(no subject)
wow, i went all of november without any update, that kind of stinks, but when i think about it, i didn't do a whole lot with any of that time. thanksgiving i guess? i dunno, life is pretty much sailing a lot smoother now. i finally feel like things have settled down and wow, things are actually pretty good, and probably were never as bad as i thought them to be looking back on it. i guess i still have some problems, but they seem a whole lot less striking to me now, and that's awesome.
when i first came home after everything had happened i was supposed to be able to like find some psychologist or somebody to talk to or something and i was never like, huge on it i guess. i mean, i talked to somebody at michigan for like a session and it was actually pretty cool, but i dunno, dropping the semester kind of put the kibosh on that whole thing. so i had kind of wrestled with the thought and i talked to my mom about it and everything and i dunno, it sounded like a good idea but i didn't really feel like going out of my way to do it i guess. kind of a defeatist cycle i guess. but anyway, since i didn't do any of that stuff, my mom (who always goes all out in everything and that ends up being good and bad sometimes) did all this research and found this book called "feeling good" and it's by david burns and i was never the kind of person who would think that a self help book could help me out at all, but my mom made me the deal that if i read it, she would help pay for modern warfare 2, and who was i to disagree with that?
so, the book ended up being a super easy read and like, i really can't believe just how much better i feel after reading it either. and that sounds really stupid, but like, i dunno, it's kind of like i didnt even realize how bad things were in my ways of thinking and how to get out of that cycle of just beating myself up over and over about things mostly out of my control. i dunno, it really helped me just feel better about everything in relation to brandi for one thing, and to stop being so full of anger and shit and how to not make stupid assumptions about everything and things seem just that much more manageable. so that's been great, it honestly feels like a whole weight off my shoulders for the past like two weeks, and i dunno, it sounds stupid to say positive thoughts make positive feelings but to just having a whole book basically explain that to you and how to do it made it seem not as stupid i guess.
and i got a new phone! the droid eris, and i really dig it so much already. i mean, i loved my dare but all i wanted for the past however long was an iphone and this is the closest thing i think ive ever had to (ipod touch notwithstanding). but it's just awesome to use and is sleek and cool and i have pandora radio all the time! that kicks ass too. i dunno, i can't get enough of it, and android os is sweet, and im a huge google fan in general, so being able to support them in anyway kicks ass as well.
i totally need to stop staying up so late. i used to be able to get up early after staying up to these hours, but now i seem to be sleeping in incredibly late and then feeling shitty about it. i cannot wait for christmas. i dont know what ill be getting, but ive got some ideas, and i think i know what im getting everyone else too. so im just excited for everything. life will be good.
when i first came home after everything had happened i was supposed to be able to like find some psychologist or somebody to talk to or something and i was never like, huge on it i guess. i mean, i talked to somebody at michigan for like a session and it was actually pretty cool, but i dunno, dropping the semester kind of put the kibosh on that whole thing. so i had kind of wrestled with the thought and i talked to my mom about it and everything and i dunno, it sounded like a good idea but i didn't really feel like going out of my way to do it i guess. kind of a defeatist cycle i guess. but anyway, since i didn't do any of that stuff, my mom (who always goes all out in everything and that ends up being good and bad sometimes) did all this research and found this book called "feeling good" and it's by david burns and i was never the kind of person who would think that a self help book could help me out at all, but my mom made me the deal that if i read it, she would help pay for modern warfare 2, and who was i to disagree with that?
so, the book ended up being a super easy read and like, i really can't believe just how much better i feel after reading it either. and that sounds really stupid, but like, i dunno, it's kind of like i didnt even realize how bad things were in my ways of thinking and how to get out of that cycle of just beating myself up over and over about things mostly out of my control. i dunno, it really helped me just feel better about everything in relation to brandi for one thing, and to stop being so full of anger and shit and how to not make stupid assumptions about everything and things seem just that much more manageable. so that's been great, it honestly feels like a whole weight off my shoulders for the past like two weeks, and i dunno, it sounds stupid to say positive thoughts make positive feelings but to just having a whole book basically explain that to you and how to do it made it seem not as stupid i guess.
and i got a new phone! the droid eris, and i really dig it so much already. i mean, i loved my dare but all i wanted for the past however long was an iphone and this is the closest thing i think ive ever had to (ipod touch notwithstanding). but it's just awesome to use and is sleek and cool and i have pandora radio all the time! that kicks ass too. i dunno, i can't get enough of it, and android os is sweet, and im a huge google fan in general, so being able to support them in anyway kicks ass as well.
i totally need to stop staying up so late. i used to be able to get up early after staying up to these hours, but now i seem to be sleeping in incredibly late and then feeling shitty about it. i cannot wait for christmas. i dont know what ill be getting, but ive got some ideas, and i think i know what im getting everyone else too. so im just excited for everything. life will be good.