In a dream that everything around me turned into pitch black...
Never thought having someone you've believe in for so long, knowing you've thought who they really were... --had turn out to be a make-believe fantasy, a pretend, ...even down to a lie & betrayed, not really be loved once you've learned the whole truth at the end.
For the longest time, I've gave society a chance to give myself a try on trusting others, rely on, getting the chance to know them, reaching out, be close, not be so nervouse or shy, even to give it a try on fall-in-love.
Well, I've been doing that for the past 5 years now. Having to try to change my personality, my additude, my habbits, trying out new things that I have never tried before, being open to others, etc... And all of what came out during those 5 years have turn out to be a bunch of crap I've never thought I would go throu so emotionaly from the people I cared, be hurt from, being force on things & not be givin' trust, given their backs on you, and then being played & used...
I hate those 5 years.
Good thing there are little few people left I can truely still rely on & have my back, knowing for a fact they would be there for me when things go wrong, even though we're far apart from each other. ...It is really hard to know who is really there for you and whom you can really trust.
I hate the things I didn't really expected to happen for me of these 5 years that have passed so far.
I am not giving up on myself.
I don't want to turn back on being an anti-social again, since I am still having a hard time being a hermit --missing out a lot of stuff out there; not knowing what the fuck is this and that, and try my best not to go insane. Being like that is lonely, depressing, and not very healthful.
For now "FUCK THIS" on some of the people I truely don't give a rat's ass anymore!
For the longest time, I've gave society a chance to give myself a try on trusting others, rely on, getting the chance to know them, reaching out, be close, not be so nervouse or shy, even to give it a try on fall-in-love.
Well, I've been doing that for the past 5 years now. Having to try to change my personality, my additude, my habbits, trying out new things that I have never tried before, being open to others, etc... And all of what came out during those 5 years have turn out to be a bunch of crap I've never thought I would go throu so emotionaly from the people I cared, be hurt from, being force on things & not be givin' trust, given their backs on you, and then being played & used...
I hate those 5 years.
Good thing there are little few people left I can truely still rely on & have my back, knowing for a fact they would be there for me when things go wrong, even though we're far apart from each other. ...It is really hard to know who is really there for you and whom you can really trust.
I hate the things I didn't really expected to happen for me of these 5 years that have passed so far.
I am not giving up on myself.
I don't want to turn back on being an anti-social again, since I am still having a hard time being a hermit --missing out a lot of stuff out there; not knowing what the fuck is this and that, and try my best not to go insane. Being like that is lonely, depressing, and not very healthful.
For now "FUCK THIS" on some of the people I truely don't give a rat's ass anymore!