(no subject)
Oops. I forgot to update this for....10-ish months or so. I've been busy. You know...with...stuff. Actually, I stopped updating because the davelog was getting too popular and I hated having people pestering me for an update. This was never meant to be a regular thing. Just something I did whenever I felt like it. Then you vultures had to ruin it.
Re-reading my old entries, I have two comments:
1) I'm a funny guy. People should pay me for this shit. Though, to be fair, all my humor is is an amalgam of 50 different comedians and they'd prolly want royalties if I started making money.
2) I must issue an apology to Vern Troyer. My very first entry here makes the false claim that he died. This is in fact untrue. He was on The Surreal World not long ago. My B, Vern.
3) I need to remember to use the phrase "Cum guzzling thunder cunt" more often. That's mindblowingly awesome.
So, I guess I should write something. Ah. I have an idea. I went to my first Catholic midight mass this past christmas eve. It answered a lot of questions, but raised a lot more. Some obervations:
1) I'd always wondered why people don't just steal money from the collection plate. I didn't realize that there is a pit-boss who watches everyone when the plate is being passed. Dude looked pretty menacing.
2) There were all these dead moments when people were just being quiet. (I said this the other day and someone said, "Yeah, they call that "praying" dumbass.") I realized that during this time, the priests were up on the dais doing their priest thing. Drinking wine, saying prayers. Seemed like THEY were having a blast. And here WE are, sitting in the pews bored off our asses. I was told that there are some prayers that only the priests are allowed to say. Well, ok. Not very democratic, but that's the way they do. Can't shit on that...catholicism just isn't for me. And that's fine. But, seriously...can't these dudes do THEIR prayers on THEIR time. Do I need to be there at fucking 12:45 in the morning while they mumble and drink wine? Pissed me off.
More stories later. The next one I have in mind involves 40's, so you KNOW it's gotta be good. Stay tuned and be sure to drink your ovaltine.
Re-reading my old entries, I have two comments:
1) I'm a funny guy. People should pay me for this shit. Though, to be fair, all my humor is is an amalgam of 50 different comedians and they'd prolly want royalties if I started making money.
2) I must issue an apology to Vern Troyer. My very first entry here makes the false claim that he died. This is in fact untrue. He was on The Surreal World not long ago. My B, Vern.
3) I need to remember to use the phrase "Cum guzzling thunder cunt" more often. That's mindblowingly awesome.
So, I guess I should write something. Ah. I have an idea. I went to my first Catholic midight mass this past christmas eve. It answered a lot of questions, but raised a lot more. Some obervations:
1) I'd always wondered why people don't just steal money from the collection plate. I didn't realize that there is a pit-boss who watches everyone when the plate is being passed. Dude looked pretty menacing.
2) There were all these dead moments when people were just being quiet. (I said this the other day and someone said, "Yeah, they call that "praying" dumbass.") I realized that during this time, the priests were up on the dais doing their priest thing. Drinking wine, saying prayers. Seemed like THEY were having a blast. And here WE are, sitting in the pews bored off our asses. I was told that there are some prayers that only the priests are allowed to say. Well, ok. Not very democratic, but that's the way they do. Can't shit on that...catholicism just isn't for me. And that's fine. But, seriously...can't these dudes do THEIR prayers on THEIR time. Do I need to be there at fucking 12:45 in the morning while they mumble and drink wine? Pissed me off.
More stories later. The next one I have in mind involves 40's, so you KNOW it's gotta be good. Stay tuned and be sure to drink your ovaltine.