Sometimes You Just Have To
I have been in one of those moods for days not. It started with a simple work thing but now has elevated to just about everything is irritating me. And I want to just stop it all, as it's driving me crazy. My family's annual 4th of July that I described yesterday is on Friday. I'm neither excited nor dreaded it, I am just indifferent. As it is with most of my family's parties, it's good for a bit then the rest of the time, I just watch to hide away and be away from everyone. It's a common thing for me, for some reason. I guess it's the typical, predictable stuff that I can' stand, but that's all part of being a family right? I guess I am just getting drained from every little thing. I just don't know how to deal. It has been nice lately to be able to hide away in a room full of my favorite things and just think. It has been so long to just sit and reflect. Although, I do not think it is helping my crankiness either. I just am not sure about anything, maybe this part of getting settled in as a wife. A wife! I still have not gotten used to those words. It doesn't feel real to me. And now we are slowly talking about kids, it's literally just freaking me out. It's happening. Just surreal that after everything that I have been through, I am at this point. I just not sure I am fully ready for that. But is anybody truly ready for that? I just have to make some changes for myself, somehow. Right now, I watching my ultimate favorite movie, Little Women (1994), in hopes that it will put me in better spirits. Lord, I hope so as I really need a break from feeling this way.