enchalada baby
have you ever woke up and couldn't breathe. ever went somewhere and thought that you were lost and everyone is staring. ever felt like you were being ignored.
things are doing really good with luis and i.. he calls it being in "madly in love". i call it confusing and something to do with my time left. if you are wondering he doesn't know i am sick. maybe that is unfair. but why tell him, he'll leave me and then i won't be able to breathe. yes i do love him i really do, but i've always been difficult to get close to nad let go of. he is getting pretty serious bought a ring and everything... got sober. so proud of him. he is so beautiful no matter how confused he can get and scared he knows that i am here for him i have been for the past 7 months more than anyone else in his life excluding his family. all his friends left him or he had to leave them... i do think about brittany occasionaly. him and i talk about her. he doesn't talk bad about her and neither do i think she is sweet when i knew her. i think it was wrong how he left her. and how he treated her and lied to her. i guess that it what a rebound is. but i liked her i wish would just understand.. he left her for the right reasons. no one can tame luis like i have not even jaque did. no one knows this feeling that we share. i think he feels stronger than i do. i feel bad sometimes. but hey what is wrong with being scared. i shouldn't be him and i have been through things that you couldn't imagine. we are leaving together soon. hope this works. cause what do i have to fall back on then. im done with high school. threw all my friends away to be completely devoted to luis and help him through the problems he is having. but he is one of the only friends i need in el paso. my other one is in the air force. and the other friendships have long since died and faded. trust me i still think of them a lot. and i look at the photos. all the time.
went fishing by the way with my family and luis.... absolute bliss. he is so beautiful and he thinks i am crazy/beautiful... he told me yesterday that he finally took a good look at me and said i was beautiful it took 7 months to say that and 5 days to say he loved me. ironic.
well i better go and hey i don't sleep...
things are doing really good with luis and i.. he calls it being in "madly in love". i call it confusing and something to do with my time left. if you are wondering he doesn't know i am sick. maybe that is unfair. but why tell him, he'll leave me and then i won't be able to breathe. yes i do love him i really do, but i've always been difficult to get close to nad let go of. he is getting pretty serious bought a ring and everything... got sober. so proud of him. he is so beautiful no matter how confused he can get and scared he knows that i am here for him i have been for the past 7 months more than anyone else in his life excluding his family. all his friends left him or he had to leave them... i do think about brittany occasionaly. him and i talk about her. he doesn't talk bad about her and neither do i think she is sweet when i knew her. i think it was wrong how he left her. and how he treated her and lied to her. i guess that it what a rebound is. but i liked her i wish would just understand.. he left her for the right reasons. no one can tame luis like i have not even jaque did. no one knows this feeling that we share. i think he feels stronger than i do. i feel bad sometimes. but hey what is wrong with being scared. i shouldn't be him and i have been through things that you couldn't imagine. we are leaving together soon. hope this works. cause what do i have to fall back on then. im done with high school. threw all my friends away to be completely devoted to luis and help him through the problems he is having. but he is one of the only friends i need in el paso. my other one is in the air force. and the other friendships have long since died and faded. trust me i still think of them a lot. and i look at the photos. all the time.
went fishing by the way with my family and luis.... absolute bliss. he is so beautiful and he thinks i am crazy/beautiful... he told me yesterday that he finally took a good look at me and said i was beautiful it took 7 months to say that and 5 days to say he loved me. ironic.
well i better go and hey i don't sleep...