(no subject)
So parts of this are going to be very vague.
There’s something new and its pretty good. For about two weeks we’ve been hanging out and going on little dates. Something is holding me back of course. Well, a few little things, but one bigger thing. First, like I said, its new, and there’s so much more to learn. I’ve never imagined myself with someone in the military. But I don’t know what his views and values are yet. I do know that he’s nice, and good looking, and kind, and fun, and yeah…
There’s just the hint of possibly feeling something I haven’t in a long time. But there’s this thing. I don’t know if it’s a wrong reason or not. Right now I think it’s more of a selfish reason. I want so badly what I can’t have. Maybe its finally time for me to start wanting what I can have and take a step forward. I just can’t get past it. I hate myself for feeling this way, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I really don’t want to get past it. But I might not have control over it. After a few talks with a good friend, I think I have it figured out. I’m going to just let it go nice and slow like how its been going. I’m not going to move into a relationship or anything until I’m sure.
…but then the tiniest thing happens to make me step backwards.
I would just for once like to feel like everything is going to be okay and it will all work out....a hug would be nice too.
In other news:
I knew my manager liked me…eeewwwww! (I politely declined)
I got my hair done J and I’m glad I like it for the price I paid.
Poker night is going to be fun but even more awkward tomorrow
I miss someone on top of missing someone on top of missing everyone! :(
My flight has been booked; I come home on the 15th of May :)
I’m depressed and worried about my math grade and being kicked out of college
I’m sad I can’t be home on my favorite day of the year!
But all and all I’m happy because I love you all and know that some of you love me too!
HAPPY EASTER!
There’s something new and its pretty good. For about two weeks we’ve been hanging out and going on little dates. Something is holding me back of course. Well, a few little things, but one bigger thing. First, like I said, its new, and there’s so much more to learn. I’ve never imagined myself with someone in the military. But I don’t know what his views and values are yet. I do know that he’s nice, and good looking, and kind, and fun, and yeah…
There’s just the hint of possibly feeling something I haven’t in a long time. But there’s this thing. I don’t know if it’s a wrong reason or not. Right now I think it’s more of a selfish reason. I want so badly what I can’t have. Maybe its finally time for me to start wanting what I can have and take a step forward. I just can’t get past it. I hate myself for feeling this way, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I really don’t want to get past it. But I might not have control over it. After a few talks with a good friend, I think I have it figured out. I’m going to just let it go nice and slow like how its been going. I’m not going to move into a relationship or anything until I’m sure.
…but then the tiniest thing happens to make me step backwards.
I would just for once like to feel like everything is going to be okay and it will all work out....a hug would be nice too.
In other news:
I knew my manager liked me…eeewwwww! (I politely declined)
I got my hair done J and I’m glad I like it for the price I paid.
Poker night is going to be fun but even more awkward tomorrow
I miss someone on top of missing someone on top of missing everyone! :(
My flight has been booked; I come home on the 15th of May :)
I’m depressed and worried about my math grade and being kicked out of college
I’m sad I can’t be home on my favorite day of the year!
But all and all I’m happy because I love you all and know that some of you love me too!
HAPPY EASTER!