Life in a pint

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Roy Harper spent most of his day in front of a drum set. It wasn't practice, per se, as he wasn't concerned about what came out wrong. He's gotten better over the years, far beyond the novice he started out as, but he isn't as self-conscious of the mistakes when it's just him and the drums

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He nods solemnly. "Russel died because of someone's careless accident. Someone saying someone else would take care of it. It's a tragedy, and I'm sorry."

Roy looks straight at her. "But 'stupid kiddie stuff'? My wife would disagree because you were there for the Titans. I'm sure Ollie would, too. You saved me when the Tower got attacked. What about people like Staaya? Someone's gotta watch her. What about Mia, people like her? There's a lot of voices out there to be heard, nobody's listening, and you heard that call, Tara. But you can't be responsible for every voice that fades before you get there

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"Christie was screwed up. I knew that when I had to keep her from chasing my cat with Dad's razor and other wonderful stuff like that. I'm a total shit for thinking her destiny was going to be one involving Blackgate prison - and I know she hated me before and after. She was a freak. So am I."

"I'm not responsible for all those voices calling for help, Roy. I just needed to be there for the people I was supposed to be beholden to. With all due respect to everyone in this business...It's not family. I don't get how it can be." she shakes her head. "My first mission was watching you convince your team to give the Jersey State Bird to a god and calling yourselves 'family' and I still Do. Not. Get. It."

"I don't get how you can love one another like that when family is supposed to be -" She throws up her hands. "I don't know."

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"Because you've chosen to be responsible for some of them, and if you're not, you might want to tell the people around you that," he says pointedly. Frustrated, he brushes the dirt from his hands onto his jeans, and then combs his hair back from his face. He looks at his hands for a minute, remembering what Killswitch showed him of the fire that killed his father. It was a memory that had been lost in time, when his child-self woke to see hands cut, burned, and bruised. He learned to hold a bow with those hands before he learned to write the English language, and the old scars were replaced with new callouses that have followed him through life like a tale in and of themselves.

"Family is who and whatever you make it. The Titans are a family because no matter what kinda freak you are, where you come from, what you did before-- you come into the Titans, and we've got each other. A lot of us didn't have anybody else before this. Some of us were rejected by our family. You look at someone like Fauna, and you realize what some of us give

[green_shield]

She's been fighting that feeling since preventing Cheshire into making Ollie road pizza.

She looks up at him. The Outsiders have mixed messages on that idea. The Zukovs are still Zukovs even when one or both of them act like supervillains. Corrine Bertrand is still Therese D'Aubgine. Hell, Hank even talks about his old man and mom with a mix of love, frustration, and loathing. Tefe and Ibn were much the same way. Bobo even loves the guy that named him "Bobo."

We're all fucking stuck, and that's what we have in common.

"Can you...really change your family? I feel like, except for Mark, I'm with these people that -" It's both pain and relief to say this. "Can't go where I need to go. It's not a lack of love it's just...irreconcilable differences."

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"It doesn't have to be one or the other, but if they can't be a part of it with you," he shrugs, "Nothing you can do about that. Some of us carry bits of the old life as much as we can; honor the good it does or did mean to us."

Garth's the biggest example of that in the Titans. Sometimes there's just things you can't walk away from, but the hope is that one or both of your families can be there when things like that happen. "Don't look at it as replacing anyone, because that's never going to happen, and it'll never sit right in your heart. But hell yes, you can add people. It isn't about where someone came from that makes them family, it's where they're willing to go with you."

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She deflates a bit. "Then I accept Russel. I want to accept more, Roy. I do. I just need to process what's in front of me. There's never time to."

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He laughs, but not at her. For years, Roy and Donna had used that excuse to avoid whatever they called their relationship at that time. There was never time, never a moment to breath, never a moment to sit back and think on it, which was really just more time to come up with lame excuses

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That whole Romeo and Juliet thing makes her smile. It also makes her look to the stars and miss Travis. It's time to just get that figured out and stop worrying about it too.

"Aiden? It's going to be a boy?"

"You know, I know your school thing got thrown off, but - have you considered this? What you're doing now, I mean."

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"Yeah, it's a boy. Likes barbecue." It's obvious Roy's very proud. Lian was great, and she was about as un-girl as girls come, but there was something for Roy about having a son. In some small way, it made him feel even more connected than Lian had to that stranger in his mind he called a father, before Bravebow or Ollie. That man might be a stranger in Roy's mind, but he never has been in his heart.

He laughs at the thing about school. "What, bein' a jerk and a nuisance? I've never needed a degree for that."

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"Sitting people that need it down and talking to them. You have a rep for being Mr. 'Been There, Done That' among capes. Capes who've already lived through way too much as is." She gets up and brushes the dirt off her pants. "I can take care of broken bodies. Minds and tattered souls are beyond my pay grade."

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Roy raises both brows. Heh. Really? Since when did anyone listen to him? "I did just spend several hours in a bar with Red Robin and Caleb Zukov, and no bottles got broken over any heads. Maybe. I'll think about it."

He leans back in the grass again, putting his hands behind his head. "Don't sell yourself short. Just like broken bodies, minds and tattered souls can be mended up and set on the right path to recovery, but time is the only thing that can do the rest. And sometimes, all you gotta do is be around for people to put themselves back together. Makes all the difference." He smirks. "Donna let me come back. Miracles happen, right?"

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"When are you two clowns gonna learn?" Her tone is light but the point is there. "She's lucky to have you too, jackass. I'm not saying that you aren't lucky to have her either, but...it's like the Garricks or the Dibnys, man. They're a unit. You're a unit. Whoever tries to pry that apart is in for a world of hurt, not just from the two of you and Lian, but from everyone else around here who need to know -" She stops and searches for her words. "That sometimes the princess kisses the frog and after all the crazy shit, it works out."

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"Yeah," he agrees, grinning. That pretty much sums it up.

Well-- "Not every gal finds a guy with great hair like me," he jokes, smiling. "Seriously, though. I know it probably feels like every other day the panic button is going off, time and events move along... but it's been four years since your long-legged behind spun into Ollie's life. You've got a good head on your shoulders, and you've been doing a lot of really good work the last few years. Don't forget to give credit to yourself. You turned out just fine by my measure, Tara."

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She takes two fingers and gives him a light thwack to the back of his head. "Oh, no. You don't get to make a joke back there. You say 'thank you, Tara. You're right. Marriage is awesome and possible and even occasionally a good idea.'" She sobers and looks up at the stars, thinking of her own commitments. "It never gets any easier or understandable, does it?"

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"Easier? I dunno about that. You learn how to roll with it better."

He smirks. "And because it looks like you need to hear it, 'Thank you, Tara, you're right. Marriage is awesome and possible and even occasionally a good idea.'"

It's been a long few months, but Roy hasn't stumbled on learning nothing. Every step has been a lesson, even if most of them have been raw and painful. "It's not all horror. There's the bright side, the people that are always going to keep you straight, and you learn to live for those."

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Why yes, she did need to hear that. "Thank you. Thank you very much."

She gathers her gear. "My brain is full. There's plenty I need to think about." She smirks at him. "Do I pay the receptionist and make my next appointment with her?"