Confusement.
Mood: Sad,confused,unconfident,hopeless.
Song: Call Me When You're Sober - Evanescence
Motivation of the day: The thought I'd get to see you again. But then I realised that wasn't possible when I got into the bus.
I picked up the phone, but there's no one on the other side. I looked out the window but not even my reflection stairs back. I lie down on the floor and I stair up to the sky. inside, I feel so empty, and I'm dizzy at the same time. I want to jump back into your arms, for there, I am safe,but you're nowhere to be found, so I sit, and wait. I sit and wait for you to appear somehow. I look at the end of the street, hoping your shadowy figure would show up, the time passes, and tick-tock goes the clock.. But you never show up.
So I close my eyes and wonder why I can't help myself up. I rely on everyone but myself. I want to run to you because you seem to take my pain away, just one touch and I feel okay again, but you're never around. It's okay, because imagine I'm in your arms. For a moment I feel alright, but the next I collapse and cry. I wish I wasn't so weak, this stress & pressure turned me into a mess.. And it goes on & on.. How much more can I take? It's just so much at a time.. If I go then it will be doubled, no, tripled! One batch is enough.. But I don't want to be all alone.. Not this year.. A young 16 year old with nobody special.. It's sad when you think of it. Holiday plans ruined because of my futur. If I had the choice between failing & or succeeding, you know I'd pick to succeed but, the root is really bumpy, and I'm going to miss out on the best moments of my life.. Choices .. so many.. it's hard to make th right ones. I chose you, or you came right in. I chose to get through yesterday, but will I get through today? Hopefully.. but at some moments I feel like nothign is worth it anymore, and I should just give up everythign I own, to go to a better place..
L i b r a_kills.
xoxo
..i miss you..