Part Four
It took almost another week of talking it over before Misha got Jensen to text Jared and invite him over. He wasn’t the least bit surprised when Jared cautiously accepted the invitation. Asked what was up but Jensen had just said they needed to talk. Which Misha thought was fair. As much as he wanted things to work out for Jensen’s sake, he couldn’t help the little irrational part of him that was annoyed at Jared for breaking Jensen’s heart in the first place. Patently stupid, was what that was because if he hadn’t then Misha wouldn’t be with Jensen right now. And yet, he couldn’t help that he was mildly concerned about whether Jared had really learned his lesson here.
Lesson being that Jensen deserved to be treated better than that. Deserved to have a say in things. And most definitely, didn’t need Jared to hurt him again. Misha just hoped that if he declined their offer, he’d at least do it graciously. Not make things harder for Jensen. It wouldn’t be a lie to say that Misha was a little nervous about what would happen if Jared turned this into an ultimatum. Wanted Jensen to choose.
He knew Jensen loved him, could feel it. But how did that measure up to his childhood sweetheart and first love? That was the thing Misha wasn’t so sure about. Jensen said he couldn’t lose him, but could he lose Jared again? Even though he’d talked to Jensen about his concerns and Jensen had reassured him that he wasn’t going to leave him for Jared, Misha still had a tickle in the back of his mind that warned him this was dangerous territory.
Maybe some lizard brain possessive trait he needed to work on, but he wasn’t gonna let it get in the way. From the day they'd met, all Misha had ever wanted for Jensen was for him to be happy. And it didn't bother him the way other people would probably think it should that he needed Jared's help to make that happen.
Misha didn't see it as a shortcoming of his or Jensen's, just saw it as an alternative relationship model. Some people were happy in a relationship with one person and some people were capable of loving more than one person. Of sustaining relationships with multiple partners.
And even though he didn't see himself ever wanting anyone but Jensen, he understood where Jensen was at. Understood how much it tore him up that he wanted them both. He wished he could take away the societal conditioning that made Jensen feel that way but he couldn't. He just hoped that if things went well that night and given time, that Jensen would accept that there wasn't anything wrong with him.
At seven p.m sharp there was a hesitant knock on the door and Misha glanced over at Jensen. He was anxiously fiddling with the hem of the black t-shirt he was wearing. The one it'd taken him fifteen minutes of deep contemplation to pick out. Affection grew in Misha's chest, pushed out the nerves and he kissed Jensen reassuringly before he went to get the door. Left Jensen sitting on the couch in the living room.
Misha swung the door open and put on his best welcoming smile, “Hi, Jared. C’mon in, Jensen's just resting his leg.”
Awkwardly Jared nodded and kind of adorably bounced on his feet before he followed Misha inside. The house still didn't have much in the way of decoration, but on one wall of the living room Jensen'd started a collage of candid photos of them. So far there were a little over a handful, but Jensen had plans for it to grow.
“Have a seat.” Misha said, and motioned to the well used lazy boy that he'd moved to face the couch.
Jared glanced from Jensen to Misha, looked totally unsure of himself but he sat down. Well, at least he hadn't bolted from the get-go Misha thought as he sat next to Jensen and placed a reassuring hand on his thigh, rough denim beneath his palm.
“Hi, Jared.” Jensen finally said, anxiety clear as a bell in his voice.
A little straighter, Jared sat up in his seat, brow creased a bit, but a small smile on his lips, “Hey, Jen. What's goin’ on?”
A wry smile crossed Jensen's face, tension was practically radiating off of him, but somehow he faced it head on. “I’m in love with you,” he said, no attempt to beat around the bush.
“Oh.” Jared breathed, eyes wide as they flashed between Jensen and Misha. Almost comical enough to make Misha laugh but he reigned it in.
“And-” Jensen took a small breath in, “And I love Misha too.”
Jared’s lips parted, his eyes grew even wider and Misha really had to reign in the smirk that threatened to turn up the corners of his lips. But then Jensen started talking again and Misha’s amusement at Jared’s reaction flew out the window.
“It’s selfish and probably fucked up. But I can’t choose.” Jensen said, gaze on his own lap. “I just… I love you both and I know you might not be okay with that. I understand if you can’t handle it, that, uh, it’s a lot to take in.”
Frozen, Jared just sat there, same shell-shocked look on his face and Jensen finally braved a glance up. It seemed to shake Jared out of his petrified state and he finally blinked a couple of times before he tilted his head to the side a bit as he seemed to be working out what Jensen was trying to tell him.
“I don’t-” Jared started then paused and licked his lips. “What are you saying?”
Jensen leaned into Misha’s side like he needed the support and Misha squeezed his thigh a little, let him know it was okay.
“I’m saying… Misha and I talked about it and he thought- we thought, why do I have to choose?” Jensen shrugged one shoulder in a motion that was almost actually casual.
“... So… what? Like an open relationship?” Jared said, then frowned when the two of them laughed. “What?”
“Sorry.” Misha managed, “Jensen said the same thing, the same way when I suggested it.”
