(no subject)
i hurt a lot right now. today has been very very..something-i dont really know how to describe it but i feel like crying at any moment but i cant..i want to hug graham right now-thats all ive wanted to do all day. but i cant.
things changed with me in one day.its so wierd.
i cant even believe this-seriously....half of my heart breaks because i cant even stand the fact that this happened to HIS family..of all families--i love them more than anything in the world next to my family..why? why does this happen to the best people..god it hurts to see him like that. you have no idea what he means to me. i dont think i even knew..i mean-i always knew that he changed me more than anyone ever has-but i think yesterday i just wanted to sit there and cry with him because hes the only one that i wanted to be with..i just wanted to be there for him and let him know that no matter what-he can feel safe with me and he can feel whatever he wants to feel when hes with me.
he is my best friend. i know this. i just needed to realize what my definition of a best friend was....hes is it
i love him. and i miss him-
i have never felt the way i did yesterday..i couldnt make myself be happy if i wanted to-ive been sad about something for a little while-like i would start to think about it and THEN be sad about it..but i couldnt stop crying inside and out..
things changed with me in one day.its so wierd.
i cant even believe this-seriously....half of my heart breaks because i cant even stand the fact that this happened to HIS family..of all families--i love them more than anything in the world next to my family..why? why does this happen to the best people..god it hurts to see him like that. you have no idea what he means to me. i dont think i even knew..i mean-i always knew that he changed me more than anyone ever has-but i think yesterday i just wanted to sit there and cry with him because hes the only one that i wanted to be with..i just wanted to be there for him and let him know that no matter what-he can feel safe with me and he can feel whatever he wants to feel when hes with me.
he is my best friend. i know this. i just needed to realize what my definition of a best friend was....hes is it
i love him. and i miss him-
i have never felt the way i did yesterday..i couldnt make myself be happy if i wanted to-ive been sad about something for a little while-like i would start to think about it and THEN be sad about it..but i couldnt stop crying inside and out..