That Which Was Left Behind...
Not Long Ago...
JediMaster Obi-1 has finally caught up with his long, arch nemesis, Sith Lord Darth Maul, for a battle of the likes no one had seen before. This grueling [and might I say, a well choreographed] battle took place during an attempt at reclaiming Naboo from the Trade Federation, and some dumb plot about a fierce battle [yawn] between Trade Federation droids and unpolitically correct Gungans who weren‘t really all that funny, but I digress. Jedi and Sith meet each other, lightsaber to lightsaber, each proving themselves to be highly skilled and formidable opponents. This fierce match of vitality inevitably comes to it's conclusion, as Darth Maul is slain.
Thought by the counsel to be what should have been the swift downfall of the Empire [not realizing that YET ANOTHER sequel was, at that moment, already being penned], the infamous ‘dark side’ of the force only seemed to grow stronger, ever steadily. In a last ditch attempt to save all of humanity as they knew it, the counsel decides that the only way to defeat this evil would be to have this evil consume itself, and implode from the inside out.
In an exercise which could only be considered to be act of pure brilliance, Obi-1 was sent by the counsel to exhume Darth Mauls’ lifeless and severed body in an attempt to gather his metaclorines [tiny, unexplained particles which thrive in each of us, binding the fabric of the universe together or some shit like that] in order combine and compliment both Jedi and Sith powers in order to create a new, ultimate Empire-killing, Jedi warrior machine [the likes of which this world has never seen].
Unfortunately, the only remnance of Darth Maul that could be found was that which was left behind after he was brutally sliced in half by a lucky blow from Obi-1 [causing the valiant Sith Lord to promptly shit his pants as he fell down a completely unnecessary air shaft, at the pure shock of his own defeat].
This will have to do, and the Jedi counsel agreed. With Darth Mauls’ metaclorines now recovered, they were brought to the special, secret Jedi lab, where they were synthesized [utilizing an advanced technology well beyond the simple comprehension of those of you now reading about this legend, having to do with molecules, and chemical structures and things your primitive brains couldn't possibly understand] and were able to successfully accelerate the growth of this new child to rise up to meet the growing threat of yet ANOTHER looming Deathstar. Unfortunately [and unbeknownst to the counsel], somebody misplaced Obi-1’s metaclorines and replaced them with a quivering, green bowl of Jell-O [possibly a well crafted plan cleverly executed by an Empire spy].
Needless to say, a new Jedi thus was born! His name was JediMaster SeldomWalker [as all the other good Jedi names had already been taken].
This is his story:
http://www.teamabuse.com/toxic/stuff/swk.htm
JediMaster Obi-1 has finally caught up with his long, arch nemesis, Sith Lord Darth Maul, for a battle of the likes no one had seen before. This grueling [and might I say, a well choreographed] battle took place during an attempt at reclaiming Naboo from the Trade Federation, and some dumb plot about a fierce battle [yawn] between Trade Federation droids and unpolitically correct Gungans who weren‘t really all that funny, but I digress. Jedi and Sith meet each other, lightsaber to lightsaber, each proving themselves to be highly skilled and formidable opponents. This fierce match of vitality inevitably comes to it's conclusion, as Darth Maul is slain.
Thought by the counsel to be what should have been the swift downfall of the Empire [not realizing that YET ANOTHER sequel was, at that moment, already being penned], the infamous ‘dark side’ of the force only seemed to grow stronger, ever steadily. In a last ditch attempt to save all of humanity as they knew it, the counsel decides that the only way to defeat this evil would be to have this evil consume itself, and implode from the inside out.
In an exercise which could only be considered to be act of pure brilliance, Obi-1 was sent by the counsel to exhume Darth Mauls’ lifeless and severed body in an attempt to gather his metaclorines [tiny, unexplained particles which thrive in each of us, binding the fabric of the universe together or some shit like that] in order combine and compliment both Jedi and Sith powers in order to create a new, ultimate Empire-killing, Jedi warrior machine [the likes of which this world has never seen].
Unfortunately, the only remnance of Darth Maul that could be found was that which was left behind after he was brutally sliced in half by a lucky blow from Obi-1 [causing the valiant Sith Lord to promptly shit his pants as he fell down a completely unnecessary air shaft, at the pure shock of his own defeat].
This will have to do, and the Jedi counsel agreed. With Darth Mauls’ metaclorines now recovered, they were brought to the special, secret Jedi lab, where they were synthesized [utilizing an advanced technology well beyond the simple comprehension of those of you now reading about this legend, having to do with molecules, and chemical structures and things your primitive brains couldn't possibly understand] and were able to successfully accelerate the growth of this new child to rise up to meet the growing threat of yet ANOTHER looming Deathstar. Unfortunately [and unbeknownst to the counsel], somebody misplaced Obi-1’s metaclorines and replaced them with a quivering, green bowl of Jell-O [possibly a well crafted plan cleverly executed by an Empire spy].
Needless to say, a new Jedi thus was born! His name was JediMaster SeldomWalker [as all the other good Jedi names had already been taken].
This is his story:
http://www.teamabuse.com/toxic/stuff/swk.htm