“Of course he did.” Jared said, a little smile of his own. “Because this is crazy. Can't believe I'm really thinking about this.”
“I know it's not exactly normal.” Jensen admitted. “And it's not something I ever considered before… It’s just, I need you both and I can't explain it any better than that.”
Jared nodded a little jerkily and then his hazel eyes locked on Misha's, “And what? You're just okay with this?”
“I am.” Misha said honestly. “I want Jensen to be happy, and he needs us both for that.”
Jared chewed on his lip, face a confused mess of flickering emotion, “Don't you think you'll get jealous?”
“I think it’s possible that feelings of jealousy might pop up now and then.” Misha admitted, face open and honest, “But it’s not something I couldn’t overcome as long as we’re all on the same page.”
“And what page is that?” Jared asked cautiously.
“That we love Jensen and we want to make this work for him.” Misha said.
Slowly Jared nodded, brows still furrowed a bit. “‘Course, but how’s this gonna work? Like, logistically?”
Amused, Misha smirked, “He’s not like a timeshare, Jared.” Jensen snorted and Jared rolled his eyes. “We play it by ear and we figure it out.”
“Okay.” Jared said with a firm nod.
“Okay?” Jensen asked, eyes wide as if he really hadn’t expected this outcome.
“Yeah, Jensen. Okay.” Jared repeated with a smile that brought out his dimples full force and oh, hey, that was kind of cute. Not really the time to notice that, but, yeah. Cute. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you. I love you and if this is how I get to have you in my life, I’ll deal.”
A frown tugged Jensen’s lips down a little, “If you think you can’t do this, you know that’s okay right? I don’t want you to feel like you hafta do this.”
Jared’s smile turned mischievous, “When have I ever done something I didn’t wanna do?”
Jensen laughed, “Pretty much never.”
“Right.” Jared said, “so trust me when I say I want this. Want you.”
Like the sun came out, Jensen’s face brightened and his grin was gorgeous. He glanced at Misha questioningly and somehow Misha knew what he was asking, said “Go for it.”
Faster than a shot, Jensen was out of his seat, stumbled over and crowded into Jared’s space, lips on Jared’s. Some part of Misha wondered if he was broken in some fundamental way because it wasn’t jealousy that he felt as he watched Jensen kiss Jared. It was a weird satisfaction at how perfect and content Jensen looked like that, hand fisted in Jared’s long hair. And this undercurrent of arousal that he tried to push down because with how precarious everything seemed, it definitely wasn’t the time to float the idea of a threesome. Even if that idea had merit.
After a minute or so, Jensen pulled back, cheeks flushed pink and this shy, almost guilty smile on his face as he glanced back at Misha like he was checking if it was still okay. Reassuringly, Misha smiled back at him. Jensen bit his bottom lip before he kissed Jared once more, then sat back down on the couch next to Misha.
Roughly, Jared cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, a little awe-struck, wistful look on his face and Misha was pretty sure all three of them were in the same boat.
“God I missed that.” Jared finally confessed. “Going to California was such a fucking mistake. I miss you so damn much and I’m miserable all the time. What I thought I wanted and what I really wanted were two completely different things.”
“Missed you too.” Jensen said quietly. “I'll miss you when you go back.”
“Nah, screw that. I'm not going back.” Jared said with determination. “I'll transfer here.”
Jensen frowned, “You can't just… Jared, that's a ridiculously big decision to make. You can't just spontaneously decide that.”
In response Jared just relaxed back into the chair and grinned, “Yeah, hi, I'm Jared Padalecki and I'm impulsive.”
“Jay-”
“Jensen.” Jared interrupted. “There's nothing waiting for me in California other than months of being away from you. And I know you'd be cool doing the long distance thing, but I'm not. I wanna be here with you. I wanna spend time with you that isn't stolen before I leave again. I wanna be here.”
“I-” Jensen hesitated, “I want that too. Just, I don't want you to resent me or something.”
“Not gonna happen.” Jared said with a lopsided affectionate smile that flashed his perfect white teeth.
“So…” Misha said delicately. “If Jared's planning to stay and move into the city, why don't we just let him use the spare room for now? At least until he can get a dorm room or find an apartment.”
When silence met his proposal, Misha continued, “Yes, I know it's a big deal. No, I'm not crazy. Yes, it'll be an adjustment but, c’mon. Jared’s a student too. Not like he can afford to stay in a hotel or something and we have room.” He shrugged a shoulder. “Besides, maybe it's weird or whatever, but I think I should get to know my boyfriend's other boyfriend.”
Jared chuckled at that and Jensen shot him a look. “This whole situation is weird.” Jared said, but he was smiling despite his words. “I don't think it's that far off base that you'd wanna make sure I'm good enough for him.”
“If Jared wants to, I mean, yeah. Works for me.” Jensen said.
“What d’you think Jared?” Misha asked.
“Well, if you guys are sure you don't mind?” Misha and Jensen both nodded. “Then yeah. It sounds kinda crazy, but I actually think it's a good idea. Might save Jensen from feeling any guiltier if we're both around and he doesn't feel like he's gotta choose who to be with when, you know?”
