Forbidden Love
Title: Forbidden Love
Author: dean_itoh
Pairing/Subject: Takaki Yuya/Yamada Ryosuke
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: You know that the boys aren't mine~
Summary: Sometimes love is just to let go
The rain poured down heavily so sudden. Takaki stopped his car and just gripped the steer. He didn’t move. He just stared to the wet road in front of him. The drops of the rain on the bumper of his car hypnotized him, invited him to join them.
He opened the door and walked out of the car. He looked up to the sky and let the raindrops touched his face. He closed his eyes.
You cried.
Again.
Once again I hurt you.
Do I really love you?
Why I hurt you again and again?
I wonder how big your love for me is, so you stand still beside me even I hurt you so many times.
So many times until I forgot how many times you cried because of me.
Because of me.
Because of me you suffered.
Because of me you cried a lot.
The tears streamed down his cheeks. He didn’t try to wipe them. He let them drop, wishing that together with them, his hurt would go less.
I love you too, but the world will turn to hate you when they know about us. I have to let you go so you will be happy.
I’m fine.
Let me disappear from you.
Let me just go far away from you.
Then slowly you will forget about me.
Takaki looked at his feet and clutched his chest.
But it’s too hard for me to erase you from my mind.
It is too hurt to let you go.
Takaki looked up to the dark sky again, and let the rain fell onto his face. He stretched his arms and got himself ready to embrace the rain.
“I love you”
He mumbled the words on and on.
He opened his eyes when he didn’t the rain on his body. He saw the rain was still pouring down but they didn’t touch him. He turned and found Inoo was staring at him while holding an umbrella to protect him from the rain.
“Drenching yourself in rain won’t solve any problem you face.”
Takaki looked away but didn’t say anything.
Inoo reached for his arm and almost dragged him to his car. He shoved him to the passenger seat and helped him with the seat belt, and smiled to him.
“Let’s go home.”
He went to Takaki’s car and took the key. He sighed heavily before went back to his car and took Takaki to his home.
Inoo whistled lightly when they entered Takaki’s apartment. “I still can’t believe that you do all the chores. Even Yabu can’t do the cleaning himself after years living alone.” He entered the bathroom and went back with the towel. “You’d better change those clothes, or you prefer to make your sofa wet.”
Takaki didn’t even give a respond. He just stood there, in the middle of his living room and didn’t move. Inoo sighed heavily and walked to Takaki’s room. He went back with dry clothes and like a mother, he helped Takaki to change.
Takaki still didn’t say anything. He just sat silently on the sofa, hiding his face under the towel that enveloped his head. He didn’t say anything, more like didn’t want to do it. He heard Inoo turned on the stove and few minutes later a glass of hot chocolate was offered to him.
“I will cook for you if you want.”
Takaki suddenly straightened his body and turned to him.
“Please, no.”
Inoo looked at him and sighed heavily. “You’re still underestimating me. I won’t burn your kitchen, trust me.”
Takaki didn’t say anything more. He just shook his head weakly.
Inoo didn’t argue more. He sat beside him and caressed his back. “Want to say something?”
Takaki didn’t respond. He didn’t even move. He just held the glass with his two hands in silent. The hot chocolate was too tempting actually but he had lost his appetite.
Inoo took a glance and sighed again when he got no respond. “I mean, you look very tired. Of something. If you want to tell me, I can keep secret. You know you can trust me.”
Takaki closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Nothing. There’s nothing I can tell you. I’m just ... tired.”
Inoo pursed his lips, almost disappointed with his rejection. “Don’t you want to share something with me? I mean ..., you know ..., we are so close now. I want to know something about you. I want to share some secrets with you, like you did with Chinen years ago, like you did with Yamada lately.”
Takaki opened his eyes so sudden. He didn’t blink for a while. He tried hard to digest about what Inoo just said, but didn’t say anything.
Inoo could feel the tense. He bit his lower lip and tried hard not to dig more than that.
“Just a little secret about a cheap cafe we can visit next time, I’m fine with it. You did that with Yamada, right?”
Takaki closed his eyes again, and slowly breathed heavily, feeling so grateful that Inoo didn’t say he feared.
“Ah, you’re still close with Chinen too now, aren’t you? You know exactly what to do when he was sick. What exactly happened? Why should you bring him to the hospital? Is it that bad until you rushed to the hospital?”
