am I so sure I know what I'm talkingabout? (I'm not)
But for the good news and a rant.
I saw my favourite band, Neutral Milk Hotel, last night. It really really was a great experience for me.
Hmm. I'm having problems at the moment. I feel trapped in a place that I am not yet.
A few weeks ago I was overflowing with confidence; as is the case in those times, I felt that I would never lose that confidence. I felt I wouldn't but I thought I would, and I thought correctly. Do things when you're confident because without doing confidence reserves are depleted?
Though it's no big deal.
Yesterday I was writing a reference for a friend whom I had taught with (he had quit his job after I left). A lady who has lots of experience working in government heard that
I, rather than a manager, was writing the reference. She was critical - not meanly so, but critical in a "that is wrong practice" sense; in the sense that I had violated a rule. BUT, I thought, rules are not always correct, and this was one situation where the standard practice was illsuited (so give me a break!).
Why I write this is to explain just how it shocked and agitated me - this spectre of rules. A whole world of rules that get in the way of good sense, and are generally obstacles - for me - emerged before me. It really knocked me down a peg! I was quite kindly doing a simple favor for a friend, but even here general rules and contact had discovered me. I was reminded of them who I had forgotten, blissfully.
Then, today, I was speaking to her brother, who has kindly offered to help me improve my resume. He told me that I needed to address certain "competencies" or otherwise my resume risked being marked by a computer as unsuitable and not even looked at by the human eye (an exaggeration in 90% of cases or more, I'm sure). I'm going to his house on Tuesday, and while I'm very thankful for his assistance, at the same time I simply do not want to exist in that world! The thought of my resume being adjusted in concert with him feels a kind of violation.
--Earlier I had felt that this was my big chance to get a job that I wanted and was passionate about; that this time I could create a resume which spoke of me and my character truthfully. This would be such a relief for me. I hate being dishonest, even if it's an honesty by the name of Selling Yourself. Even this selling the self is dishonest in the sense that I am not a sort of person who likes to "sell themselves". Nobody in their right mind should be, if we were to take that phrase literally.
Well, everything is.
I saw my favourite band, Neutral Milk Hotel, last night. It really really was a great experience for me.
Hmm. I'm having problems at the moment. I feel trapped in a place that I am not yet.
A few weeks ago I was overflowing with confidence; as is the case in those times, I felt that I would never lose that confidence. I felt I wouldn't but I thought I would, and I thought correctly. Do things when you're confident because without doing confidence reserves are depleted?
Though it's no big deal.
Yesterday I was writing a reference for a friend whom I had taught with (he had quit his job after I left). A lady who has lots of experience working in government heard that
I, rather than a manager, was writing the reference. She was critical - not meanly so, but critical in a "that is wrong practice" sense; in the sense that I had violated a rule. BUT, I thought, rules are not always correct, and this was one situation where the standard practice was illsuited (so give me a break!).
Why I write this is to explain just how it shocked and agitated me - this spectre of rules. A whole world of rules that get in the way of good sense, and are generally obstacles - for me - emerged before me. It really knocked me down a peg! I was quite kindly doing a simple favor for a friend, but even here general rules and contact had discovered me. I was reminded of them who I had forgotten, blissfully.
Then, today, I was speaking to her brother, who has kindly offered to help me improve my resume. He told me that I needed to address certain "competencies" or otherwise my resume risked being marked by a computer as unsuitable and not even looked at by the human eye (an exaggeration in 90% of cases or more, I'm sure). I'm going to his house on Tuesday, and while I'm very thankful for his assistance, at the same time I simply do not want to exist in that world! The thought of my resume being adjusted in concert with him feels a kind of violation.
--Earlier I had felt that this was my big chance to get a job that I wanted and was passionate about; that this time I could create a resume which spoke of me and my character truthfully. This would be such a relief for me. I hate being dishonest, even if it's an honesty by the name of Selling Yourself. Even this selling the self is dishonest in the sense that I am not a sort of person who likes to "sell themselves". Nobody in their right mind should be, if we were to take that phrase literally.
Well, everything is.