This is one of those entries you dont wanna read
i cant believe it, ive had such a wonderful day, looks like me and shelley are officially together now, and thats wonderful. it really is.
But when i got home i got some very bad news, my nan has died this afternoon, she was so strong and they thought she would have died alot sooner, and apparently she went very peacefully, she wasnt in any pain, but still... shes gone forever, ill never see her again, when we were growing up we were so close, although she had lots of family, we were always her boys, to this day. i just cant beleive shes gone, this wonderful woman. a woman that wouldnt do anything to hurt another human being, a woman whos care and passion brought a smile to your face, a mad woman, full of life, always so happy and upbeat even under the worst circumstances, and now she is no more. ive only just found out, so its very strange, i just cant grasp the concept of her not being here, she was diagnosed just before christmas, and had alot of treatment that really took it out of her, i remember being crushed when i heard her say she wasnt looking forward to christmas, she always loved seeing everyone and it made her so happy, but we couldnt see her because she was so exhausted from it all, i went to see her in the hospital a couple of months ago, and i thought she was going to die on the operating table that night, but she fought through it, but a person can only fight so much. im glad shes not in any pain anymore, but im gonna miss her so much. its horrible, how can such a thing happen to a woman so wonderful? and so young?
i dont know what to do, and i feel so alone down here with all my close friends in milton keynes. im gonna miss her, and even though everything else is starting to go so well, it seems so overshadowed by such a tragedy.
Shelley, if you read this, i want you to know how happy i am that ive found you, you are truly wonderful, and i need to let you know that if i seem sad, its not because of you ok? but my nan meant the world to me, and i dont know how im going to cope knowing shes not there anymore. Im sorry, I wanna enjoy any time i can get with you, and i know that your sweet enough to understand that i cant be happy all the time when something like this happens.