Pure Gratitude
As a few of you know, Per was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. This is a condition that tends to confuse people, because they are used to seeing Autism presented as an uncommunicative child lost in his own world. Aspies are a little different in that they tend to be highly verbal and want to socialize with others--they just have a really REALLY tough time with socialization. Things that are minor for "NT" kids, like loud noises, crowds, and emotions can be huge issues for Aspies. When Per gets together with friends, he can play right along with them until suddenly something triggers him and he melts down. It's tough for people to understand--they see him playing fine one minute, so they don't understand why the next minute he's in crisis mode. Often, Aspergers is described as an "invisible" disability, since there is nothing visually to tip you off that a child may have Aspergers, or that there is anything different about that child. It's not until you start interacting with them that you notice they might have a few strange mannerisms or that they know WAAAAYYYY more about dinosaurs than a kid their age should or that they are really REALLY insistent that they need to have the red chair even though the blue one should be perfectly fine and no other kid is making a big deal about what chair they get.
I mention this because one of the hardest parts of parenting a kid with an invisible disability is that you don't always experience a lot of compassion in public. On one hand, I can understand. Pretty much anyone can tell if a parent is struggling to help a child in a wheelchair navigate a curb. But given the number of lousy parents that one encounters, it's awfully tough to figure out if a kid is tantruming because they have a true behavioral issue being triggered or if they are just wretched unpleasant kids that have been poorly parented. (Hint: Look at how the parent *responds* to the child's behavior. If they appear to be working hard with the kid, there's probably something more going on. If they seem irritated and dismissive, it's more likely to be crappy parenting) The more stimulation there is in an environment, the more likely the parent is going to have a little trouble. I don't have any issues when I take Per to the library, but if I take him to a playground, I have to watch him like a hawk.
It was with more than a little trepidation that I planned a trip with Per to the Florida Disney parks. I've been there a few times before, and the one thing that stood out to me was the constant barrage of kids having meltdowns at around 3-4pm because they were tired, hot, cranky and overwhelmed. I decided that Per would dictate the pace of the trip--we'd bring him to parks, but he'd tell us what *he* wanted to go on. I also decided that there'd be no pressure to try and see everything. If we got to two exhibits and then decided to head out, no problem. But beyond that, I found out that Disney offered an accommodation for kids with Autistic Spectrum Disorders, which allowed the kids to bypass lines. I lined up the pediatrician's note explaining Per's diagnosis, and last weekend we arrived, ready to explore.
This was when I discovered just how wonderful Disney is for kids with special needs. The process of obtaining the pass was very quick and easy--they did look at our letter, and ask a couple of questions, but they did not make us feel uncomfortable or defensive about asking. We soon had a magical red pass that allowed us to seek alternative entrances. In some cases this meant we used the Fast Pass lanes, while in other cases it meant we went in through the exits. Every cast member we spoke with knew exactly what the pass was for, and not only were we never challenged about why we needed it, they couldn't have been kinder to us when we did use it. In some ways, there were a couple of points where the pass meant we missed out on a tiny bit of the ride--you miss the great introduction to the Haunted Mansion for example, as you enter through the exit on that ride. But just as often, the cast members found ways to make Per feel special--on the Jungle Cruise, they offered to let him "steer" the boat (he declined that honor, lol), and at the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular, they put him on the VIP list so that he would get a good seat without having to wait too long.
At a couple of points, I did feel a little guilty zipping right up to the ride as other people waited 40-75 minutes to get on "normally". However, I truly have to admit that while Per could have waited in maybe 1-2 of those lines, our experience would have definitely involved far more concerns and issues around his behavior, and we would have overall had a much more negative experience. It was definitely a HUGE weight off our shoulders that we could just go around the parks like normal families and experience what Per wanted to see without worrying that he wouldn't be able to make it through the line to get to the rides! And it was so wonderful to be around a company that not only "got it" at a corporate level, but made sure all their employees "got it" too. I fully expected to have to pull out the letter during my visit to prove that we needed the pass, but while they carefully checked the pass when we went up to the rides, they never made us feel awkward for using it. And it definitely reinforced to Per what we've been trying to teach him, which is that there is no shame in having Aspergers, but that you sometimes need to do things a little differently that other people, because that's what works for you.