Pleased that Jared was considering Jensen's feelings in this, Misha agreed. They decided that Jared would head back to his parents place that night and move into the spare bedroom sometime the next afternoon. Jensen had said he thought Jared should take the night away and really think it over because it would be easier if he changed his mind then.
Even though Jared assured him he wouldn't, he went along with it. Before he went though, Misha insisted on feeding him since they'd brought him all the way there. He ordered pizza and they ended up moving the furniture around, and no, not in the happy fun time way, so that the lazy boy wasn't blocking the TV.
By midway through a baseball game that Misha wasn't even remotely paying attention to, Jensen’s head was resting on Jared's chest, his body tucked beneath Jared's arm, and Jensen's legs were draped over Misha's lap, cast a little heavy, but not crushing. Comfortable, warm and after a little bit it stopped being kind of awkward and just started to seem normal.
They had pizza and cokes when the delivery guy got there and settled right back in for the end of the game. And weirdly, Misha thought he could get used to this. To the way Jared brought out this funnier, flirtier side of Jensen that he didn't get to see all that often. To the seemingly touch starved way Jared constantly had a hand somewhere on Jensen and before the end of the night, had started doing the same to Misha.
The whole time Jensen kept throwing Misha these assessing looks, like he was waiting for Misha to put a stop to everything. Like he was looking for permission, but Misha didn't have even the slightest impulse to stop anything. Seeing someone else love Jensen like he did wasn't hurtful, didn't make him jealous. If anything it carved a new spot in his heart for Jared because seeing up close the way that Jared and Jensen loved each other, it was impossible not to notice how much Jared cared about him.
How much Jensen had been missing and Misha found it endearing, the way Jared, much like Jensen, was deferring to him on acceptable behavior. He put a pin in the thoughts that inspired too, for further exploration at some future point along with the threesome thing. For now though, he could at the very least say with fair certainty that he enjoyed Jared's company and he thought they could definitely be friends. Which would for sure make things easier for Jensen. For all of them.
So before Jensen walked Jared to the door, gave him a lingering goodbye kiss, Misha had shaken his hand and told him he'd had a good time. Jared’d just smirked and pulled him into a giant hug, with a clap on his back.
“Yeah.” Jensen had teased, “Since Jared's gonna be around more, you should probably get used to casual touching. He’s kinda tactile.”
Once Jared had left and the door was shut behind him, Jensen turned around, knuckles white with strain on his cane and leaned up against the door.
“Babe?” Misha asked as he walked over to him, “you okay?” Eyes closed Jensen absently nodded and Misha moved closer, pulled him into a full body hug. “Overwhelmed?”
“Yeah.” Jensen said on an exhale.
“C’mon.” Misha said softly, temptingly. “Let’s go upstairs and I’ll give you a massage. Help you relax a bit.”
“I don’t deserve you.” Jensen mumbled as he straightened up and Misha hated it when he talked badly about himself because to Misha, Jensen was everything. Deserved so much more than he could ever hope to give him even if Jensen didn’t see it that way.
“Yes, you do.” Misha told him. “Whether you think so or not, you do. Now, bedroom before I change my mind about the back rub.”
Jensen finally cracked a smile, “I should be the one giving you a massage.”
“Next time.” Misha assured him.
Overall he was pretty satisfied with how things were developing. He liked Jared, at least so far, and he figured that’d go a long way toward making this adjustment easier on all of them. With any luck they’d get through the start of this without too many hiccups. But for now, he was gonna enjoy his last night completely alone with Jensen for a while.
This was crazy. Totally insane. Absolutely way, way, way out of Jared’s wheelhouse and he was nervous, sure, but also incredibly excited. Sort of on a rush of emotion over getting to have Jensen back in his life. Even if it was in a completely unexpected way. He didn’t really have a script for how this was all supposed to go. But he was pretty sure that moving in with his former ex, now current, boyfriend and his boyfriend the day after he got back together with him was like, nine kinds of nuts. Not to mention switching schools and uprooting his life.
He should probably be scared of how easy that these decisions had been to make, only he wasn’t. Because it was for Jensen. Well, not just for Jensen, for him too. He wasn’t lying when he said he’d been miserable in California. Sure he’d had a lot of good times with Chad and some of the other people he’d met there but anytime he slowed down enough for reality to catch up with him, he spiraled into a pathetic mess. He could function without Jensen, but it fucking sucked and he didn’t want to.
Still, he hadn’t really told anyone what he was doing. Wasn’t ready to explain himself to his parents, to justify what he knew they’d see as rash behavior. And honestly, because he wasn’t even sure that he could explain. He’d just told his mom that he was planning to visit a friend for a while. He’d deal with telling everyone when he was more sure about where this was going.
For now, he’d stuffed a duffle bag and a backpack full of his stuff and gotten his dad to drop him off a block away. Which seemed like overkill but the last thing he wanted was for anyone to put two and two together before he was ready to tell them about it. So maybe he was being paranoid. It wasn’t like their parents talked daily or anything but they did often attend the same social functions and well, point was, Jared had just waved goodbye to his dad and after he drove away, he walked down the street.