Takaki sighed and stood up. He opened the curtain and stared at the heavy rain outside. “When he was thinking too much, his stomach will rebel. It happened many times in the past, especially around the debut, and I guess he was thinking too much lately too until he got the attack again. I don’t know what he’s thinking now until he got it again.”
Inoo stared at him in silent. “He is thinking about you. We are thinking about you. We want to help you but don’t know what to do.”
Takaki turned around and looked down to the glass in his hand. “I can’t read his mind now.”
“Oh.” Inoo nodded many times. He lifted his feet and folded on the sofa. He curled up on the sofa. “I’m so envy. You have persons you can share something.”
Takaki almost stunned in his place. Inoo looked so fragile. He looked so lonely. He leaned on the wall and sipped his chocolate.
“You have Yabu, and Yaotome. They’re close with you, aren’t they?”
Inoo sighed. “But sometimes I feel like I’m just the third wheel. Sometimes I feel I’m just an intruder. They’ve been so close even before we were formed.”
Takaki looked at Inoo intently. Deep inside him he could feel a sudden guilty feeling. He bit his lower lip and turned away. He touched the glass window, and almost could feel the pounding when the rain slapped the window.
Is this how you feel all the times? Are you this lonely? How long? I don’t know that you carried the feeling inside you because I always see you enjoying all the times we’ve shared together. I always see you get along with everybody. I don’t know that you are this lonely.
He turned around and stopped when he saw Inoo was closing his eyes. He walked and touched his arm and saw the steady breathe. He smiled lightly and shook his head.
How could you act like nothing is happened when you feel the other way? You should show your true feeling so the other will know.
Takaki stunned and suddenly gulped. He blinked many times and turned around.
I should say the words to myself. I hide a big secret and don’t tell them about it. We hide a very big secret.
Takaki turned again to Inoo and breathed heavily.
But if I tell you about my secret, would you still want to be my friend? Would you still want to joke around like you always did? Would you still want to talk to me like I’m a normal?
Takaki sighed heavily.
I’m not normal. I’m different, and I know you will hate me when you find out about the truth. The truth that I will be the one who destroy us? The one that will bring you down if they found out about me?
Author: dean_itoh
Pairing/Subject: Takaki Yuya/Yamada Ryosuke
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: You know that the boys aren't mine~
Summary: Sometimes love is just to let go
The rain poured down heavily so sudden. Takaki stopped his car and just gripped the steer. He didn’t move. He just stared to the wet road in front of him. The drops of the rain on the bumper of his car hypnotized him, invited him to join them.
He opened the door and walked out of the car. He looked up to the sky and let the raindrops touched his face. He closed his eyes.
You cried.
Again.
Once again I hurt you.
Do I really love you?
Why I hurt you again and again?
I wonder how big your love for me is, so you stand still beside me even I hurt you so many times.
So many times until I forgot how many times you cried because of me.
Because of me.
Because of me you suffered.
Because of me you cried a lot.
The tears streamed down his cheeks. He didn’t try to wipe them. He let them drop, wishing that together with them, his hurt would go less.
I love you too, but the world will turn to hate you when they know about us. I have to let you go so you will be happy.
I’m fine.
Let me disappear from you.
Let me just go far away from you.
Then slowly you will forget about me.
Takaki looked at his feet and clutched his chest.
But it’s too hard for me to erase you from my mind.
It is too hurt to let you go.
Takaki looked up to the dark sky again, and let the rain fell onto his face. He stretched his arms and got himself ready to embrace the rain.
“I love you”
He mumbled the words on and on.
He opened his eyes when he didn’t the rain on his body. He saw the rain was still pouring down but they didn’t touch him. He turned and found Inoo was staring at him while holding an umbrella to protect him from the rain.
“Drenching yourself in rain won’t solve any problem you face.”
Takaki looked away but didn’t say anything.
Inoo reached for his arm and almost dragged him to his car. He shoved him to the passenger seat and helped him with the seat belt, and smiled to him.
“Let’s go home.”
He went to Takaki’s car and took the key. He sighed heavily before went back to his car and took Takaki to his home.
Inoo whistled lightly when they entered Takaki’s apartment. “I still can’t believe that you do all the chores. Even Yabu can’t do the cleaning himself after years living alone.” He entered the bathroom and went back with the towel. “You’d better change those clothes, or you prefer to make your sofa wet.”
