C o n f u s e d .
Ahh, what was I thinking, going all crazy like that yesterday afternoon? If I knew what would happen after, I would of never acted in such a stupid way.. But for once I'll try to forget about my stupid mistakes.. Atleast I know I learn from them.
So many mistakes made, but we can fix things, right? Because we were always good at that. We were always able to help one another, no matter the distance..
& it was like a dream. A dream so realistic, but a little too much to be true. And what if it was a dream? Would I like this to happen for real? Yes. Yes because that's all I want.
And I opened my eyes a coulpe, a dozen of times. I staired and I smiled because it seemed to perfect, and too real. And then I rememberd how many times I lied to my damned self. I can't keep on doing this when I know the truth.. I close my eyes and dream again..
I'm confused, for those who have not yet noticed it, I'm stuck between my futur and my past, and with everything that went on, I don't know what to believe.. Which way is real? What's this going to do to me? And will I end up like before?
Cold, Tired, Lonely, Suffering, Depressed, Worried, Useless, Hopeless..
But I'm not the same girl from the past months.. I'm growing older I guess, and getting stronger, I hope. So I could go through with all this, right? All the changes..
And tehn again, I have no clue what I'm syaing, what I'm typing. And I don't feel like reaading it all.. I don't understand a damn thign about all this!
One thing's for sure.. I wish it would never end, but all good things have to end sometime, right? Atleast I know it wasn't another stupid dream.. I guess it wasn't..
Though you're the one who hurts me the most, I always end up running back into your arms.. That's just 'cause I love you so damn much..
xoxo N