On the front steps when he got there, Jensen was waiting. He was sitting on the top step, this faraway look in his eyes until he caught sight of Jared. Then his face shifted into a soft smile that blossomed warmth in Jared’s chest.
“Hey.” He said as he climbed the steps and Jensen stood up just before he reached him.
“Hi,” Jensen replied, leaned down and pulled Jared into a soft, sweet kiss that gave him goosebumps and set off a slow burn of desire in him.
God he'd missed the taste of Jensen's lips, of the way Jensen's hands always wound up in his hair, the way Jensen kissed with his whole body. Pressed right up against Jared, not a hint of the shyness from last night. It was like sinking back into himself, and Jared melted into it.
Before long though, Jensen slid his hands down and took Jared's duffle, nodded back toward the door and said “C’mon, let's go get you set up.”
With lips that still tingled, Jared followed him inside, glanced around for Misha. Jensen caught him looking and raised an eyebrow, “What’s up?”
“Oh, just wondering where Misha is.” Jared said with a casual shrug of one shoulder.
This cute gooey look came over Jensen’s face when he replied, “Misha had office hours this afternoon but he went in early. Said he wanted to give us space to reconnect.”
“Oh.” Jared said, honestly surprised though he couldn’t pinpoint why. “That was really, uh, nice of him.”
Jensen just proudly grinned, “He is pretty great. Let’s go get your stuff into your room.”
“Yeah, sure.”
Jared followed Jensen down the hall and into the room he’d be staying in. A double mattress on a box spring sat in the middle of the far wall, a nightstand beside it and a chest of drawers that he recognized from Jensen’s room at his parents’ house. For some reason that little bit of familiarity soothed him, calmed his nerves.
Jensen dropped the duffle gently inside the door and slid Jared’s backpack off his shoulders. Let it drop to the floor. So close to Jared that if he tilted his head up just a little more, Jared’s lips would be poised to kiss him. Pink and ripe and right there, and then Jensen pushed up a little and it was like the flood of emotions that Jared was keeping in check finally broke free. All of the desperation and loneliness of the last year bled out of him as Jensen kissed him, slid their tongues together in a motion so fucking well-rehearsed that it was part of them.
All over him, Jensen couldn’t keep his hands still, they fisted in Jared’s shirt, smoothed underneath along his bare skin and then suddenly Jensen briefly broke their kiss to pull Jared’s shirt off. Back a second later, just as frenzied as Jared felt. He managed to get Jensen’s off not long after and God, the feel of him, soft skin and just a bit of definition against Jared felt so good, so right.
And all Jared could think as Jensen focused and peeled their clothes off, pushed him back onto the bed, was how the hell had he ever walked away from this? From Jensen? Because ever doing it again would be damn near impossible. Would break him in every sense of the word.
Jensen’s lips against his after he crawled on top of him, naked, was even hotter than he remembered. He ground down against Jared, delicious shivers of friction that made him arch up into Jensen. A little groan escaped Jensen’s throat as Jared gripped his hip bruise tight with one hand, the other on the back of his neck just shy of too hard the way Jensen’d always liked.
“God, Jared.” Jensen said in a strained whisper.
And Jared smirked, rolled his hips up just to feel the way Jensen shook a little against him. “How d’you wanna do this, Jen?”
For a long moment, Jensen just panted against Jared’s lips, rocked down against him and it wasn’t until Jared stilled him with both hands on his hips that Jensen finally answered, “Want you on top of me while you finger me and then I wanna ride you.”
A quick flash of arousal settled in Jared’s gut, loved it when Jensen talked dirty, his voice just that little bit deeper, harsher with lust. “Yeah? I remember how much you loved taking my fingers. D’you still come just from that?”
The pretty flush that spread across Jensen’s cheeks said yes louder than words could've, “Maybe you can try and find out later. Right now I just want you to fuck me.”
Jared let out a low groan and leaned back further into the pillow so he could look at Jensen better, “Lube?”
“Nightstand.” Jensen said as he rolled off of Jared, onto his back beside him.
“Aw, you stocked the nightstand. Aren't you a perfect little host?” Jared teased.
“Yeah, well, just for you. Don't let it go to your massive head.” Jensen said as he leaned up on one elbow and watched Jared open the drawer. “Grab a condom too.”
Huh. That was new, but then again it wasn't like they were still each other's first and onlies anymore so it made sense.
“Just.” Jensen bit his lip and Jared immediately wanted to chase the faint line his teeth left behind with his tongue. “Just until we all get tested, to be safe. I promised Misha.”
Add that as another on the list of things Jared figured should probably bug him but didn't. Naked and hard on a bed with Jensen, about to get the lube and it should've made him jealous how warm Jensen's voice always got when he talked about Misha but it didn't. It just left sort of a glow in his chest that Jensen was being taken care of so well. That he was happy.
