(no subject)
Dear Dean,
Whenever I do laundry, I always end up losing one of my socks. I look and I look, but I can never find it! Anything I can do about this?
(And who does the laundry? You or Sam?)
Thanks a bunch! Keep up the good work.
Lyra
Dear Lyra,
If you ask Sam, he'll tell you that all the socks in the world that go missing are actually his fault, along with global warming, good shows getting cancelled and puppies dying. Truth is, though, that Sam can't do a load of laundry to save his life. He always shrinks my jeans. Shit pisses me off.
I always safety-pin my socks together before I throw them in the wash. Sometimes those fuckers still disappear, but at least then I don't have mismatched pairs. I would also suggest checking the top of the inside of the dryer; sometimes they stick up there and disappear into the gloom.
The best method, though, is to just stop wearing socks altogether. What?
LOVE Dean