Jury Duty
So, I had to do jury duty yesterday. I didn't get picked to be on a jury. I didn't even go in a courtroom. They weren't ready for that day. There were a few groups that got called to go to courtrooms in the morning, but my name was never called. The courtrooms for the afternoon weren't ready, so all the people left were dismissed.
Even though I wasn't picked, the entire time I spent there was total utter misery. I basically was having anxiety attacks the whole time I was there. I got almost no relief. I tried the breathing techniques my therapist had given me, but that only worked temporarily. It felt like I was slowly being tortured. I'd almost rather be stabbed with a knife then go through that again. It had nothing to do with being around a lot of people, it had to do with unpredictability. Not knowing what was going to happen. Not knowing when or if they would call my name. Not knowing if I got in the courtroom, I would be made to go in the box. There were long periods of waiting and I was really squirming in my seat wanting to get out of there. I had a book to read, but had some trouble focusing on it.
I spent the majority of the time in the assembly room. My mom stayed with me, but she couldn't go in the room with me, so she stayed in the cafeteria. We kept communicating by text message. I would tell her if I was selected in a group or not. The first thing they had us do was say that we were happy and willful jurors. Funny, I'd say about half of that is right. Then we listened to a orientation of what to expect and then we watched a couple other videos. The first was about the jury duty process. It allayed my fears somewhat, but not for long because I went straight back into anxiety hell again. Then I think we went into a break and I met up with my mom for a little while. Then I went back to the assembly room and the first group was called. I wasn't on that one so I texted my mom saying so. Then the lady said they were waiting to hear back from the other courtrooms, so I had to wait. Finally after a while the lady came back and called two more groups. I wasn't in those groups either. Then more waiting as more courtrooms were on standby for the afternoon. After waiting so long, they still hadn't heard back from the other courts so they dismissed us for lunch early. I had lunch with my mom. The food was kinda crappy lol. My mom was really bored. She brought books, but she didn't feel like reading them and didn't want to play on her phone because it would wear the battery out. She didn't plan that out too well. At 1:30 I went back to the assembly room where they did a general roll call. The courts were still on standby, which meant we still had to wait some more. Finally, close to 3pm is when they dismissed us. I could finally go home!
Now most people could go home after that and relax, but for me, going through that is an ordeal I have to recover from. After that, I was in physical pain from having anxiety attacks for hours. :( I've done jury duty before and I thought this time might be easier since I sort of knew what to expect, but this was a different court of course and it really wasn't any easier. Now, I'm free for a year from doing this.
Even though I wasn't picked, the entire time I spent there was total utter misery. I basically was having anxiety attacks the whole time I was there. I got almost no relief. I tried the breathing techniques my therapist had given me, but that only worked temporarily. It felt like I was slowly being tortured. I'd almost rather be stabbed with a knife then go through that again. It had nothing to do with being around a lot of people, it had to do with unpredictability. Not knowing what was going to happen. Not knowing when or if they would call my name. Not knowing if I got in the courtroom, I would be made to go in the box. There were long periods of waiting and I was really squirming in my seat wanting to get out of there. I had a book to read, but had some trouble focusing on it.
I spent the majority of the time in the assembly room. My mom stayed with me, but she couldn't go in the room with me, so she stayed in the cafeteria. We kept communicating by text message. I would tell her if I was selected in a group or not. The first thing they had us do was say that we were happy and willful jurors. Funny, I'd say about half of that is right. Then we listened to a orientation of what to expect and then we watched a couple other videos. The first was about the jury duty process. It allayed my fears somewhat, but not for long because I went straight back into anxiety hell again. Then I think we went into a break and I met up with my mom for a little while. Then I went back to the assembly room and the first group was called. I wasn't on that one so I texted my mom saying so. Then the lady said they were waiting to hear back from the other courtrooms, so I had to wait. Finally after a while the lady came back and called two more groups. I wasn't in those groups either. Then more waiting as more courtrooms were on standby for the afternoon. After waiting so long, they still hadn't heard back from the other courts so they dismissed us for lunch early. I had lunch with my mom. The food was kinda crappy lol. My mom was really bored. She brought books, but she didn't feel like reading them and didn't want to play on her phone because it would wear the battery out. She didn't plan that out too well. At 1:30 I went back to the assembly room where they did a general roll call. The courts were still on standby, which meant we still had to wait some more. Finally, close to 3pm is when they dismissed us. I could finally go home!
Now most people could go home after that and relax, but for me, going through that is an ordeal I have to recover from. After that, I was in physical pain from having anxiety attacks for hours. :( I've done jury duty before and I thought this time might be easier since I sort of knew what to expect, but this was a different court of course and it really wasn't any easier. Now, I'm free for a year from doing this.