“Of course. Yeah.” He replied and fished out a string of condoms. Ripped one off and left the rest in the drawer. Rolled back over to Jensen with it and the tube of Astroglide he'd found in one hand. “Makes sense.”
He tossed the condom up on the pillow next to Jensen and set about uncapping the lube. Slicked up his fingers and then dropped the tube next to Jensen's hip to keep it handy. In a movement made smooth through practice, he slid on top of Jensen, fit himself between his legs, propped up on one forearm above his head. Like this was a moment he'd been waiting way too long for, Jensen shivered and sighed out a hot breath.
The angle was a little awkward, but Jared knew just how to lean to fit his hand perfectly between their bodies, slipped it down as Jensen angled his hips for it. Perfect unison like they'd never stopped and Jared's fingers circled lightly, teased Jensen with brushes too gentle to do much more than make him desperate for pressure.
“Jared, c’mon.” Jensen begged. “Need you.”
Mmm, exactly what he'd been waiting for and Jared pushed his middle finger in slow. Slid in easy and fuck that was hot. Hardly any resistance like he was freshly fucked and why that made him diamond fucking hard Jared didn’t exactly wanna examine, but it did.
“Fuckin’ missed this. So damn hot inside.” Jared groaned against Jensen’s jaw before he scraped his teeth over the stubble that dusted it. Slipped another finger in faster than he normally would’ve but the hitch in Jensen’s breathing and the way he squirmed down onto it told him it was the right call.
“Love your fingers.” Jensen groaned as Jared brushed firmly over his prostate, rubbed it until Jensen was a gasping mess while he peppered open mouthed kisses along the column of Jensen’s neck, sucked at the spot just under his ear that always made Jensen lose it.
Didn’t fail and Jensen bucked up wildly beneath him with a loud moan that sounded vaguely like Jared’s name. Perfect opportunity and Jared took it, pressed a third finger into him, Jensen’s fingers locked onto Jared’s bicep, hard enough that he was sure they’d leave bruises, but then, Jared was leaving one on Jensen, so fair’s fair. He fucked his fingers into Jensen’s tight, hot, ass and kept up suction on that spot with flicks of his tongue and gentle bites until Jensen’s fingers fisted in Jared’s hair and tugged him up into a messy kiss.
Against his lips, Jensen whispered, “Fuck me, Jay. Wanna be yours again.”
Yeah, Jensen never did pull any punches when it came to getting what he wanted. And it’d take a much, much stronger man than Jared to deny him when he was covered in a salty-slick layer of sweat that made his skin glow, that accented the blush that stained his cheeks, down his neck and spread to his chest. The puffy swell of his kiss bruised lips and those half-lidded green eyes sealed the deal. Smelled like fucking heaven too, all masculine and sex and Jared didn’t stand a chance.
Carefully withdrew his fingers and grabbed the condom before he sat back on his heels, watched Jensen’s rapidly rising and falling chest as he tore open the wrapper. He let himself take in every little bit of Jensen on display while he rolled the condom on. The thick jut of his cock, flushed dark and pink tipped, pearl of precome beaded on top for a second before another little blurt was forced out and slid down his shaft. Shiny and so fucking sexy.
Quick as he could, Jared lubed himself up and then they traded places. Jared on his back, bed still warm where Jensen’s skin had heated it, Jensen with his knees on either side of Jared’s torso. Positioned himself over Jared’s admittedly generously sized cock and reached behind himself to guide it in, his other hand on Jared’s chest for balance. Jared’s breath caught in his throat at the pressure against his sensitive head before Jensen’s body eased and let him in.
Like it remembered how, like Jensen’s body was made to be stretched hot around him like this, he sank down silky and tight. “Fuck, Jen.”
A flash of a dirty smirk crossed Jensen’s lips, “Tryin’ Jay. Forgot how fuckin’ big you are.”
Jared slid his hands down to palm Jensen’s ass cheeks, “Mmm. Big all over. C’mon, baby. You can take it.”
Jensen shivered, nipples perky and tight and Jared couldn’t resist reaching up. He rubbed his thumbs over both dusky peaks and Jensen’s head dropped back, eyes closed as he rocked on Jared’s cock. So fucking hot. Slow at first, Jensen built up a rhythm that Jared’s body instantly synced with, pushed up into every drop down Jensen made. Little grunts, groans escaped both of them and the air filled with the sound of them, skin against skin and slick wet noises that Jared fucking loved.
Lips parted, face a picture of pleasure, Jensen looked amazing. Felt goddamn incredible and it was all Jared could do to keep himself from coming too soon. Wasn’t like he’d forgotten how damn amazing at this Jensen was, how hot he was, but memory and reality were wildly different. His hands wound up on Jensen’s ass again, grabbed on and pulled him down faster as his hips punched up and Jensen gasped, eyes suddenly on Jared’s, almost too much. A mess of feelings in his chest, love and longing and the hurt of being apart reflected back at him in the glossy shine of Jensen’s vibrant green eyes.
“Jen..” Barely a breath.
“Love you.” Jensen said shakily.
