East Side Pain
The previously promised lyrics to East Side Pain,
fully annotated, written shortly after the demise of
"Solar 79" (who?) when we were in the midst of an
unspoken post breakup feud...
I woke up late this morning at ten/dreaming of a fat
nymphet ***1. Chris is perpetually late/2. Chris likes
plus-sized young-uns ***
You say you heard this before/but it won't happen
anymore ***3. Chris always claims he's going to change
but never does***
I'm tired of this sticky sofa/science fiction will not
coax her ***4. The "love futon" is wet with his
seed/5. Not all girls are impressed with a guy's
collection of sci-fi toys ***
Dirty pictures on my wall/will guarantee that she
won't call ***6. Naked Rebecca pictures/7. Girls
aren't usually turned on by naked pictures of other
girls unless they're lesbians ***
[chorus]
But I don't think that you're aware/of the East Side
Pain that is in the air
The basement's cold and my neighbor's hot ***8. Chris
doesn't control the furnace in his basement - Colleen
and Vicky do/9. Chris has the hots for Colleen***
I dream of her a lot
She dreams of me (or not) ***10. Chris' fantasies
about Colleen are not reciprocated
[verse2]
Staring at the lake I see/Black Butte Porter smiling
at me ***11. Chris spills beer ***
How did this get on the door/and on my fetid bathroom
floor? ***12. Chris spills beer on everything/13.
Chris' bathroom is the most rancid place imaginable
***
Listening to your earnest pleas/I'll screen you out
eventually ***14. Instead of answering the phone,
Chris enjoys listening to answering messages as they
are being recorded***
There's no need to get uptight/when all my pills will
make me right ***15. Prozac is life's panacea***
[repeat chorus]
[break]
[repeat chorus]
[2nd chorus lyrics]
And I don't think that you have seen/all the smokey
bars and the strip mall scenes ***16. Chris's haunts
include smoky bars and Vietnamese restaurants in strip
malls ***
The comic books/the wine and cheese ***17. I think
this one's pretty obvious!***
The cats will find their cradle ***18. I just had to
throw in something about his cats, and it's also a
Vonnegut reference (how erudite of me!)***
Inside of my dank stable ***Chris's apartment is a
cross between a dungeon and a barn***
fully annotated, written shortly after the demise of
"Solar 79" (who?) when we were in the midst of an
unspoken post breakup feud...
I woke up late this morning at ten/dreaming of a fat
nymphet ***1. Chris is perpetually late/2. Chris likes
plus-sized young-uns ***
You say you heard this before/but it won't happen
anymore ***3. Chris always claims he's going to change
but never does***
I'm tired of this sticky sofa/science fiction will not
coax her ***4. The "love futon" is wet with his
seed/5. Not all girls are impressed with a guy's
collection of sci-fi toys ***
Dirty pictures on my wall/will guarantee that she
won't call ***6. Naked Rebecca pictures/7. Girls
aren't usually turned on by naked pictures of other
girls unless they're lesbians ***
[chorus]
But I don't think that you're aware/of the East Side
Pain that is in the air
The basement's cold and my neighbor's hot ***8. Chris
doesn't control the furnace in his basement - Colleen
and Vicky do/9. Chris has the hots for Colleen***
I dream of her a lot
She dreams of me (or not) ***10. Chris' fantasies
about Colleen are not reciprocated
[verse2]
Staring at the lake I see/Black Butte Porter smiling
at me ***11. Chris spills beer ***
How did this get on the door/and on my fetid bathroom
floor? ***12. Chris spills beer on everything/13.
Chris' bathroom is the most rancid place imaginable
***
Listening to your earnest pleas/I'll screen you out
eventually ***14. Instead of answering the phone,
Chris enjoys listening to answering messages as they
are being recorded***
There's no need to get uptight/when all my pills will
make me right ***15. Prozac is life's panacea***
[repeat chorus]
[break]
[repeat chorus]
[2nd chorus lyrics]
And I don't think that you have seen/all the smokey
bars and the strip mall scenes ***16. Chris's haunts
include smoky bars and Vietnamese restaurants in strip
malls ***
The comic books/the wine and cheese ***17. I think
this one's pretty obvious!***
The cats will find their cradle ***18. I just had to
throw in something about his cats, and it's also a
Vonnegut reference (how erudite of me!)***
Inside of my dank stable ***Chris's apartment is a
cross between a dungeon and a barn***