too stupid to walk away,let the pain wait another pill i mean day.

[deadguttergirl]

And he would always feed my feigning
always had the right dose of my numb
here I am all alone,
bars are holding him in place
im here at a standstill
is he my remedy or the disease that eats at me
each pill a pain put on hold
and while im sober each movement feels like death;
inside to out
emotional to physical
all the painkillers in the world are not enough
and he knows he will never satisfy me
but hes dug me a whole so far down hes just trying to find common ground
And im waiting on his voice
to tell me its okay to waste away drugged up in my numbness
and he will never fails hes my devil with the saving grace face
and im alone singing songs of despair and hes just a step away
from death giving him his last kiss
don't want to see him go
and I want to live
so let him go
so I can stay so
I can be what was meant to be
I was not meant to be a worshipper of pills
all my being wants to hide forever underneath my own eyes
yet the moments im clean from them
I see my reflection
the devils holding me by my ankles
and im not even trying to kick him away
and he feeds my feigning
and I keep flying reeling
here he is the love of my life
all the metaphors love, pills, god the fucking devil
can you even see the difference
im alive but hanging on by one pill
thinking im dead inside brings bruises to my eyes
I see the damage done to all
and im the cause
I want to kill the pain
the but pain comes from being alive
and all the songs don't keep me from the lust of the numb..
its a song never done.