Forbidden Love Chapter 13
Title: Forbidden Love
Author: dean_itoh
Pairing/Subject: Takaki Yuya/Yamada Ryosuke
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: You know that the boys aren't mine~
Summary: Sometimes love is just to let go
He sighed heavily. He couldn’t avert his eyes from the figure in front of him. Sometimes the figure mumbled something in his sleep, but he couldn’t catch what he said.
Is loving someone will be this hurt? Why do you still love him that much even you are hurt this much?
Daiki shook his head.
I clearly can see how much your love for him. Too much until you can’t think everything clearly.
Daiki sighed heavily and touched Yamada’s feet.
“Ryosuke.”
The figure opened his eyes lazily.
“It’s almost eight. We should get going for the meeting.”
Yamada got up and stared at Daiki in silent, made Daiki’s heart beat faster than before.
No. Please not again. Please stay with me. We have an appointment at nine. Please stay with me. Don’t go to your own world again. We promised Kazama that you will come today. Please, don’t let others judge you bad. Please stay with me. You are the most reliable person so far I know, but look at you now. You can’t even want to move from your place.
Yamada scratched his neck and yawned.
“Is it today?”
Silently, Daiki breathed heavily. “Yes, it is. Come on, go get dressed.”
Yamada scratched his arm and lazily got up from the bed. Once again he yawned and closed the bathroom door.
Daiki breathed heavily dramatically and closed his eyes. He shook his head.
No. If loving somebody will be this hurt, I’d better not thinking about that thing. I don’t want to hurt someone I love. I’d rather kill myself than to hurt the one I love.
Daiki stopped moving and opened his eyes. He turned to the closed bathroom and blinked many times.
Does Takaki know that Yamada is suffering because of him?
Daiki walked to the window and opened it, feeling the Spring breeze hit his face.
What will happen if he finds that Yamada is suffering because of him?
Daiki gritted his teeth.
No. He shouldn’t know about it. If he finds that Yamada is suffering because of him, Takaki will kill himself. He will blame himself and no one will be able to save him. Takaki is Takaki. He won’t listen to anyone. He will surely kill himself.
Daiki closed his eyes once again and turned around.
Why love is so complicated?
“Dai-Chan, are you okay?”
Daiki opened his eyes and saw Yamada raised his brows at him, made him nodded many times.
“I’m fine. Are you ready? I mean, it’s okay if you don’t want to go.”
Yamada laughed. “What’s wrong with you. I’m totally fine. It is you who look so troubled. What is it?”
Daiki kept silent for a while. He observed Yamada and sighed heavily.
“Just wonder about something I really couldn’t get.”
Yamada reached his head. “And what is it?”
Daiki looked at Yamada intently, feeling the urge of yelling at Yamada that he was wondering about him, but shook his head instead.
“Nothing. Just something unnecessary.”
Yamada turned to him and furrowed his brows. “So far I know, if you are thinking until this part of yours,” Yamada pointed at the bridge of Daiki’s nose, “wrinkled, then it must be something big. The thing you’re thinking must be something very important. What is it?”
Daiki blinked many times and sighed again. “It’s about love.”
Yamada could feel his heart stopped beating for a while. He smiled and tapped Daiki’s shoulder. “And this friend of mine starts thinking about something very big.” He smiled widely now. “And who is this lucky person?”
Daiki stared at him and shook his head. “No. It’s not that. I mean ..., I’m just wondering how it feels when you love someone. You know, many times I saw people cried because of that thing, but still they fall in love. Why?”
Once again Yamada could feel his heart stopped beating for a while. He sighed heavily to ease himself before sitting on the couch.
“You know what, it’s something you can’t explain. Even I can’t explain it to you too. You will know it when you are in love with someone. You don’t need any tutorial book to understand about it. It is automatically. You will suddenly realize it when you are in love with someone. You will suddenly understand it, and that’s it. No one can explain it.”
Daiki almost stoned in his place. He felt he knew Yamada from diapers but he saw someone else in front of him right now. The person who was talking to him at the time was someone else. It wasn’t his best friend. He knew Yamada always tried to do the best in his every decision, but this part was different. He was totally different at the time.
