on second thought, i must be crazy..i pity the next poor thing who would get involved with this mess
so ive had quite a good life up til recently which would account for the lack of entries in here as of the last few years. but things change, and so do times. i actually would have expected it to affect me differently than it has been but maybe in time it will properly express itself. who knows. maybe ive mastered being a cold, careless, thoughtless, self centered son of a bitch. or maybe there are just so many crazy things going on in my life at one time that ive just gone haywire and no one thing can get processed properly. yeah, that must be it..
ive lost my long time girlfriend, lost my dog, my dad tried to kill himself, my grandma, grandpa and great grandpa all ended up in the hospital on the same day from different occurances and it aint nothing minor, probation hearing was fucked up and im sure thats going to affect the outcome of my trial....im too perrrdy to go to jail, we all know this. im losing my job after a solid month (whoo fuckin hoo) and i still have mad bills to pay. i have more debt than my friend with a kid! fuck me. worst part being i dont even know how i feel about all of this. i really dont. im feeling so many different things at once its hard to pick one out and go with it. i think im going crazy to be honest. worst part of all of this? losing cookie. i really miss that dog. really really, you know? before this week life has been extremely lonely. i would wake up after everyone went to work, then id go to work, come home after everyone went to be, watch some tv and repeat ad nauseam aka 2 months or so. i swear for a while i was the only person in existence. finally collin is home so i have someone to see everyday. and i dont have work anymore so hopefully that issue will be solved. i dont think i want to do that again. i mean of course i miss you too, but you know how the kid always came first with me. besides, thats far too large a book to write today
but whats this you worrying about me hurting myself?
yeahhhhhh
hit that blunt for me.
and take a shot or two for me.
and drop a few pills for me too.
and munch a few caps for me.
and blow a line for me while youre at it.
shit, while were partying why not boot up some dooo... oh wait, thats right.
no one does that shit cause its bad for you and nothing else i just mentioned is (i wonder where those boulders fell in the scheme of things??). so i guess ill see you in a future life. maybe then we'll meet at the right times in our lives and maybe then youll actually be able to save me ill be able to save you. take care of yourself is all im saying. dont worry, i wont make any mystery appearances in your life.. i got the hint after last time we spoke.
but it doesnt mean i cant keep thinking about you,
or dreaming about you,
or even writing about you.
so if you dont like it, dont come here. but dont expect me to stop.
ive lost my long time girlfriend, lost my dog, my dad tried to kill himself, my grandma, grandpa and great grandpa all ended up in the hospital on the same day from different occurances and it aint nothing minor, probation hearing was fucked up and im sure thats going to affect the outcome of my trial....im too perrrdy to go to jail, we all know this. im losing my job after a solid month (whoo fuckin hoo) and i still have mad bills to pay. i have more debt than my friend with a kid! fuck me. worst part being i dont even know how i feel about all of this. i really dont. im feeling so many different things at once its hard to pick one out and go with it. i think im going crazy to be honest. worst part of all of this? losing cookie. i really miss that dog. really really, you know? before this week life has been extremely lonely. i would wake up after everyone went to work, then id go to work, come home after everyone went to be, watch some tv and repeat ad nauseam aka 2 months or so. i swear for a while i was the only person in existence. finally collin is home so i have someone to see everyday. and i dont have work anymore so hopefully that issue will be solved. i dont think i want to do that again. i mean of course i miss you too, but you know how the kid always came first with me. besides, thats far too large a book to write today
but whats this you worrying about me hurting myself?
yeahhhhhh
hit that blunt for me.
and take a shot or two for me.
and drop a few pills for me too.
and munch a few caps for me.
and blow a line for me while youre at it.
shit, while were partying why not boot up some dooo... oh wait, thats right.
no one does that shit cause its bad for you and nothing else i just mentioned is (i wonder where those boulders fell in the scheme of things??). so i guess ill see you in a future life. maybe then we'll meet at the right times in our lives and maybe then youll actually be able to save me ill be able to save you. take care of yourself is all im saying. dont worry, i wont make any mystery appearances in your life.. i got the hint after last time we spoke.
but it doesnt mean i cant keep thinking about you,
or dreaming about you,
or even writing about you.
so if you dont like it, dont come here. but dont expect me to stop.