A bullet for every panda that won't screw to save its species
Phil, the only person who has yet read this "journal" thingie (well, I assume he read it, he probably just put up the gay pictures, giggled, and closed the thing) told me that this was "Too damned long!" and I should, like, write less. Well... I know, simpler is better and all that, but the whole point of this is to write a ton of shit. Because I'm not the kind of person who sits around watching TV and doesn't really have anything to say except a bunch of opinions about how stupid the world is and how everyone is big. I'm the kind of person who is quiet all day, doesn't say a word besides "Where's the cheese?" all day besides a couple of two hour long phone conversations and the entire day spent talking to people while listening to music... well... I guess that is a lot but... whatever. I write long ass bitchy e-mails to people telling them how much I love them and all it does is freak them out, they think I'm more attached to them than they are to me or something... but thats not what I mean, man... I love you! But not like I want to marry you or something crazy. "I love you" means I'll listen to you when you whine about how stupid the world is. I love you means I'll remember your birthday. It means I'll save you the trouble of finding a long ass e-mail that you feel obligated to respond to. See, this isn't personal. This isn't to you (though it would end up in your mail box) and you don't have to respond to it. Cool, huh? Yeah...
But what the fuck is there to write about when its not to a person? I can't say oh well I hope you have a great day at school tomorrow... well I guess I can... DO IT! Hmm... but guess what? I don't have school tomorrow. Thats soooo cool! You wanna know whats up in my life right now? Huh? Do ya?
Okay... I guess.
I'm living in Nat purgatory. Imagine this... you wake up whenever the fuck you want, you go to sleep whenever the fuck you want, you have no obligations to be anywhere or do anything at all. All day. You have great food, you have an awesome family, and you aren't in prison. Sound a little too good to be true? IT IS! Trouble in paradise? Its like... watching that stupid Tom Hanks movie... remember how unhappy he was on that island? What was wrong with him? That looked FUN! I'd have an awesome week on that island! Just give me my friends and we'd LIVE! That would be the SHIT! But... oh. He doesn't have any friends. AND SEE THATS MY POINT! I'm fuckin... friendless. No one stops by and says hey is Nathanael around? We're going to go play jump rope. NOTHING! No one knows me! I don't exist according to everyone within 3 hours in a radius. So... what? So there aren't any responsibilities. And where does that leave me? Not bored with nothing to do, it leaves me with a bunch of stuff I want to do... stories, screenplays, songs, albums, projects.... all unfinished. And why? Because I could do them anytime. There are no due dates, so nothing gets done. I've been working on my GREAT story for 7 years now. And how many pages to I have, you ask? 50. And they aren't even good pages. I have the complete story in my mind, the main character finally realizes that he is the bad guy and that the villian, his rival, is the good guy, and he gives it up, making them both good. BECAUSE THEY'RE BOTH HIM! AHAHAHA! I'm crazy.
Thats why I didn't write in this thingie last night, because I was CRAZY! I mean... loony out of daffy. Who is cooler, Daffy or Donald? I think Daffy because theres one cartoon I have where he takes on the Nazis and wins. Thats a cool duck right there. But seriously, if I talked to you yesterday, I was cracked wasn't I? Aww, Shayna left... there goes my last buddy...
Yeah, I was, wow... people would talk to me and I would say "WHAT? YOU'RE CRAZY!" and... I meant it. I thought there was a full moon or something. Maybe there was, maybe we were all crazy. I wanted to put a bullet between the eyes of every panda that wouldn't screw to save it species.
I think I'll dedicate every journal entry to a friend. This one goes to Kim.
Kymberli! For those of you don't know her, Kim is a girl I met about a month ago, and from the moment I came within five feet of her I knew her. The window was tinted, but I stared right at her without seeing her and I was like... wow. She rolled down the window and I was like, yeah, thats her. We talked about Donnie Darko and it was like we'd been friends for years. I walked along a path along the creek at my pace, and nervous Abe and Tall Chick walked off with their long legs all snobby like but Kim stayed back to keep me company cause she's cool like that... and I was like... nah, this is probably just like with my good ol' fan where at first I thought we had so much in common but later I realized she just kinda went along with whatever I said to make it seem like she was who I wanted her to be... and then I was like, be real, and she was different, not really, because she was the same person but... weird. But Kim, no, she's weird. And heres why: She's like me. Yeah, like, if I switched minds with her, you probably wouldn't notice. In fact, I could probably do that because we are so alike... I always wondered what it would be like being different people, Freaky Friday style, but, with her, I don't wonder. Its like I did. Except she's a cooler version of me.