“You’re in love with someone?”
Yamada stoned at the question and tried his best not to look surprised. He smiled and looked at Daiki. “Do you think we are allowed to do that?”
Daiki looked away.
Yes you are. It is clearly drawn all over your eyes.
“Let’s go?”
“Yeah, let’s go.”
Not much talking along the way. They just walked together in silent. Many times Daiki should pull Yamada to walk when suddenly he stopped and fell into a very deep thought.
He almost breathed heavily when he saw everyone was waiting in the lobby. Chinen suddenly stood up and pulled Yamada to the couch.
“Are you sure you’re okay now? I mean, we can find a reason if you still feel not okay.”
Yamada looked at Chinen in wonder. “What do you mean, of course I’m fine. What reason? I don’t need that?”
Chinen sighed. “You looked very tired lately. You slept more than before. It is really fine to skip when you feel not fine.”
“Again?” Yamada raised his brows and sighed. “What is happening, guys? You treat me like I’m ..., sick. Like ..., I should take more rest. Like ..., I don’t know, but I think you’re too overprotective to me. I’m fine. I’m really fine.”
Daiki and Yuto looked at each other in silent, while Inoo was just staring at Yamada with no words.
Hikaru came with papers on his hands. “I got this from the receptionist.” He read the papers and suddenly stopped moving.“Lucky unlucky?” He furrowed his brows. “Did we hear this phrase before?”
The rest of them suddenly looked at Hikaru but said nothing. They tried to remember but couldn’t find any clue.
“We’re so lucky with all the fame we’ve got, but we’re so unlucky with love. Yes, I did say it some times ago. Why?” Chinen stared at Hikaru while glancing at Yamada who was just sitting silently beside him.
Hikaru didn’t give any answer. He just showed them the papers he got. “The next song.”
No one moved for a while. They just looked at each other in silent. Threw a silent question about the phrase.
“Did someone hear us that time?”
Some of them looked at each other in horor.
“It’s okay. We didn’t talk something weird that time. We just confirming about what Takaki had thought about love.” Chinen put his hat on and reached Yamada’s hand and pulled him to the elevator.
“It’s different though.” Inoo glued his eyes to the paper. “The content of the lyric. It’s talking about something else. There’s no sign about what happened next that day. I hope.” He stared at Yabu, asked for his support but got nothing.
Yabu breathed heavily. “Okay. Let’s forget about that thing now.“ He massaged the bridge of his nose. “I feel like my heart’s going to stop any time imagining people found out about it.”
“Yamada’s fine now.” Daiki stopped and looked at the direction where the said person just disappeared. “At least he is talking now.”
No one said anything for a while.
“Come on, Kazama had waited for us since hours ago.”
“Takaki isn’t here.”
Everybody looked at Inoo and suddenly realized that Takaki wasn’t there.
“Have you called him?”
At the same time the front door opened and Takaki walked in. “Sorry, guys. Trapped in a traffic jam down town. There’s a car crash in the intersection.”
Hikaru furrowed his brows and pointed at his eyes. “What’s this?”
“Nothing.”
“You didn’t sleep last night?”
Takaki turned and walked to the elevator but said nothing. Hikaru didn’t say anything more, and only glanced at him sharply many times. Inoo just looked at the floor all the time, so ware Daiki and Yuto. While Yabu, he stared at Takaki through the small line mirror around the door of the elevator. He watched Takaki like wanted to read him, but he couldn’t. Takaki looked blank. He didn’t show any emotion on his face. He didn’t show any emotion on his gestures.
The longest fifteen seconds in their life finally reached its end. Finally the door of the elevator opened. The suffocating atmosphere in the elevator suddenly dispersed, and they walked out fast.
Everybody could see Takaki stopped for a second when he saw Yamada was sitting on the couch outside the meeting room, before walked again and took a place the farthest from Yamada. He leaned on the wall and stayed silent.
Yabu stood beside Takaki but still didn’t say anything too. He didn’t know why but he felt he must stay beside him.
