Byron agreed to go out for a surf to ride some waves and settle our differences. Don't think he quite gets it, though. Kept diving off the board and I was like: "Byron, that's not how you surf. You're supposed to stand on the board." He just called me a twat, and said if I didn't want to get wet, why did I come out? Then he beat me up. But I let ( Read more... )

It's ABORIGINAL, you cunt.

Dear Byron ( Read more... )

There's an old Australian cockney, lying, dying,
and he gets himself up on one elbow,
and he turns to his mates,
who are gathered 'round him and he says:

*cough* shitWatch me nightingales sing mate ( Read more... )

Just been surfing. Would write an ode to the surf but everyone's too square to understand. Saw nice urn though, might write one on that. If I pretend it's classical maybe the pretentious poets of cuntland will read it. I want a kebab. Actually, Shelley's pretty cool for a posh boy but I could take Byron in a fight. The nancy.