a reflection on times past and recent
(Go to your Calendar and find the first entry for each month of 2005. Post the first line (or so) of it in your journal, and that's your 'Year In Review'. )
January:
"heyy
so yeah school started again that blows, i had a hisotry quiz i totally failed today. yep. oh well. im gonna fail one tomorow too"
^haha that still stands very true because i'm basically still in that class. i think i talk differently now, but i might just be hoping.
February:
"You scored as Emo & More. Emo and Screamo"
^that's perfect because this is the year my emo-ness
really came out haha.
March:
"been a while, much has happened probably, ill do my best to remeber the more interesting stuff
thursday nights: they have taken a most unfortunate turn. now instead of happily watching the oc and point pleasant at home, i am at an sat prep class. i suppose it will be useful in the long run but its sooo boring, and i no no-one there. well, i kno 4 ppl from saints, unfortunately its 4 people i dont talk to. i suppose the person i know the best there is lauren dushene n were like aquantinces (sp? i have no idea) oh well, 2 weeks down, 6 to go! woo hoo
"
^such irony! considering how thursday nights are now :) and i've decided i definitley talk differently
april:
"not much going on lately, well, except that..................I GOT MY LICENSE!!!!! :-DDD"
^very appropriate considering that was a HUGE part of my year
may:
-- no entry. must have been a dull (or busy) month
june:
"summers been a roller coaster. becuase of all the drama ive been "going through" it really shouldnt be considered a good summer so far but im having a great time. you dont wanna know the issues, its just confusing and boring and its all over now so i can move on!"
^yeah the beginning of my summer was weird. i actually don't remember many details, its so foggy now. but yeah, like it says, i had a good summer.
july:
"im captive in a very boring place, known as capecod. cut off from all internet connections ,i am barely surviving. so i finally find an internet but they dont let people dl aim so im STILL cut off. "
^yess, those misreble times. i really don't like going to cape cod. it's probably the bane of my exsistence.
august/september:
--no entries
^that makes me sad, i should try to update this thing more because it's interesting to look back at. they were good monthes sprinkled with a few bad times.
october:
"life is generally good tho confsuing lately.
i am incredibly busy cause of school, work and drama. tues thru thurs this week i have work at 2:30 till 6, then drama 6-9 it suuucks. drama is ehh im in a lot of stuff but i dont really like it. i might not go tonight because i really wanna go to the soccer game cuz is senior night. but then murray might eat me so iiiidk. "
^sums up my month very well. god i feel like i've changed since then even. i think part of me changes, i hope grows up, a little more every day.
november:
"well i actually did all my homework so can actually be on the compueter! no ones in here though and its weirding me out. oh weeeelll. im so tired. 5 oclock call tonight. were reblocking you did it oh joy. im so hungry. im gonna go look at hair cuts though buhbye "
^i remember that day and entry well, as it was only like 20 days ago. [foreshadowing]->haircuts! :-D
december:
"ok. i am a mess."
^ yeah thats all you need to know for that entry. it summarizes the ups and downs of my life and such. but basically that line sums up my month so far. i'm not gonna lie and say its been all bad, there have been some VERY fun moments.
on that note, since that entry, a mere 4 days ago, things have picked up. but in a good way? i got the book read for history. and i passed the test. thats all you need to know about that. i took friday off. i just didn't feel like having 6 hours of school, and then 6 hours of work. surprisingly, work on friday was that VERY fun moment i was talking about. its the most i've genuinly laughed and continually laughed in a very long time. saturday was a great day. it was so different than normal days, which is why i enjoyed it so much. lauren, brittany, alicia, kate & i (shaws crew) went out to chardonnays for pizza, for fun/surprise birthday dinner for kate. lots of laughs and gossip, and good times to be had by all. after dinner we went (where else) but shaws! becasue it takes over lifes, and draws people to it on days they don't even work! only hardcore losers like us race to shaws on our day off. but we love each other so thats all that matters. then i went to the hockey game. i was very pleased that....they won! 10-0! yay them! and for for the other team smashing into the glass every 5 minutes.
thank god only like three more days until vacation. i honestly can't take it. senoritis has hit me in a bag way. i have a 70-74 in history and spanish and i honestly DON'T CARE. as long as i pass. i'm good.
i was just thinking about that time, i guess sophomore year, when i went to see eric zabinski's band, and in my entry about it, i commented on how i thought moshing looked like ninjas and i got like 20 comments of people freaking out on me for it. i have changed SO much since then. i've always cared so much what people thought of me. right now, i really don't care if someone hates me. because i hate a good half of the people i come in contact with. they just don't know it cause i'm a subtle bitch. but i'm comfortable with how i look right now. (my skin still makes me cringe, but thats beside the point) call me fat if you want, i'm okay with how i look right now. i like my hair. and sometimes i even have some self-confidence. i'm not sure what brought this about since like 3 days ago i was ready to slit it. (don't worry about it) idk i have spells of confidence, and depression. but in the moments that i'm happy, i want to milk it. so this is me world, deal with it. :)