(no subject)
how can one hate oneself yet love another so much more then imagined?
there are simple things in life that make it worth living the smile you put on that special someones face the way you feel when you make some one else feel good...
i am a worthless piece of crap...although not the bottom of the barrel i differ from those who sit in their room and ponder how they can torment some one elses soul...
no one understands the pain that festers inside of me...you can all say im dramatic or selfish or not thankful or grateful or what say you but the truth is this sint about what you think and this isnt asking you to put me down or even try to understand you read this by will no one forces you...there are some of you out there who read this so you can try to conjure a way to torture me...oh well sucks for you...no one can torture me more then i can...you cant ruin my life only i can....and yes all you assholes who think i dont give a shit about what happend... i do...you will never understand how i feel...why..? simply because you are not me and i dont wish to share anything with any of you with the exception of the select few
how cn i be so confused...things are going well besides this consistent feeling of hatred for myself...but the thing is, i never thought it possible to love another and not love youself...but i now know from experience that it is possilbe...i hate myself unimaginably but i love, with my entitre being, Christopher...he is my everything...the most beautiful thing in my life...i watch him as if one day i will never see him again adn was forced to record every action every breath every blink of an eyelid....beauty has never looked and felt so real..yes i am greatful for him i am very thankful that i found someone as wonderful as him there is enough beauty in him yo capture the whole world...(obviously considering his x just wont let go)
oh well you know i have him and i am so happy with him.....(the unhappiness is of myself)...i love him very much
im going now bye
*delia*
there are simple things in life that make it worth living the smile you put on that special someones face the way you feel when you make some one else feel good...
i am a worthless piece of crap...although not the bottom of the barrel i differ from those who sit in their room and ponder how they can torment some one elses soul...
no one understands the pain that festers inside of me...you can all say im dramatic or selfish or not thankful or grateful or what say you but the truth is this sint about what you think and this isnt asking you to put me down or even try to understand you read this by will no one forces you...there are some of you out there who read this so you can try to conjure a way to torture me...oh well sucks for you...no one can torture me more then i can...you cant ruin my life only i can....and yes all you assholes who think i dont give a shit about what happend... i do...you will never understand how i feel...why..? simply because you are not me and i dont wish to share anything with any of you with the exception of the select few
how cn i be so confused...things are going well besides this consistent feeling of hatred for myself...but the thing is, i never thought it possible to love another and not love youself...but i now know from experience that it is possilbe...i hate myself unimaginably but i love, with my entitre being, Christopher...he is my everything...the most beautiful thing in my life...i watch him as if one day i will never see him again adn was forced to record every action every breath every blink of an eyelid....beauty has never looked and felt so real..yes i am greatful for him i am very thankful that i found someone as wonderful as him there is enough beauty in him yo capture the whole world...(obviously considering his x just wont let go)
oh well you know i have him and i am so happy with him.....(the unhappiness is of myself)...i love him very much
im going now bye
*delia*