“God, you too.” Jared got out, watched while Jensen slowly came apart over him and just when he felt his own orgasm quickly catching up to him, he wrapped his fingers around Jensen’s hard, leaking cock and roughly jerked him off. Hand a blur of motion as Jensen slammed down faster and faster. Lip caught between his teeth again, Jensen curled forward when his climax hit. Sexy fucking grunt that along with the way his body clamped down on Jared’s cock slammed him headlong into his own. A rush of intense pleasure that cascaded from his gut out through his limbs and left his fingers and toes tingling in the aftermath of it.
Soft against his face, Jensen’s fingertips as they brushed over his cheekbones, pushed back the hair matted to his forehead, brought Jared gently back down and he let out a slow breath as he floated bonelessly warm with afterglow. High on being with Jensen and endorphins. His eyes were still closed, but he felt it when Jensen pressed a soft kiss to his lips before he gingerly reached back and wrapped his fingers around the base of the condom, gently lifted up until Jared slid all the way out of him.
Cold air on his heated over sensitive skin finally fully roused Jared and he took over, got the condom off and into the trash. He wanted to crash right back onto the fresh sheets and pull Jensen into him but he knew the drill. Shower first, then cuddling. So he let himself be pulled along to the bathroom.
After a quick shower that could probably have been considered more of a soapy, wet, cuddle than utilitarian in nature, they were sufficiently cleaned to Jensen’s standards and they made their way back to the bed once they’d dried off. Climbed under the covers and Jensen set an alarm on his phone so that if they fell asleep they’d still be up in time to make supper.
With Jensen’s head pillowed on his chest, arms tight around him, Jared finally felt like he was where he belonged again. His hands couldn’t stop smoothing over Jensen’s bare skin. Over his back, along his arms and Jared didn’t even try to curb the impulse. Besides, the contented sigh Jensen let out was like a signed confession that he’d missed it too.
“So how was that for making you mine again?” Jared teased gently.
Jensen choked on a laugh, “Shut up. You know the rule about bringing up the dumb shit we say during sex.”
A laugh bubbled up in Jared’s chest because yeah, he did, but that’d been too good to pass up. “You’re right. My bad.”
“Whatever.” Jensen said with a smirk, then his cheeks flooded with color. “And it was perfect.”
Jared’s lips spread in a wide grin as he replied, “Yeah, it was.”
They lapsed into silence after that and spent the time until Jensen’s alarm went off in a lazy half-asleep haze. Just reveled in being with each other like this again and how good it felt. Like the wounds of the last year were knitting themselves back together, healing.
Jensen pressed a soft kiss to his chest, reverent. Said quiet and vulnerably, “I’m uh, really glad, that you said yes.”
Affectionately, Jared carded his hand through Jensen’s hair, “Me too, Jen.”
If he’d had any remaining doubts about the situation he’d found himself in, they absolutely would’ve been wiped clean by the way Jensen’s arm tightened around his waist, the way he shifted into the last little bit of space between them and just clung to him like he still couldn’t believe that Jared was there. Like he was worried he’d disappear.
Later, while he and Jensen were in the kitchen making supper, Misha finally came home. Smiled warmly at the sight of them. He said a polite hi to Jared, and kissed Jensen softly, one hand cupped over his jaw. Cute the way Jensen blushed as he sank into it. Jared turned his attention back to the sauce he was stirring. Consciously made the effort to give them some privacy.
A few seconds later Jensen was back as he dumped pasta into the boiling water next to the pot Jared was working with. Misha started throwing together a salad, and it really ought to have been weirder than it was, the three of them making a meal together. But conversation flowed easily and they just… meshed. Maybe it was Jensen’s good taste at work, Jared thought with a smirk.
The next few weeks passed easily by. Things between the three of them were working out fairly easily and they were just, comfortable, Jared guessed. Misha was rapidly becoming a close friend, which was odd, but so was the situation he supposed. Falling back in with Jensen and finding his place with the two of them was surprisingly obstacle free. He’d gotten himself accepted and transferred to the same university as Jensen and Misha and everything was going great.
Pretty much the only thing that was bothering Jared about the whole situation was that he hadn’t found a part time job yet. He had some money in savings, not much but enough to get by. He wanted to chip in for rent and bills while he was staying with them though and Jensen wouldn’t even talk about it until he found a job. He said they were fine and not to worry about it. And of course, Misha agreed.
Eventually he landed a job at a nearby bookstore which suited him perfectly. The hours were flexible and he could line his time at work up with Jensen’s. Basically that meant he got to spend a lot of time catching up with Jensen. Got to be the one who took him to get his cast off and went to his PT appointments with him for moral support.
Sometimes Misha tagged along when he didn't have to be at school as a TA for summer courses. Seemed to Jared like they'd established a level of security already where Misha trusted him to do this for Jensen, to help out when he couldn't and it made a strange bit of pride glow warm in his chest.
Jensen and Jared had some great days marathoning TV shows, or hanging out around the house together. Marathoning other things together too. It’d been a damn long time since Jared’d felt as satisfied with his life, as fulfilled as he did then.