Author: dean_itoh
Pairing/Subject: Takaki Yuya/Yamada Ryosuke
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: You know that the boys aren't mine~
Summary: Sometimes love is just to let go
He sighed heavily. He couldn’t avert his eyes from the figure in front of him. Sometimes the figure mumbled something in his sleep, but he couldn’t catch what he said.
Is loving someone will be this hurt? Why do you still love him that much even you are hurt this much?
Daiki shook his head.
I clearly can see how much your love for him. Too much until you can’t think everything clearly.
Daiki sighed heavily and touched Yamada’s feet.
“Ryosuke.”
The figure opened his eyes lazily.
“It’s almost eight. We should get going for the meeting.”
Yamada got up and stared at Daiki in silent, made Daiki’s heart beat faster than before.
No. Please not again. Please stay with me. We have an appointment at nine. Please stay with me. Don’t go to your own world again. We promised Kazama that you will come today. Please, don’t let others judge you bad. Please stay with me. You are the most reliable person so far I know, but look at you now. You can’t even want to move from your place.
Yamada scratched his neck and yawned.
“Is it today?”
Silently, Daiki breathed heavily. “Yes, it is. Come on, go get dressed.”
Yamada scratched his arm and lazily got up from the bed. Once again he yawned and closed the bathroom door.
Daiki breathed heavily dramatically and closed his eyes. He shook his head.
No. If loving somebody will be this hurt, I’d better not thinking about that thing. I don’t want to hurt someone I love. I’d rather kill myself than to hurt the one I love.
Daiki stopped moving and opened his eyes. He turned to the closed bathroom and blinked many times.
Does Takaki know that Yamada is suffering because of him?
Daiki walked to the window and opened it, feeling the Spring breeze hit his face.
What will happen if he finds that Yamada is suffering because of him?
Daiki gritted his teeth.
No. He shouldn’t know about it. If he finds that Yamada is suffering because of him, Takaki will kill himself. He will blame himself and no one will be able to save him. Takaki is Takaki. He won’t listen to anyone. He will surely kill himself.
Daiki closed his eyes once again and turned around.
Why love is so complicated?
“Dai-Chan, are you okay?”
Daiki opened his eyes and saw Yamada raised his brows at him, made him nodded many times.
“I’m fine. Are you ready? I mean, it’s okay if you don’t want to go.”
Yamada laughed. “What’s wrong with you. I’m totally fine. It is you who look so troubled. What is it?”
Daiki kept silent for a while. He observed Yamada and sighed heavily.
“Just wonder about something I really couldn’t get.”
Yamada reached his head. “And what is it?”
Daiki looked at Yamada intently, feeling the urge of yelling at Yamada that he was wondering about him, but shook his head instead.
“Nothing. Just something unnecessary.”
Yamada turned to him and furrowed his brows. “So far I know, if you are thinking until this part of yours,” Yamada pointed at the bridge of Daiki’s nose, “wrinkled, then it must be something big. The thing you’re thinking must be something very important. What is it?”
Daiki blinked many times and sighed again. “It’s about love.”
Yamada could feel his heart stopped beating for a while. He smiled and tapped Daiki’s shoulder. “And this friend of mine starts thinking about something very big.” He smiled widely now. “And who is this lucky person?”
Daiki stared at him and shook his head. “No. It’s not that. I mean ..., I’m just wondering how it feels when you love someone. You know, many times I saw people cried because of that thing, but still they fall in love. Why?”
Once again Yamada could feel his heart stopped beating for a while. He sighed heavily to ease himself before sitting on the couch.
“You know what, it’s something you can’t explain. Even I can’t explain it to you too. You will know it when you are in love with someone. You don’t need any tutorial book to understand about it. It is automatically. You will suddenly realize it when you are in love with someone. You will suddenly understand it, and that’s it. No one can explain it.”
Daiki almost stoned in his place. He felt he knew Yamada from diapers but he saw someone else in front of him right now. The person who was talking to him at the time was someone else. It wasn’t his best friend. He knew Yamada always tried to do the best in his every decision, but this part was different. He was totally different at the time.