I know in the grand scheme of business, this is a little drop in the bucket for Disney. But in a world where so few companies even recognize invisible disabilities, it was definitely appreciated by this family! Thank you so much for making our son's Disney experience just as wonderful as any other kid's would be! :)
I mention this because one of the hardest parts of parenting a kid with an invisible disability is that you don't always experience a lot of compassion in public. On one hand, I can understand. Pretty much anyone can tell if a parent is struggling to help a child in a wheelchair navigate a curb. But given the number of lousy parents that one encounters, it's awfully tough to figure out if a kid is tantruming because they have a true behavioral issue being triggered or if they are just wretched unpleasant kids that have been poorly parented. (Hint: Look at how the parent *responds* to the child's behavior. If they appear to be working hard with the kid, there's probably something more going on. If they seem irritated and dismissive, it's more likely to be crappy parenting) The more stimulation there is in an environment, the more likely the parent is going to have a little trouble. I don't have any issues when I take Per to the library, but if I take him to a playground, I have to watch him like a hawk.
It was with more than a little trepidation that I planned a trip with Per to the Florida Disney parks. I've been there a few times before, and the one thing that stood out to me was the constant barrage of kids having meltdowns at around 3-4pm because they were tired, hot, cranky and overwhelmed. I decided that Per would dictate the pace of the trip--we'd bring him to parks, but he'd tell us what *he* wanted to go on. I also decided that there'd be no pressure to try and see everything. If we got to two exhibits and then decided to head out, no problem. But beyond that, I found out that Disney offered an accommodation for kids with Autistic Spectrum Disorders, which allowed the kids to bypass lines. I lined up the pediatrician's note explaining Per's diagnosis, and last weekend we arrived, ready to explore.
This was when I discovered just how wonderful Disney is for kids with special needs. The process of obtaining the pass was very quick and easy--they did look at our letter, and ask a couple of questions, but they did not make us feel uncomfortable or defensive about asking. We soon had a magical red pass that allowed us to seek alternative entrances. In some cases this meant we used the Fast Pass lanes, while in other cases it meant we went in through the exits. Every cast member we spoke with knew exactly what the pass was for, and not only were we never challenged about why we needed it, they couldn't have been kinder to us when we did use it. In some ways, there were a couple of points where the pass meant we missed out on a tiny bit of the ride--you miss the great introduction to the Haunted Mansion for example, as you enter through the exit on that ride. But just as often, the cast members found ways to make Per feel special--on the Jungle Cruise, they offered to let him "steer" the boat (he declined that honor, lol), and at the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular, they put him on the VIP list so that he would get a good seat without having to wait too long.
At a couple of points, I did feel a little guilty zipping right up to the ride as other people waited 40-75 minutes to get on "normally". However, I truly have to admit that while Per could have waited in maybe 1-2 of those lines, our experience would have definitely involved far more concerns and issues around his behavior, and we would have overall had a much more negative experience. It was definitely a HUGE weight off our shoulders that we could just go around the parks like normal families and experience what Per wanted to see without worrying that he wouldn't be able to make it through the line to get to the rides! And it was so wonderful to be around a company that not only "got it" at a corporate level, but made sure all their employees "got it" too. I fully expected to have to pull out the letter during my visit to prove that we needed the pass, but while they carefully checked the pass when we went up to the rides, they never made us feel awkward for using it. And it definitely reinforced to Per what we've been trying to teach him, which is that there is no shame in having Aspergers, but that you sometimes need to do things a little differently that other people, because that's what works for you.
I know in the grand scheme of business, this is a little drop in the bucket for Disney. But in a world where so few companies even recognize invisible disabilities, it was definitely appreciated by this family! Thank you so much for making our son's Disney experience just as wonderful as any other kid's would be! :)