(no subject)
So, if anything, I've come to the conclusion that I am happy.
Very, very fucking happy.
It might be Ben, it might be my friends, it might be the way things are finally starting to peice together as I figure out what the hell I'm doing with myself. It might be that I'm writing again, singing again... I had stopped for a while because everything I wrote depressed the hell out of me and I wasn't up for it.
I'd been fading out for so long until he showed up on my doorstep.
I've written him a song that I plan to play for him on Valentine's Day. Lemme see if I can remember it.
"There's too many years between." Words will creep into my ears and you will creep into my heart. Please lock the door behind you and tell me you're not faking. Promise me you'll stay a tenant. Promise me you'll stay attentive. (At least until the alkaloid kicks in.) 'Cause you and I, we bleed caffeine. I can taste the sugar on your lips and the levels are rising. So are heavy hearts. Please lock the door behind you and tell me you're not faking. Protruding ribs and nicotine and saying things you swear you mean will keep me always waiting. Always needing. (I can't remember this line.) Remain my favorite pasttime and I'll stay your immigrant. Make a claim to loving me and I am yours forever. Sweet cancer, take me over, fill my lungs with only you.
Yeah, so it's not very good but it feels right. I hope he likes it even though it sounds kind of depressing. Yeah... I'm actually spending V-day with someone. I'm ecstatic. And in love. SO in love. Never been so in love.
"There's too many years between." Words will creep into my ears and you will creep into my heart. Please lock the door behind you and tell me you're not faking. Promise me you'll stay a tenant. Promise me you'll stay attentive. (At least until the alkaloid kicks in.) 'Cause you and I, we bleed caffeine. I can taste the sugar on your lips and the levels are rising. So are heavy hearts. Please lock the door behind you and tell me you're not faking. Protruding ribs and nicotine and saying things you swear you mean will keep me always waiting. Always needing. (I can't remember this line.) Remain my favorite pasttime and I'll stay your immigrant. Make a claim to loving me and I am yours forever. Sweet cancer, take me over, fill my lungs with only you.
Yeah, so it's not very good but it feels right. I hope he likes it even though it sounds kind of depressing. Yeah... I'm actually spending V-day with someone. I'm ecstatic. And in love. SO in love. Never been so in love.