Takaki didn’t even give a respond. He just stood there, in the middle of his living room and didn’t move. Inoo sighed heavily and walked to Takaki’s room. He went back with dry clothes and like a mother, he helped Takaki to change.
Takaki still didn’t say anything. He just sat silently on the sofa, hiding his face under the towel that enveloped his head. He didn’t say anything, more like didn’t want to do it. He heard Inoo turned on the stove and few minutes later a glass of hot chocolate was offered to him.
“I will cook for you if you want.”
Takaki suddenly straightened his body and turned to him.
“Please, no.”
Inoo looked at him and sighed heavily. “You’re still underestimating me. I won’t burn your kitchen, trust me.”
Takaki didn’t say anything more. He just shook his head weakly.
Inoo didn’t argue more. He sat beside him and caressed his back. “Want to say something?”
Takaki didn’t respond. He didn’t even move. He just held the glass with his two hands in silent. The hot chocolate was too tempting actually but he had lost his appetite.
Inoo took a glance and sighed again when he got no respond. “I mean, you look very tired. Of something. If you want to tell me, I can keep secret. You know you can trust me.”
Takaki closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Nothing. There’s nothing I can tell you. I’m just ... tired.”
Inoo pursed his lips, almost disappointed with his rejection. “Don’t you want to share something with me? I mean ..., you know ..., we are so close now. I want to know something about you. I want to share some secrets with you, like you did with Chinen years ago, like you did with Yamada lately.”
Takaki opened his eyes so sudden. He didn’t blink for a while. He tried hard to digest about what Inoo just said, but didn’t say anything.
Inoo could feel the tense. He bit his lower lip and tried hard not to dig more than that.
“Just a little secret about a cheap cafe we can visit next time, I’m fine with it. You did that with Yamada, right?”
Takaki closed his eyes again, and slowly breathed heavily, feeling so grateful that Inoo didn’t say he feared.
“Ah, you’re still close with Chinen too now, aren’t you? You know exactly what to do when he was sick. What exactly happened? Why should you bring him to the hospital? Is it that bad until you rushed to the hospital?”
Takaki sighed and stood up. He opened the curtain and stared at the heavy rain outside. “When he was thinking too much, his stomach will rebel. It happened many times in the past, especially around the debut, and I guess he was thinking too much lately too until he got the attack again. I don’t know what he’s thinking now until he got it again.”
Inoo stared at him in silent. “He is thinking about you. We are thinking about you. We want to help you but don’t know what to do.”
Takaki turned around and looked down to the glass in his hand. “I can’t read his mind now.”
“Oh.” Inoo nodded many times. He lifted his feet and folded on the sofa. He curled up on the sofa. “I’m so envy. You have persons you can share something.”
Takaki almost stunned in his place. Inoo looked so fragile. He looked so lonely. He leaned on the wall and sipped his chocolate.
“You have Yabu, and Yaotome. They’re close with you, aren’t they?”
Inoo sighed. “But sometimes I feel like I’m just the third wheel. Sometimes I feel I’m just an intruder. They’ve been so close even before we were formed.”
Takaki looked at Inoo intently. Deep inside him he could feel a sudden guilty feeling. He bit his lower lip and turned away. He touched the glass window, and almost could feel the pounding when the rain slapped the window.
Is this how you feel all the times? Are you this lonely? How long? I don’t know that you carried the feeling inside you because I always see you enjoying all the times we’ve shared together. I always see you get along with everybody. I don’t know that you are this lonely.
He turned around and stopped when he saw Inoo was closing his eyes. He walked and touched his arm and saw the steady breathe. He smiled lightly and shook his head.
How could you act like nothing is happened when you feel the other way? You should show your true feeling so the other will know.
Takaki stunned and suddenly gulped. He blinked many times and turned around.
I should say the words to myself. I hide a big secret and don’t tell them about it. We hide a very big secret.
Takaki turned again to Inoo and breathed heavily.
But if I tell you about my secret, would you still want to be my friend? Would you still want to joke around like you always did? Would you still want to talk to me like I’m a normal?
Takaki sighed heavily.
I’m not normal. I’m different, and I know you will hate me when you find out about the truth. The truth that I will be the one who destroy us? The one that will bring you down if they found out about me?