I'm not sure why...
I am not sure why you still exist in my heart, and why your memory just won't go away. Tonight I sit here, and I feel my eyes fogging quickly. Its that urge to cry. That urge to cry out to you! I cannot understand why you constantly ignore the fact that I am here. I wish there were answers for all the confusion that runs through my head, but overall...they probably will never be answered. I miss you so much and you don't even know. You have no idea how much you have really affected my heart and my feelings. All you hear is my words. Thats all they are to you. It seems I can;t go anywhere without you talking to someone that I know. I wish that we all knew different people. This life is nothing but one big circle that never seems to go away. I am so frustrated 99% of the time, and to me I just don't understand why I cannot blow you off. Sometime I say a silent prayer, in hopes for that answer. That answer of why you don't need me, and why you don't know how to love me? I am saddened by you absense, and encouraged by your embrace. I know I am imperfect, and I have so many flaws. I have an agenda to my life, and that is only that of love. I remember looking into you eyes, and feeling so so soft and complete. I was cushioned by your existence. I found the comfort of my fears in your presence. You protected me from my shame of who I once was. I cannot express to you how sad it makes me feel to know that I may never be able to cherish the moments I hold so dear, ever again. I wish you knew how powerful you are in a sense. I carry a load of pain inside everyday. When I speak to you, I hear you...but I still feel like its not you. I hate thinking of you with others, and it bottles up everytime I think of it. Why is it that I cannot shake you? Why can't I run from my sadness. I sit here every night and hope that someday you may come back. I am a wisher. I am a dreamer. I am someone who knows exactly who they need. But that someone doesn't notice me.