Over the rest of the summer all three of them ended up gradually spending more and more time together. What had started off as basically being roommates who happened to share a boyfriend soon became a deeper bond. Jared was sure he ought to have felt uncomfortable with the idea, but it was hard to be uncomfortable when Misha was grinning that dorky smile that lit up his whole face at him. With sparkling blue eyes and little crinkles at the corners of his eyes, the whole nine yards.
And Jared had to agree with Misha, a place where he could add as many toppings to his ice cream as he wanted was right up his alley. So the three of them headed out. It wasn’t like it was a date or anything, but when Jared held the door to the ice cream shop open for them, Jensen and Misha’s matching fond smiles set off a flutter of nervous excitement in his stomach that he pushed down as he followed them in.
Pretty soon he forgot all about that weird little moment in favor of salivating over the massive array of candy at the self-serve ice cream bar.
“Dude.” Jensen said as he caught sight of the truly gigantic mountain of candy that filled Jared’s cup. Everything from skittles to rainbow belts, some m&m peanuts, oreo bits and a bunch of other junk. Basically anything Jared liked that he’d seen. “That’s like 99% candy.”
“I know, right!” Jared exclaimed gleefully. Literal kid in a candy store happy. “Best ice cream ever!”
Misha laughed brightly from the other side of him, “Honestly Jared, I’m not sure if that even qualifies as ice cream after what you did to it.”
“Pft. Whatever.” Jared said with an amused chuckle. “I improved it.”
After they paid, they sat at a round table in the back and Jared instantly dug into his candy. He debated for a second what to eat first and went with the rainbow belts. Perfect combination of sour-sweet fruit-like flavor that he loved. They joked around and talked as they ate and overall, were having a pretty damn good time.
It was no surprise that Jared found himself focused on Jensen’s mouth, that was basically a given where Jensen was concerned after all. No, what caught him off guard was that he kept noticing the way Misha was eating his ice cream, how good his full pink lips looked wrapped around the spoon, the way his tongue flicked out to catch drops that he’d missed. And his brain couldn't help but supply extremely detailed, incredibly hot images of what else Misha’s mouth would look good doing. To him. Or Jensen. Or hey, why not both of them?
Right about the same time he realized just how long he’d been staring, he glanced away, and judging by the smirk on Jensen’s face he’d definitely noticed Jared's little lapse. Cheeks flushed and pants a little snugger than they were five minutes ago, Jared shifted uncomfortably before he quickly excused himself to the bathroom and stalked away.
In front of the bathroom mirror, he stared at his own face while he had a very alarmed mental conversation with himself about all of the reasons he shouldn’t start having feelings for Misha. Things were complicated enough the way they were, right? And Jensen’d always been the jealous type. Remember that time at that party? When some guy who'd been a little too drunk and handsy had grabbed Jared's ass and then before anyone else’d had time to react, Jensen had decked the guy.
Remember the crazy, possessive, hot as hell sex in the upstairs bathroom after? The way Jensen had pushed him up against the countertop, sank down to his knees in front of him and sucked him off like his life depended on it. And after Jared had come straight down Jensen's throat, he'd been the one on his knees while Jensen roughly fucked his face. Dirty talked while he did it all about how Jared was his and God, Jared’d gotten off on it so much that he'd been hard again before Jensen’d even come. He'd fisted his cock and jerked it fast and dirty and he came all over the floor while Jensen spattered his face.
So yeah, Jensen might be okay with being the one who was with two people, but he might not be as cool if Jared and Misha were into each other too. Possessiveness wasn't really a trait he was short on and as much as Jared usually found it hot as hell, it would definitely be a problem if Jensen suddenly found himself jealous of him and Misha.
Plus, what if it was one sided? What if Misha didn't think of him that way? Wasn’t like he’d ever expressed any interest in him whatsoever.
It wasn’t Misha’s fault that he was ridiculously good-looking, smart, funny, and on top of all of that a really selfless person. God, Jared was so screwed. It was one damn thing to share your boyfriend because you loved him and wanted him to be happy. It was another to have feelings for your boyfriend’s other boyfriend. Frustrated with himself, he rubbed his hand over his face then looked back at his reflection. Yep. So screwed. And he had a boner. This was just a great fucking day.
A couple of deep breaths in to gather himself and a quick trip into the stall to tuck his dick up in his waistband, pull his t-shirt down to cover everything as best he could, a trick he'd learned a while ago to deal with, well, usually inappropriate Jensen induced boners, then he headed back out. Jensen’s face was already pinched with concern when Jared walked over, and he felt even guiltier.
“Listen guys, I’m not feeling great. I’m, uh, gonna call it a day.” Jared said probably a little more gruffly than he'd meant to.
“Oh.” Jensen’s lips pursed before he stood up. “Probably all the candy.” Jared shrugged a shoulder and gave him a weak smile as Jensen lifted his palm to Jared’s forehead. Checked him for a fever. “You don’t feel hot. Lemme just throw this stuff out and we’ll head home.”
