Ok I am just transferring this from an a4 thingy I wrot eit in yesterday:
So this update has been long overdue, not because it is particularly important to anyne but me, but thats just how it is unfortunately!
So I was thinking about LJ and stuff. I have been using it for about 9 months or something and it is honestly the best thing ever.
Well, actually,
Pros: You can write anything you want, how you feel, anything.
It's stress relief sometimes when you press the update button and you feel like you are getting stuff out.
Cons: You can say anything, and thats a bit scary!
You can write things all you want but theres no guarantee anyone will understand them or who/what they are about etc. So in a way it seems pointless to update sometimes. I read a comment on avrils lj by ruth saying how people never get when you write something about them, well its so true, nobody you are writing about is gonna get it.
Myself personally, I never write something I don't mean or feel. Every poem is about someone, or something. Just because I don't post them complete with an explanation and names doen't mean they aren't about something.
So last night. I had a huge fight with my mom. She just doesn't get it at all. Seriously, she was all like "whats wrong with you? actually I don't care so don't tell me" Ah caring mother, as always.
She doesn't know anything. She doesn't know fucking anything at all! She doesn't know that all I want to do 24/7 is listen to that CD, because its like the only thing to do that makes me feel better, even though I cry listening to it! Every night for the last like week I have gone asleep listening to Konstantine, and I always feel so sad and then so happy and finally so sad, and then by the time its over I am asleep, becuase for the last few nights I don't remember hearing the last line.
I feel really bad that I don't ever talk to people about things properly, because whenever I'm asked I just sort of half talk about how I'm feeling and that just makes me think that people (by people I mean anyone I talk to in general.) will think that I don't trust them enough to talk, but I really do. It's just hard. In fact thats probably one of the things wrong with me, I do turst very soon and very easily. Maybe thats not a bad thing though. I don't know.
The weirdest thing, I have never cried so much in my entire life than in the last 2 weeks. I just don't know where its all coming from. The slightest thing can make me totally break down, and then the slightest thing could make me totally in a good mood again. Unfortunately the good things don't come often.
So on a random note, I have that quote to post here, "I wish I had saved all the tears I cried, (and now for my personal adaption) so that I could put rose petals in them and make eternal tear perfume. Perfume with real emotion. That totally just came to me now. Ok bye.
So I was thinking about LJ and stuff. I have been using it for about 9 months or something and it is honestly the best thing ever.
Well, actually,
Pros: You can write anything you want, how you feel, anything.
It's stress relief sometimes when you press the update button and you feel like you are getting stuff out.
Cons: You can say anything, and thats a bit scary!
You can write things all you want but theres no guarantee anyone will understand them or who/what they are about etc. So in a way it seems pointless to update sometimes. I read a comment on avrils lj by ruth saying how people never get when you write something about them, well its so true, nobody you are writing about is gonna get it.
Myself personally, I never write something I don't mean or feel. Every poem is about someone, or something. Just because I don't post them complete with an explanation and names doen't mean they aren't about something.
So last night. I had a huge fight with my mom. She just doesn't get it at all. Seriously, she was all like "whats wrong with you? actually I don't care so don't tell me" Ah caring mother, as always.
She doesn't know anything. She doesn't know fucking anything at all! She doesn't know that all I want to do 24/7 is listen to that CD, because its like the only thing to do that makes me feel better, even though I cry listening to it! Every night for the last like week I have gone asleep listening to Konstantine, and I always feel so sad and then so happy and finally so sad, and then by the time its over I am asleep, becuase for the last few nights I don't remember hearing the last line.
I feel really bad that I don't ever talk to people about things properly, because whenever I'm asked I just sort of half talk about how I'm feeling and that just makes me think that people (by people I mean anyone I talk to in general.) will think that I don't trust them enough to talk, but I really do. It's just hard. In fact thats probably one of the things wrong with me, I do turst very soon and very easily. Maybe thats not a bad thing though. I don't know.
The weirdest thing, I have never cried so much in my entire life than in the last 2 weeks. I just don't know where its all coming from. The slightest thing can make me totally break down, and then the slightest thing could make me totally in a good mood again. Unfortunately the good things don't come often.
So on a random note, I have that quote to post here, "I wish I had saved all the tears I cried, (and now for my personal adaption) so that I could put rose petals in them and make eternal tear perfume. Perfume with real emotion. That totally just came to me now. Ok bye.