I lost a fan
This is a letter from a homie/fan on myspace -- i really wish I could connect more with my peeps on the internet - and call them - but well it is difficult to please everyone -- and I am happy I have made a connection to my fans that it may even turn into LOVE -- like this young boy -- but I never meant to hurt him -- AHHHH I feel bad!
I know I shouldn't waste my precious time and words on you anymore ,but I just had to set you straight. Your name is Deadlee right? Well that is the perfect name for you because your personality is just as dead. I can't believe how much time I wasted trying to make you like me. I put it all out there about the way I felt and all you could do was reply with a short ass sentence that left me in the dark. Well I'm no longer in the dark. I finally see you for who you are and you are nothing like I expected.
I guess I expected too much from you. I opened up to you and you couldn't even say how you felt. You are a man of a certain age so I thought that you were mature and looking for something serious. Boy was I wrong. I kept writing all these long ass stupid messages expressing myself and you probably laughed at how naive I was. Yes I was very naive ,but I'm not anymore. You couldn't say shit. You couldn't just say "Leave me the fuck alone", "No nigga I don't want you" or anything to let me know how you felt.
Sorry I couldn't read your mind. If you had called me like you said then I could have detected by your tone what you felt or if we had met face to face I could have seen your facial expressions. All you said to me was "You're interesting". Nigga oatmeal is interesting. I am a real fucking person with feelings. I guess I never took the time to see you for who you really are instead of what I wanted to see. Yes I will say that you are fine. You are indeed very sexy. I can't deny that. I can go on and on. You've got a banging body and a gorgeous face. But is that all you are?
I thought because you were older than me that you would be deeper than that. Once again I was wrong. Man you will never ever truly understand how I felt. I was infatuated. I did all I could to impress you. I thought there was something I could do to make you mine. There were even times when it hurt so bad that I just wanted to die. Yes I'm serious. I liked you that much. If I had killed myself you wouldn't have even known or cared. You would have went on living your life and you wouldn't have even blinked twice.
To you I'm just some guy on my space that bothers you. But you were someone that I looked up to, admired and cared about. Looking back I do regret spilling my guts however I don't regret the lesson I learned from all this. I have grown from this and I will never chase another guy who doesn't want shit to do with me. I felt like a dead cat on the street. You just walked right pass me and didn't even think twice about me.
I wrote a song and a stupid ass story about you and I don't even know why. What did you do to deserve all this? Nothing. I'm not gonna put curses on you or say I hope you die and burn in hell. I honestly don't hate you. I just hate what you did and how you made me feel. I hope that you learn something from this as well. I honestly want you to have a successful career. I want to see you happy. But I also think you should realize that you really hurt me. You may not understand how ,but you did.
I used to tell my friends about you and how much I liked you. They would always tell me that you were a conceited player. I didn't think that at all. But now I'm not so sure what to think of you anymore. I see all the comments that people write on your page. But those guys just see you as a boy toy. I never thought of you like that. You will probably get mad at me and tell me off ,but please don't try to turn this around like I'm the bad guy. All I did was like you. Was that so bad? I guess so.
Even while I had a boyfriend you were always in the back of my mind. You just blew your nose on me like I was a piece of paper and threw me away. I can't be too hard on you though. I made the mistake of writing to you. Maybe you weren't looking for a boyfriend or maybe I wasn't your type. But I guess I will never know what you felt since you didn't think I deserved an honest answer from you. Whatever. I gotta stop tripping every time a bald Latino plays me. I guess I should be used to that by now. I'm not gonna turn into a promiscuous player ,but I am gonna have to get stronger and stop falling every time I see a tatted up bald Latino
I know I shouldn't waste my precious time and words on you anymore ,but I just had to set you straight. Your name is Deadlee right? Well that is the perfect name for you because your personality is just as dead. I can't believe how much time I wasted trying to make you like me. I put it all out there about the way I felt and all you could do was reply with a short ass sentence that left me in the dark. Well I'm no longer in the dark. I finally see you for who you are and you are nothing like I expected.
I guess I expected too much from you. I opened up to you and you couldn't even say how you felt. You are a man of a certain age so I thought that you were mature and looking for something serious. Boy was I wrong. I kept writing all these long ass stupid messages expressing myself and you probably laughed at how naive I was. Yes I was very naive ,but I'm not anymore. You couldn't say shit. You couldn't just say "Leave me the fuck alone", "No nigga I don't want you" or anything to let me know how you felt.
Sorry I couldn't read your mind. If you had called me like you said then I could have detected by your tone what you felt or if we had met face to face I could have seen your facial expressions. All you said to me was "You're interesting". Nigga oatmeal is interesting. I am a real fucking person with feelings. I guess I never took the time to see you for who you really are instead of what I wanted to see. Yes I will say that you are fine. You are indeed very sexy. I can't deny that. I can go on and on. You've got a banging body and a gorgeous face. But is that all you are?
I thought because you were older than me that you would be deeper than that. Once again I was wrong. Man you will never ever truly understand how I felt. I was infatuated. I did all I could to impress you. I thought there was something I could do to make you mine. There were even times when it hurt so bad that I just wanted to die. Yes I'm serious. I liked you that much. If I had killed myself you wouldn't have even known or cared. You would have went on living your life and you wouldn't have even blinked twice.
To you I'm just some guy on my space that bothers you. But you were someone that I looked up to, admired and cared about. Looking back I do regret spilling my guts however I don't regret the lesson I learned from all this. I have grown from this and I will never chase another guy who doesn't want shit to do with me. I felt like a dead cat on the street. You just walked right pass me and didn't even think twice about me.
I wrote a song and a stupid ass story about you and I don't even know why. What did you do to deserve all this? Nothing. I'm not gonna put curses on you or say I hope you die and burn in hell. I honestly don't hate you. I just hate what you did and how you made me feel. I hope that you learn something from this as well. I honestly want you to have a successful career. I want to see you happy. But I also think you should realize that you really hurt me. You may not understand how ,but you did.
I used to tell my friends about you and how much I liked you. They would always tell me that you were a conceited player. I didn't think that at all. But now I'm not so sure what to think of you anymore. I see all the comments that people write on your page. But those guys just see you as a boy toy. I never thought of you like that. You will probably get mad at me and tell me off ,but please don't try to turn this around like I'm the bad guy. All I did was like you. Was that so bad? I guess so.
Even while I had a boyfriend you were always in the back of my mind. You just blew your nose on me like I was a piece of paper and threw me away. I can't be too hard on you though. I made the mistake of writing to you. Maybe you weren't looking for a boyfriend or maybe I wasn't your type. But I guess I will never know what you felt since you didn't think I deserved an honest answer from you. Whatever. I gotta stop tripping every time a bald Latino plays me. I guess I should be used to that by now. I'm not gonna turn into a promiscuous player ,but I am gonna have to get stronger and stop falling every time I see a tatted up bald Latino