :)