never say never

[dear_coffeecup]

you were everything i wanted
everything i wanted to hold
someone to shelter me
from the winter cold

these months pass with no ease
so i ask myself
what have you gotten yourself into
darling please

when i pray my hands are in my pockets
holding onto everything i know so well
holding onto the pills i know
that i can consume when the pain gets too much
the pills to make the suffering unable to dwell

so lift yourself up from the life you hold so dim
its killing you
its killing me
its just the one thing that holds you down
keeping you from breathing
its breaking me
and i wish you could see

i have told myself that
i wont get too involved
but my heart is a surgeon
with its hands ready to build you up
not able to let you fall

so when you kiss my lips
and whisper words so sweet
they will spill out like the drool on my pillow
travel so far down, just too fucking deep

for now im knumb
tomorrow probably the same
im keeping myself from feeling
and for that
i feel some shame