Heres whats weird about her: She's stress-free. Like, you could put her in the middle of the street in New York with taxis honking all around her and she'd simply blink, then look at the pretty buildings. That, and she doesn't get moody. You could stay at her house, beat her in her favorite game, eat her food, keep her up all night and the next day she'd still be happy and have a smile on her face. (Hypothetically, of course... not like I would do that!) In truth, I don't think I'm half as cool as she is, I only say we are the same because I wish it. But, either way, three cheers of Kim! She is proof that my list for a girl is not completely unrealistic. Maybe its possible Nate will one day find a girl he likes that will like him back. Kim gives him hope. Hurray for Kim!
Sometimes I think I really should have a point before I start typing, but thats not my style. Even though I don't think I learned anything in writing this, it kind of gave me a perspective on things.....
I'm not crazy!
(Hows that for short, Phil?)
But what the fuck is there to write about when its not to a person? I can't say oh well I hope you have a great day at school tomorrow... well I guess I can... DO IT! Hmm... but guess what? I don't have school tomorrow. Thats soooo cool! You wanna know whats up in my life right now? Huh? Do ya?
Okay... I guess.
I'm living in Nat purgatory. Imagine this... you wake up whenever the fuck you want, you go to sleep whenever the fuck you want, you have no obligations to be anywhere or do anything at all. All day. You have great food, you have an awesome family, and you aren't in prison. Sound a little too good to be true? IT IS! Trouble in paradise? Its like... watching that stupid Tom Hanks movie... remember how unhappy he was on that island? What was wrong with him? That looked FUN! I'd have an awesome week on that island! Just give me my friends and we'd LIVE! That would be the SHIT! But... oh. He doesn't have any friends. AND SEE THATS MY POINT! I'm fuckin... friendless. No one stops by and says hey is Nathanael around? We're going to go play jump rope. NOTHING! No one knows me! I don't exist according to everyone within 3 hours in a radius. So... what? So there aren't any responsibilities. And where does that leave me? Not bored with nothing to do, it leaves me with a bunch of stuff I want to do... stories, screenplays, songs, albums, projects.... all unfinished. And why? Because I could do them anytime. There are no due dates, so nothing gets done. I've been working on my GREAT story for 7 years now. And how many pages to I have, you ask? 50. And they aren't even good pages. I have the complete story in my mind, the main character finally realizes that he is the bad guy and that the villian, his rival, is the good guy, and he gives it up, making them both good. BECAUSE THEY'RE BOTH HIM! AHAHAHA! I'm crazy.
Thats why I didn't write in this thingie last night, because I was CRAZY! I mean... loony out of daffy. Who is cooler, Daffy or Donald? I think Daffy because theres one cartoon I have where he takes on the Nazis and wins. Thats a cool duck right there. But seriously, if I talked to you yesterday, I was cracked wasn't I? Aww, Shayna left... there goes my last buddy...
Yeah, I was, wow... people would talk to me and I would say "WHAT? YOU'RE CRAZY!" and... I meant it. I thought there was a full moon or something. Maybe there was, maybe we were all crazy. I wanted to put a bullet between the eyes of every panda that wouldn't screw to save it species.
I think I'll dedicate every journal entry to a friend. This one goes to Kim.
Kymberli! For those of you don't know her, Kim is a girl I met about a month ago, and from the moment I came within five feet of her I knew her. The window was tinted, but I stared right at her without seeing her and I was like... wow. She rolled down the window and I was like, yeah, thats her. We talked about Donnie Darko and it was like we'd been friends for years. I walked along a path along the creek at my pace, and nervous Abe and Tall Chick walked off with their long legs all snobby like but Kim stayed back to keep me company cause she's cool like that... and I was like... nah, this is probably just like with my good ol' fan where at first I thought we had so much in common but later I realized she just kinda went along with whatever I said to make it seem like she was who I wanted her to be... and then I was like, be real, and she was different, not really, because she was the same person but... weird. But Kim, no, she's weird. And heres why: She's like me. Yeah, like, if I switched minds with her, you probably wouldn't notice. In fact, I could probably do that because we are so alike... I always wondered what it would be like being different people, Freaky Friday style, but, with her, I don't wonder. Its like I did. Except she's a cooler version of me.
Heres whats weird about her: She's stress-free. Like, you could put her in the middle of the street in New York with taxis honking all around her and she'd simply blink, then look at the pretty buildings. That, and she doesn't get moody. You could stay at her house, beat her in her favorite game, eat her food, keep her up all night and the next day she'd still be happy and have a smile on her face. (Hypothetically, of course... not like I would do that!) In truth, I don't think I'm half as cool as she is, I only say we are the same because I wish it. But, either way, three cheers of Kim! She is proof that my list for a girl is not completely unrealistic. Maybe its possible Nate will one day find a girl he likes that will like him back. Kim gives him hope. Hurray for Kim!
Sometimes I think I really should have a point before I start typing, but thats not my style. Even though I don't think I learned anything in writing this, it kind of gave me a perspective on things.....
I'm not crazy!
(Hows that for short, Phil?)