“You’re in love with someone?”
Yamada stoned at the question and tried his best not to look surprised. He smiled and looked at Daiki. “Do you think we are allowed to do that?”
Daiki looked away.
Yes you are. It is clearly drawn all over your eyes.
“Let’s go?”
“Yeah, let’s go.”
Not much talking along the way. They just walked together in silent. Many times Daiki should pull Yamada to walk when suddenly he stopped and fell into a very deep thought.
He almost breathed heavily when he saw everyone was waiting in the lobby. Chinen suddenly stood up and pulled Yamada to the couch.
“Are you sure you’re okay now? I mean, we can find a reason if you still feel not okay.”
Yamada looked at Chinen in wonder. “What do you mean, of course I’m fine. What reason? I don’t need that?”
Chinen sighed. “You looked very tired lately. You slept more than before. It is really fine to skip when you feel not fine.”
“Again?” Yamada raised his brows and sighed. “What is happening, guys? You treat me like I’m ..., sick. Like ..., I should take more rest. Like ..., I don’t know, but I think you’re too overprotective to me. I’m fine. I’m really fine.”
Daiki and Yuto looked at each other in silent, while Inoo was just staring at Yamada with no words.
Hikaru came with papers on his hands. “I got this from the receptionist.” He read the papers and suddenly stopped moving.“Lucky unlucky?” He furrowed his brows. “Did we hear this phrase before?”
The rest of them suddenly looked at Hikaru but said nothing. They tried to remember but couldn’t find any clue.
“We’re so lucky with all the fame we’ve got, but we’re so unlucky with love. Yes, I did say it some times ago. Why?” Chinen stared at Hikaru while glancing at Yamada who was just sitting silently beside him.
Hikaru didn’t give any answer. He just showed them the papers he got. “The next song.”
No one moved for a while. They just looked at each other in silent. Threw a silent question about the phrase.
“Did someone hear us that time?”
Some of them looked at each other in horor.
“It’s okay. We didn’t talk something weird that time. We just confirming about what Takaki had thought about love.” Chinen put his hat on and reached Yamada’s hand and pulled him to the elevator.
“It’s different though.” Inoo glued his eyes to the paper. “The content of the lyric. It’s talking about something else. There’s no sign about what happened next that day. I hope.” He stared at Yabu, asked for his support but got nothing.
Yabu breathed heavily. “Okay. Let’s forget about that thing now.“ He massaged the bridge of his nose. “I feel like my heart’s going to stop any time imagining people found out about it.”
“Yamada’s fine now.” Daiki stopped and looked at the direction where the said person just disappeared. “At least he is talking now.”
No one said anything for a while.
“Come on, Kazama had waited for us since hours ago.”
“Takaki isn’t here.”
Everybody looked at Inoo and suddenly realized that Takaki wasn’t there.
“Have you called him?”
At the same time the front door opened and Takaki walked in. “Sorry, guys. Trapped in a traffic jam down town. There’s a car crash in the intersection.”
Hikaru furrowed his brows and pointed at his eyes. “What’s this?”
“Nothing.”
“You didn’t sleep last night?”
Takaki turned and walked to the elevator but said nothing. Hikaru didn’t say anything more, and only glanced at him sharply many times. Inoo just looked at the floor all the time, so ware Daiki and Yuto. While Yabu, he stared at Takaki through the small line mirror around the door of the elevator. He watched Takaki like wanted to read him, but he couldn’t. Takaki looked blank. He didn’t show any emotion on his face. He didn’t show any emotion on his gestures.
The longest fifteen seconds in their life finally reached its end. Finally the door of the elevator opened. The suffocating atmosphere in the elevator suddenly dispersed, and they walked out fast.
Everybody could see Takaki stopped for a second when he saw Yamada was sitting on the couch outside the meeting room, before walked again and took a place the farthest from Yamada. He leaned on the wall and stayed silent.
Yabu stood beside Takaki but still didn’t say anything too. He didn’t know why but he felt he must stay beside him.