RIP Uncle Doug and The Dentist
I might as well get this out of the way first. Yesterday morning I came downstairs and followed my mom into the kitchen. I noticed she was crying, so I asked what was wrong. She said Doug died last night. All I could say was "Oh," and wait for that to sink in. It wasn't completely unexpected, but still hits you pretty hard. He had stopped breathing and doctors tried to bring him back for a half hour, but were unsuccessful. I've mentioned before that he suffered from Diabetes and wasn't taking care of himself and he really went downhill in the past couple of years and was placed in a nursing home. Sadly, he never got to come back home. It was hard to hear about him suffering so much. I think the last time I saw him was early on in 2020, but I don't remember exactly when. The pandemic would have made it difficult to visit with him to begin with and it was just too hard to go see him in that state. Yesterday I cried a little, but mostly felt numb and just trying to process everything. Not really wanting to go through grief again after losing Luke, but this is not quite as devastating as that because it was more expected. Maybe that's wrong to say, but it's how I feel. In truth, I didn't see my aunt and uncle all that often. Mainly during birthdays and holidays. We did get to go on a cruise with my aunt and uncle back in 2019. He wasn't 100% then either, but we still had a good time. It's still felt surreal to me, thinking I won't see him again, at least not in this life. I wish he had taken better care of himself. He would probably still be alive today and not have died prematurely. Fortunately I have mostly happy memories of my uncle. He was always so funny. Made everyone laugh. And he stayed positive until the end, which I can't even fathom knowing what he had to deal with. So, I will miss that.
I just heard my dad talking on the phone this morning with my aunt Jennie and she's really struggling. She had to deal with being apart from her husband for so long, and now this. I can't even imagine. And she's not one who likes to talk about feelings. She doesn't deal with things well. I wish peace for her even if it's impossible to find right now. She's going to need a lot of help and hopefully she can accept it.
Yesterday was hard. Mentally, I hadn't been doing so great to begin with even before that news dropped, but on top of that I had a dentist appointment to get a tooth filled. Yeah, they found another one. Surprise surprise. I had been having sensitivity for some time. Probably started not long after I last had work done. Chose to ignore it, unless they found something on my next cleaning appointment, which they did. I tried to be careful about chewing on the right side, especially harder foods. Most of the time I wasn't bothered by it, but sometimes it could be really irritating. This cavity was actually visible because it was on the outer surface of the tooth rather than on the biting surface. Weird place for a cavity for me. I also saw it and thought maybe it was a stain, but when I flossed last night I saw the spot was gone, so that was it then.
Went to my appointment yesterday. I was an anxious mess of course. Didn't know if it was because of the anticipation or me still reacting to the news of my uncle's death. When I was able to get lost in the emotional numbness though, the anxiety wasn't there. I was just in a trance while waiting for the dentist to come in. Tried a grounding technique, which helps a little. I was assured the appointment was a quick and easy job because the cavity was small and it was. They were literally only drilling for a few seconds in the beginning and then a little longer later to smooth out the filling. Not too bad. It was probably the quickest filling I ever had. My anxiety didn't seem to know any different though. I noticed when I got back out to the waiting area after it was done, my hands were shaking, and me being me, I stuffed my hands in my pockets to hide it. *Sigh* I'm probably not ever not going to be anxious at the dentist. It's entirely reactive. So far so good on the sensitivity side of things. I'm not experiencing any pain, so I'm hoping that tooth was the cause.
So, yesterday was a trying day. RIP Uncle Doug. Thanks for the good memories. :'(
I just heard my dad talking on the phone this morning with my aunt Jennie and she's really struggling. She had to deal with being apart from her husband for so long, and now this. I can't even imagine. And she's not one who likes to talk about feelings. She doesn't deal with things well. I wish peace for her even if it's impossible to find right now. She's going to need a lot of help and hopefully she can accept it.
Yesterday was hard. Mentally, I hadn't been doing so great to begin with even before that news dropped, but on top of that I had a dentist appointment to get a tooth filled. Yeah, they found another one. Surprise surprise. I had been having sensitivity for some time. Probably started not long after I last had work done. Chose to ignore it, unless they found something on my next cleaning appointment, which they did. I tried to be careful about chewing on the right side, especially harder foods. Most of the time I wasn't bothered by it, but sometimes it could be really irritating. This cavity was actually visible because it was on the outer surface of the tooth rather than on the biting surface. Weird place for a cavity for me. I also saw it and thought maybe it was a stain, but when I flossed last night I saw the spot was gone, so that was it then.
Went to my appointment yesterday. I was an anxious mess of course. Didn't know if it was because of the anticipation or me still reacting to the news of my uncle's death. When I was able to get lost in the emotional numbness though, the anxiety wasn't there. I was just in a trance while waiting for the dentist to come in. Tried a grounding technique, which helps a little. I was assured the appointment was a quick and easy job because the cavity was small and it was. They were literally only drilling for a few seconds in the beginning and then a little longer later to smooth out the filling. Not too bad. It was probably the quickest filling I ever had. My anxiety didn't seem to know any different though. I noticed when I got back out to the waiting area after it was done, my hands were shaking, and me being me, I stuffed my hands in my pockets to hide it. *Sigh* I'm probably not ever not going to be anxious at the dentist. It's entirely reactive. So far so good on the sensitivity side of things. I'm not experiencing any pain, so I'm hoping that tooth was the cause.
So, yesterday was a trying day. RIP Uncle Doug. Thanks for the good memories. :'(