Blue Sky thinking
Click to viewOver the past few months, you may have noticed, my blogs have become less and less frequent! This is because I have been becoming more and more concerned, well to be honest, depressed, about the fact I had heard nothing at all about my transition. I was told it would be six months after coming out to my doctor before I would have an appointment at the gender clinc. Last Friday when I finally attended the Gender Clinic in Leeds it was over nine months since I first saw my doctor. And having suffered from anxiety and depression for at least the past ten years, they were becoming stronger and stronger feelings in my mind again.
The euphoria I had felt at finally revealing the ‘BIG’ secret about myself after well over 30 years, of hiding it away from everyone had turned into endless worry and thinking that as I had now been diagnosed with Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis (MS), my Primary Care Trust would look to save money by refusing to allow my transition!! It was obvious to me at least, in the depressed state I was rapidly traveling towards, that my dream was destined to die on a December day in Northeast Leeds!!
However, life was about to teach me the ultimate lesson in how good things can and do happen to me, not just to other people! And how important it is to remember something of the ‘power of positive thinking’! To open our minds as widely as possible to reveal the whole wide ‘blue sky’ with all it’s beauty and wondrousness.
I am calling it the ultimate Christmas present a girl could ever hope to receive, as at the gender clinic it was revealed that funding had been awarded for at least the first year of my transition, and if they were paying for my transition to start there was no way they would or could leave me in a ‘no-man’s’ (or woman’s) land. Also if they refused to allow me to transition because of MS it would be the very worst kind of disability discrimination.
So after all these years of running away from the woman I am I am finally in line to truly become her!!!