INSPIRED BY JESSICA
As most of you may know, I am a lifeguard at the YMCA, and to be honest, the next time I hear a member ask/say something stupid, my head is going to explode. Seriously. If you are going to become a member of the YMCA, here is a list of things not to say or ask:
1.) If you see someone swimming in the pool, please do not ask me if the pool is open. It is, and if you ask me anyway, I shall bar you from entering the pool area. Stupid people should not be allowed to swim anyway.
2.) If you see a sign advertising it, odds are, we HAVE IT. For example, a woman told me that she had seen the sign pointing in the direction to our sauna, and in then in the same sentence, she asked if we had a sauna. Please do not ask a question like that...I do not want to have to go to the hospital on account of an aneurism.
3.) Our pool has seven lanes. If you see five people swimming, and yet you still have to stop and count the people, you're a dumbass, and you should be barred from the pool area. If you choose to sit on the bench, because the pool is "too full," you should be barred from the YMCA.
4.) If you tell me that you're legally blind, that you refuse to wear glasses of contacts, and that you drove here yourself, all in the same sentence, then please do not get in my pool.
5.) If you ask me if I would save you if you fell in the pool, then I wonder how you manage to breathe.
6.) If you have to ask me for permission to do ANYTHING, then the answer is NO. Don't ask, just do it.
7.) And last but not least, if you can swim, then you have eyes. LOOK AT THE FUCKING POOL SCHEDULE.
1.) If you see someone swimming in the pool, please do not ask me if the pool is open. It is, and if you ask me anyway, I shall bar you from entering the pool area. Stupid people should not be allowed to swim anyway.
2.) If you see a sign advertising it, odds are, we HAVE IT. For example, a woman told me that she had seen the sign pointing in the direction to our sauna, and in then in the same sentence, she asked if we had a sauna. Please do not ask a question like that...I do not want to have to go to the hospital on account of an aneurism.
3.) Our pool has seven lanes. If you see five people swimming, and yet you still have to stop and count the people, you're a dumbass, and you should be barred from the pool area. If you choose to sit on the bench, because the pool is "too full," you should be barred from the YMCA.
4.) If you tell me that you're legally blind, that you refuse to wear glasses of contacts, and that you drove here yourself, all in the same sentence, then please do not get in my pool.
5.) If you ask me if I would save you if you fell in the pool, then I wonder how you manage to breathe.
6.) If you have to ask me for permission to do ANYTHING, then the answer is NO. Don't ask, just do it.
7.) And last but not least, if you can swim, then you have eyes. LOOK AT THE FUCKING POOL SCHEDULE.