before the end of the night, before i close my eyes, say you want me. I"M STILL SMILING
Pull that tree close and give me the rope.
good byes always get me choked up. you are right. the irony is before i read my comments i read joes journal and then i commented to his, then i looked on mine. and well hello there. joe commented. and you think some people just drop off the face of the earth. and then they pop up...
well i was used by luis, will says i am so beautiful and kind and inside hurting. why do you give him all you have, kindra? my response. i love him..
what kind of excuse is that? he called the last fuck a 'fuck'. what a typical guy. i wouldn't mind just fucking him but still care about him. i had this dream that i was going to be picking him up off of the floor from an od i warned him about. i told him and he gave me one of his empty promises >>>>that it was all okay. ITS NOT OKAY> YOU WEIGH 130.. my dear. you look sick and you're poor.
and he looks down on me for being sober, going to church, working 3 jobs and finishing school. well look again whose the loser? the loser is the one i love and can't remember why?
will says i give too much love and i should give hard love and he'll change. but that isn't love to me. i am not going give something that isn't me. that wont make me happy. well then again what am i now? not happy. but i can plaster this big smile on and walk tall...
i have a warrant. maybe i shouldn't post that.... enemies, giving them ideas.... anyways it's for 404$. dont know how i am going to pay for rent.. or insurance...
and i just spent 100$ yesterday before work on clothes. i got 2 of the cutest pair of pants, 3 adorable shirts, pink, black, and khaki, earrings, and a cute green heart belt. i dont care i feel cute. and i look cute. i will just stay out of the way of the cops...
i was used...
air force, i am not cutting my hair.
!!!!!!
ignorance is bliss. me pretending to be happy and confident maybe give someone the confidence that i pretend to have. i try you got to give me that...
i have asked people what vibe they get from me.... i get over and over again. i come off as i dont give a fuck, and i make people feel stupid when i talk to them, like dumb. well is it the truth i think not. i do care. more than anypne will ever know...
i saw a girl at work yesterday with her boyfriend. she mentioned that she liked this movie and her boyfriend said i dont give a fuck and she had this face that it seemed like the world stopped. but she smiled and asked what he wanted. and then paid for it and he made her walk behind him and didnt even wait for to get in the car before he drove off. he it looked like me. so is she happy?
how can you say you love someone but sit there and hurt them? then feel bad and think that your diddly little apology will suffice and make it better... well mr. you're right it will work with me. i see my faults so why can't i just stand up and say no. i won't and you cant do that? why.
LOVE IS BLIND it is so true.
but hey look at this smile it is all okay.
i have a date with the city bus today and then later a date with the bacardi... its going to be a long night....
i'm finished. i finished school. and i am alive. breathing and kicking ready for another round
good byes always get me choked up. you are right. the irony is before i read my comments i read joes journal and then i commented to his, then i looked on mine. and well hello there. joe commented. and you think some people just drop off the face of the earth. and then they pop up...
well i was used by luis, will says i am so beautiful and kind and inside hurting. why do you give him all you have, kindra? my response. i love him..
what kind of excuse is that? he called the last fuck a 'fuck'. what a typical guy. i wouldn't mind just fucking him but still care about him. i had this dream that i was going to be picking him up off of the floor from an od i warned him about. i told him and he gave me one of his empty promises >>>>that it was all okay. ITS NOT OKAY> YOU WEIGH 130.. my dear. you look sick and you're poor.
and he looks down on me for being sober, going to church, working 3 jobs and finishing school. well look again whose the loser? the loser is the one i love and can't remember why?
will says i give too much love and i should give hard love and he'll change. but that isn't love to me. i am not going give something that isn't me. that wont make me happy. well then again what am i now? not happy. but i can plaster this big smile on and walk tall...
i have a warrant. maybe i shouldn't post that.... enemies, giving them ideas.... anyways it's for 404$. dont know how i am going to pay for rent.. or insurance...
and i just spent 100$ yesterday before work on clothes. i got 2 of the cutest pair of pants, 3 adorable shirts, pink, black, and khaki, earrings, and a cute green heart belt. i dont care i feel cute. and i look cute. i will just stay out of the way of the cops...
i was used...
air force, i am not cutting my hair.
!!!!!!
ignorance is bliss. me pretending to be happy and confident maybe give someone the confidence that i pretend to have. i try you got to give me that...
i have asked people what vibe they get from me.... i get over and over again. i come off as i dont give a fuck, and i make people feel stupid when i talk to them, like dumb. well is it the truth i think not. i do care. more than anypne will ever know...
i saw a girl at work yesterday with her boyfriend. she mentioned that she liked this movie and her boyfriend said i dont give a fuck and she had this face that it seemed like the world stopped. but she smiled and asked what he wanted. and then paid for it and he made her walk behind him and didnt even wait for to get in the car before he drove off. he it looked like me. so is she happy?
how can you say you love someone but sit there and hurt them? then feel bad and think that your diddly little apology will suffice and make it better... well mr. you're right it will work with me. i see my faults so why can't i just stand up and say no. i won't and you cant do that? why.
LOVE IS BLIND it is so true.
but hey look at this smile it is all okay.
i have a date with the city bus today and then later a date with the bacardi... its going to be a long night....
i'm finished. i finished school. and i am alive. breathing and kicking ready for another round