“No, guys, stay and have fun, okay? I’m just gonna go home and crash anyway. I’ll be fine, promise.” Jared said as he guided Jensen back into his seat.
Jensen’s frown deepened and Misha was watching him speculatively. Jared’s cheeks flushed even darker under his intense stare.
“Are you sure?” Misha asked. “We don’t mind leaving early.”
“Totally sure. I’ll see you guys later.” Jared leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Jensen’s head and shot a friendly wave at Misha, then took off for the door.
He made it home in record time and like a moody teenager, he threw himself across his bed and buried his face in his pillow. Took a few stale breaths of air and tried to steady the frantic beating of his heart. This was bad. Really, really fucking bad. Whether he wanted them or not, he had feelings for Misha. That were decidedly no longer platonic.
And Jesus, it wasn’t like he was blind, he’d known from day one that Misha was hot. That fucking dark, thick, messy hair, tanned perfect skin, perpetual stubble and those insanely blue eyes, how could he not have registered that. But… he’d been preoccupied with Jensen and hadn’t given those facts more than his passing attention.
Hadn’t thought that he even could develop feelings for more than one person. It’d never occurred to him that he was wired that way. He hadn’t thought there was anything wrong with Jensen, but he definitely hadn’t thought he’d ever be capable of that himself. Only. Turned out he might be.
And it was bad because he’d fuck everything up. He always fucked things up and this was gonna turn out to be another good thing that Jared wrecked for himself. Just like leaving Jensen in the first place. The hell was he supposed to do here? His thoughts were racing, panicked.
Maybe he needed to seriously consider moving out. There hadn’t really been any pressure to, and Jensen had seemed really content to have both of them there, but Jared was starting to feel like a freeloader anyway. And, well, if he wasn’t around Misha as much, then it wouldn’t be so hard to stop looking at him. Thinking about him. About all of them.
The tension Jared felt after his revelation crept into their lives. Made everyone uncomfortable and Jared could tell they both felt it too. He spent his time at home in his room or else he tried to be out of the house more when Misha was there and he could see that it was wearing on everyone but what was he supposed to do?
Pretty much the only way he could think of to keep his feelings under control, to get rid of them, was to avoid Misha. The last thing he wanted was for them to get any deeper. So yeah, he was screwing up the comfortable rhythm that had been their lives up until then, but he didn’t know what else he could do to stop himself from ruining it altogether. Every worried glance Jensen sent him when Jared made excuses to leave, every confused look on Misha’s face when Jared left the room piled up on Jared’s conscience. Made him feel shittier about everything because he was the one making them miserable.
One morning not long after school had started up again, Jensen was still sleeping upstairs and Jared had his laptop open at the dining room table, kijiji ads for apartments open on it while he went to grab himself some cereal. He turned back around and found Misha looking at it with a hurt expression on his face.
Jared froze up, didn’t know what to say to that. Didn’t get why Misha would be upset that he was looking for a place when he was technically supposed to have been doing it all along. Misha finally seemed to notice that Jared was watching him and he looked away. Mumbled a quiet, “Morning.” that Jared echoed.
Guiltily, Jared walked over and sat down as Misha went and got his own breakfast ready. He pushed his laptop back and set his bowl in front of it but he wasn’t hungry anymore. His stomach felt like twisted hunks of lead. He listlessly stirred his spoon through his cereal and tried to work up the motivation to take a bite.
Before he got that far though, Misha’s voice, thick with disuse and rough with emotion interrupted him, “Jared, did I do something that made you uncomfortable?”
Brows pushed closer together in confusion, Jared hastily said, “No- I, Misha, no.”
Misha crossed his arms and leaned back against the counter, barefoot cute in his jeans and too-big t-shirt and this, this right here, was why Jared had to leave. These thoughts that wouldn’t stop.
“Okay, well then how come you’re planning to leave?”
Answering that question was like walking through a goddamn minefield. Jared scrambled for a response that wouldn’t blow up in his face and finally blurted out, “I just think I should stop freeloading and get my own place. This whole living together thing was never supposed to be forever, was it?”
Misha couldn’t argue with that, they both knew it because it was always temporary. Always just until Jared found a place he could afford even if it’d gone unsaid that he could stay. That they didn’t mind. All of the steam seemed to suck out of Misha, and his shoulders slumped a little.
“Guess not.” He said, voice almost too soft for Jared to make out. “Jensen might take it the wrong way if you’re not careful when you tell him. Just. Make sure you do it soon. I don’t like keeping things from him.”
Jared nodded, “Yeah. I’ll, um. I get it. I’ll make sure Jensen understands. And I’ll tell him tonight.”
Misha sighed and left the kitchen, empty cereal bowl left out on the counter like an accusation. In Jared's chest an ache started up that formed a lump in his throat. He swallowed hard and forced himself to actually eat his soggy Froot Loops. Thought about how the hell he’d be able to explain it to Jensen in a way that didn’t sound just as weak as what he’d told Misha because Jensen would see right through that line and know something was going on.
Masterpost | Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Five