Worn out and worried, Anita tried not to pace around her apartment after calling Ten, tried to relax, curl up on the couch with a movie. It didn't work
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Ten rings the doorbell and waits. Then he rings it again, for good measure. He doesn't know what's wrong with Anita, but he suspects it's more than just Nathaniel's departure.
It takes her a minute to make it through the apartment, down all of the stairs to the door on the main level. A quick check to see who it was and she unlocked the door, swinging it open, relief plain on her face. "You came." Like somehow, she still doubted that he might have.
"I know, I just..." No way to say that she always expected to be disappointed so she doesn't, stepping back from the door to let him in, locking the door behind him, the large empty space echoing around them. "Upstairs?"
She makes her way immediately towards the kitchen, flicking on a light and leaning against the counter. "Can I get you anything to drink?" She looks tired and tense, just as she likely sounded earlier.
She stops, her fingers digging into the counter behind her. "I haven't been thinking straight since Thursday, too much, too many things... And last night, I don't know what happened, but I lost control of the ardeur, it overwhelmed me."
"It was," her eyes flick back to the dent in the wall, the letter on the table, then back to Ten. "And last night. I was lucky. Luckier than I ever though possible. It took over while I was at the Triangle, but I was with Aziraphale at the time, and he controlled it," still, she goes red at the thought of it, being on the dance floor, "He bound it Ten, it hurt, god did it fight, it didn't want to be bound, but it is now." She looks confused, worried, unsure of just what that really means.
"I start over again? I still have to feed the ardeur, but I have to see just how much control I have. And I move on." She shrugs, trying to dismiss how hurt she was, how bad this is for her. Turning to face away from him, pulling coffee beans out of the freezer she stops, her voice quiet, "Ten, Nathaniel said something in his letter to me, and I think... I think he might be right."
"Anita..." He stops, uncertain what to say. If she doesn't want to talk about it, she doesn't want to talk about it, but it would be better to get it out. Still. "What is it?"
She pulls the beans out, putting them down on the counter, pulling down the grinder and plugging it in before turning back to face him. She needed the time. "He said..." She shakes her head, not the way to start this conversation, "No, it's not just that." She stops one more time looking up at him, meeting his eyes, "Ten, I think I'm falling in love with you."
Ten is taken aback, but only slightly. He blushes and looks down first, uncertain what to say. What does one say, anyhow? "You...do?" is what manages to come out.
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His eyes follow where hers had been--the dent, the letter--and he knows just what she had been thinking, what she'd done. How much it had hurt her.
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