dreaming to make believe
how do u get someone outta ur mind? how do u get someone outta ur heart would be a better question.. its funny how one person can get under ur skin and be the reason for the way u feel an act in so many different things and ways.. i hate the way i love this person, its surely true and real so much that its unconditional love... nomatter how many bad things this person does to me i cant stop loving them... i talk to people about what i wish i could do and how i will push this person out, but its just me dreaming and fantasizing... maybe im just really weak... maybe i like getting stepped on by them... i know i am weak atleast they're my weakness. i imagine myself sitting in front of them an telling them how much they hurt me and how much of a thief an a liar they're, but the moment i see them every bad feeling and everything i want to say goes away... i love being with them... i love the person they are most of the time... i just hate the person that they are when im not around... maybe the love i have for them makes me blind to who they really are and deaf to what others say about them... i just wish it was easy... i wish i could let go and move on.. i wish someone would love and care for me the way i love and care for them, but someone i would feel the same about too..
what i feel about this person is something i have never felt before.. what i do for this person is stuff i have never done for anyone else.... i remember the night i met this person i remember every single detail.. i remember all the good times we had together and all the things we did... i remember knowing with all i am that this person loved me so much and cared so much... i remember being the happiest and feeling so alive when they were around, those days are gone now.... sure i am happy and have a good time there are still laughs an smiles.... but inside lately im screaming at times too and imagining packing all my stuff and walking out the door and not looking back... lately i have been on the verge of saying i hate you, but i choke and cant say it.. maybe cuz i dont hate them just wish i did... i know i derserve better.. but i cant stop thinking about them, and maybe i am waiting for them to change and think its possible.... but maybe im just wasting my time waiting for that day and thinking that its possible... i just miss that person i once knew or thought i knew, but that person died....
i wish i could let u go.. im so tired of waiting for that day... im so tired of wishing... im so tired of fantasizing.. im so tired of dreaming of it.. im so tired of loving you...
what i feel about this person is something i have never felt before.. what i do for this person is stuff i have never done for anyone else.... i remember the night i met this person i remember every single detail.. i remember all the good times we had together and all the things we did... i remember knowing with all i am that this person loved me so much and cared so much... i remember being the happiest and feeling so alive when they were around, those days are gone now.... sure i am happy and have a good time there are still laughs an smiles.... but inside lately im screaming at times too and imagining packing all my stuff and walking out the door and not looking back... lately i have been on the verge of saying i hate you, but i choke and cant say it.. maybe cuz i dont hate them just wish i did... i know i derserve better.. but i cant stop thinking about them, and maybe i am waiting for them to change and think its possible.... but maybe im just wasting my time waiting for that day and thinking that its possible... i just miss that person i once knew or thought i knew, but that person died....
i wish i could let u go.. im so tired of waiting for that day... im so tired of wishing... im so tired of fantasizing.. im so tired of dreaming of it.. im so tired of loving you...