various and sundry
It's been a while. It's the longest time I've ever gone without journaling. Something about almost dying - it can startle one. And I keep dreaming about Randy.
The first week back from the mission... was a blur.
At some point, I spent time throwing pottery with Jana... and I don't remember a single thing that she said. She prattled on about the usual, and I found myself off in my mind.
Diziara and Therav... as odd as it may seem, being THOSE two, as poorly as they get along... seem the two people who understand me best.
And the thing I most want to do is see the girls. I'm getting a week off, as soon as they can swing it. I plan to spend time with the girls. Whether it's going to happen on Bajor or on Earth... well, that depends upon when I finally get that week of leave.
Lately, I've been pulling doubles, so just like my transfer off of this boat, that week of leave is likely to be postponed. I haven't updated, but's all I can do not to crawl to my quarters and fall asleep two inches from the bed. And just as often as not, I crawl to Therav's quarters and fall asleep there instead.
I haven't slept in Therav's quarters that much lately because I've NEEDED my sleep, and because I'm almost guaranteed not to get a good night's sleep once I'm there. He only sleeps for four hours every thirty two or so... or else, I wouldn't know how I would deal with it. If he doesn't need to sleep that night, it's one thing, he'll just lay with me or sit quietly next to me and read, or he'll slip off to the holodeck or gym while I'm asleep.
But otherwise?
He has nightmares. Sometimes it seems worse and sometimes it seems better, but recently, it's been a lot worse. He tosses, he turns, he yells. One time, he flung his arm and smacked me square in the nose while I was asleep. Come morning, he didn't even know that it had happened.
I've asked him about it, but he doesn't talk about it. And I know better than to keep asking.
I guess that I just tend to fall for complicated men.
It's not like I haven't had nightmares of my own.