Hmm
So yeah.. had a guilty feelin all day today..
cuz if u know me then u know i kinda lie to people sometimes just to see their reaction and to whether or not i can get away with it.. well i did it last night.. and I NEVER FEEL QUILTY ABOUT LIES!! ok i cant say never.. but ok.. i hardly do.. only to like bre kim n mary!! thats it!!!! i cant lie to those girls at all!! hmm so this is a first though.. i tell a guy a lil lie.. hmm which he figured i was lyin bout.. but i got away with it till i woke up this morning and was like omg hes not ryan i dont want that kinda relationship to happen again.. yupp.. so i broke down today.. did a lot of thinkin.. yet again. n as soon as he calls or whatever.. ill tell him. cuz yeah.. i dunno WEIRD FEELIN MAN!! ive never lied to him before n i do it once and it like tears me apart.. i dunno if thats good or not. i guess u could take it as.. good.. since id never be able to lie.. but when i think about it.. i really like him and have no reason to lie.. and im not fuckin things up this time. ryan wow that relationship turned into one big ole game.. it was nuts. but yeah.. totally worth the shiit i hadda go through.. ive learned a lot from his mistakes and my mistakes.. my mistakes im not makin again.. so much to say for his though hes never gonna learn.
:) mary is sooooo proud of me.. shes been there for me no matter what for this past year.. and i havent been this happy in probably never.. and mary is all like i love it!! n ya know i love it too!!! i never noticed before how much ryan dragged me down.. and mary tried to tell me.. so did Bre.. amazingly so did Nicole.. but idk i was just bein stupid and didnt care to realize things.. but its aight now. everything is cool ya know.
its just hard for me to go from a relationship based on lies.. to one thats totally truthful. so im kinda glad im not jumpin into that. but i like trust.. last 4 relationships woulda been betta if trust was one the factors in them. but those 4 relationships have had mistakes ive learned from and yeah thats awesome.. n maybe.. im ready to be like.. wow happy relationship.. one i dont have to worry about.. actully u know.. id love that. :) so i can totally change from lies to trust.. knowing everything and that someone isnt gonna lie to me is awesome.
but.. ive been in such a good mood today..
gym- didnt do anything
bmaII- did the paper.. pfft not hard
american lit.- watched a movie n crap. nordstorm moved krystal away from me because she has a big mouth!!
LUNCH!!!- haha!! Bre "Only if I liked nuts, ohh man" -everyone bust up laughing-
sci. expo- went to the library and emerys class n i made some lil bracelets outta red cloth mary had and we stole some markers from korb!! haha. :) he loves us its all good!! but neways i wrote "Do Not Open Before Christmas" on them!! (made new ones 5th hour!! so bre make sure i give u it!!!) :) so now mary, bre, kim n i got these awesome bracelets!!!
art II- wilborn let me stay in Emerys to finish helpin mary with her spanish project.
walkin to 6th hour.. michelle goes "U SKIPPED!!"" i was like "no i was in the next room.. haha" then she was like "man i hate walkin through these hallways its like a herd of cows moooooooooo"
psych. I- had joe as a sub and did these question thingys outta the book.
that was my day.. and it was awesome.. and like so many ppl told me i looked cute.. but i only remember Julia sayin it at lunch.
yeah so im in a good mood there for i blabbed a lot. haha.
goin back to eatin my Iced Animals Cookies.. and listenin to music. lata kiddos!!
cuz if u know me then u know i kinda lie to people sometimes just to see their reaction and to whether or not i can get away with it.. well i did it last night.. and I NEVER FEEL QUILTY ABOUT LIES!! ok i cant say never.. but ok.. i hardly do.. only to like bre kim n mary!! thats it!!!! i cant lie to those girls at all!! hmm so this is a first though.. i tell a guy a lil lie.. hmm which he figured i was lyin bout.. but i got away with it till i woke up this morning and was like omg hes not ryan i dont want that kinda relationship to happen again.. yupp.. so i broke down today.. did a lot of thinkin.. yet again. n as soon as he calls or whatever.. ill tell him. cuz yeah.. i dunno WEIRD FEELIN MAN!! ive never lied to him before n i do it once and it like tears me apart.. i dunno if thats good or not. i guess u could take it as.. good.. since id never be able to lie.. but when i think about it.. i really like him and have no reason to lie.. and im not fuckin things up this time. ryan wow that relationship turned into one big ole game.. it was nuts. but yeah.. totally worth the shiit i hadda go through.. ive learned a lot from his mistakes and my mistakes.. my mistakes im not makin again.. so much to say for his though hes never gonna learn.
:) mary is sooooo proud of me.. shes been there for me no matter what for this past year.. and i havent been this happy in probably never.. and mary is all like i love it!! n ya know i love it too!!! i never noticed before how much ryan dragged me down.. and mary tried to tell me.. so did Bre.. amazingly so did Nicole.. but idk i was just bein stupid and didnt care to realize things.. but its aight now. everything is cool ya know.
its just hard for me to go from a relationship based on lies.. to one thats totally truthful. so im kinda glad im not jumpin into that. but i like trust.. last 4 relationships woulda been betta if trust was one the factors in them. but those 4 relationships have had mistakes ive learned from and yeah thats awesome.. n maybe.. im ready to be like.. wow happy relationship.. one i dont have to worry about.. actully u know.. id love that. :) so i can totally change from lies to trust.. knowing everything and that someone isnt gonna lie to me is awesome.
but.. ive been in such a good mood today..
gym- didnt do anything
bmaII- did the paper.. pfft not hard
american lit.- watched a movie n crap. nordstorm moved krystal away from me because she has a big mouth!!
LUNCH!!!- haha!! Bre "Only if I liked nuts, ohh man" -everyone bust up laughing-
sci. expo- went to the library and emerys class n i made some lil bracelets outta red cloth mary had and we stole some markers from korb!! haha. :) he loves us its all good!! but neways i wrote "Do Not Open Before Christmas" on them!! (made new ones 5th hour!! so bre make sure i give u it!!!) :) so now mary, bre, kim n i got these awesome bracelets!!!
art II- wilborn let me stay in Emerys to finish helpin mary with her spanish project.
walkin to 6th hour.. michelle goes "U SKIPPED!!"" i was like "no i was in the next room.. haha" then she was like "man i hate walkin through these hallways its like a herd of cows moooooooooo"
psych. I- had joe as a sub and did these question thingys outta the book.
that was my day.. and it was awesome.. and like so many ppl told me i looked cute.. but i only remember Julia sayin it at lunch.
yeah so im in a good mood there for i blabbed a lot. haha.
goin back to eatin my Iced Animals Cookies.. and listenin to music. lata kiddos!!