Roy Harper spent most of his day in front of a drum set. It wasn't practice, per se, as he wasn't concerned about what came out wrong. He's gotten better over the years, far beyond the novice he started out as, but he isn't as self-conscious of the mistakes when it's just him and the drums
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And, there's his partner in brainwashing. No doubt off to lull his sorrows in the bottom of a beer glass. "Seat taken?"
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"No, it's open. Lemme buy you a beer." It's what you do after you partner to destroy the world, right?
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"The Elite, right." Government bastards Roy couldn't trust as far as Lian could throw that fat bitch Amanda Waller. Jason was... different somehow. He was still one of them even if he didn't think so and would fight you on it until he was blue in the face. It's best not to go here.
"Are you still seeing Helena?"
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"I worry about failing the people around me. When, uh ... when Amelia pulled her Trojan horse, we rallied and counter-attacked in time. I got my hands on Corrine. I was there - physically in possession of her unconscious body - but it it wasn't enough. I didn't even have to overcome Philip ... all I had to do was not loose long enough for my team to mop up his associates, and I couldn't even accomplish that."
"Back when I was with the DEO, it all seemed so simple. I was a big shot, and I developed an ego to match. God, what a fool I was. Now, I'm absolutely terrified that my team is going to need me, and I'm going to fail them."
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He sets his beer down on the bar, and leans forward to look straight at the other man. "Lemme tell you a lesson I kept getting punched with the hard way, Dr. Zukov. If all you do is count your losses and failures in this business, you're going to have a lot of ghosts that follow you around. Trust me when I say that can be a worse predicament to find yourself in than facing even your greatest enemy. Everybody's worst enemy is themselves. You start thinking about all the things you didn't pull off, start breaking yourself down..." He shakes his head. "It's a bad way to go. Don't do it, man."
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"Sound advice."
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That also reminded him, he'd left a note for Donna saying he was going out, but it was getting late. After Killswitch, he knew she worried. He would, too. ::Takin care of some Arrow biz @ Warriors. Fill u in later. Luv ya gorgeous.::
Now for the actual business. He finds Tara's number in his contacts, then chuckles at his own irony. ::Got some free time for a big brother?::
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Her phone buzzes and she texts back. ::When?::
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Tara can probably hear Roy yucking to himself. It's a rhetorical question among heroes.
::Now works.::
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::Now's good. Where? Prefer quiet.::
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Roy looks straight at her. "But 'stupid kiddie stuff'? My wife would disagree because you were there for the Titans. I'm sure Ollie would, too. You saved me when the Tower got attacked. What about people like Staaya? Someone's gotta watch her. What about Mia, people like her? There's a lot of voices out there to be heard, nobody's listening, and you heard that call, Tara. But you can't be responsible for every voice that fades before you get there ( ... )
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"I'm not responsible for all those voices calling for help, Roy. I just needed to be there for the people I was supposed to be beholden to. With all due respect to everyone in this business...It's not family. I don't get how it can be." she shakes her head. "My first mission was watching you convince your team to give the Jersey State Bird to a god and calling yourselves 'family' and I still Do. Not. Get. It."
"I don't get how you can love one another like that when family is supposed to be -" She throws up her hands. "I don't know."
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"Family is who and whatever you make it. The Titans are a family because no matter what kinda freak you are, where you come from, what you did before-- you come into the Titans, and we've got each other. A lot of us didn't have anybody else before this. Some of us were rejected by our family. You look at someone like Fauna, and you realize what some of us give ( ... )
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She looks up at him. The Outsiders have mixed messages on that idea. The Zukovs are still Zukovs even when one or both of them act like supervillains. Corrine Bertrand is still Therese D'Aubgine. Hell, Hank even talks about his old man and mom with a mix of love, frustration, and loathing. Tefe and Ibn were much the same way. Bobo even loves the guy that named him "Bobo."
We're all fucking stuck, and that's what we have in common.
"Can you...really change your family? I feel like, except for Mark, I'm with these people that -" It's both pain and relief to say this. "Can't go where I need to go. It's not a lack of love it's just...irreconcilable differences."
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